Game of Thrones? More like Game of BONES! This is Dogster so you know we had to take Westeros and turn it over to the dogs! This season we expect to see more intrigue, brutality, and boobs than you can shake a bully stick at. Here are our picks for who would represent these lords and ladies in the K9 kingdom.
Tyrion Lannister is a Corgi
Youngest son of Lord Tywin Lannister and brother to Jaime and Cersei. Short in stature but large in wit.
Smart—too smart. Can be made crazy if not given an important job and enough enrichment. Wants to please his master and be told he’s a good boy.
Jaime Lannister is a Border Collie
Elder son of Lord Tywin Lannister, Cersei’s twin and secret lover. Grody!
Very talented and brave, and loves to be around his family. Maybe a little too much. Especially re: sister.
Cersei Lannister is an Afghan Hound
Self-serving and manipulative wife of King Robert Baratheon, mother to Joffrey, and Queen of the Seven Kingdoms. Doing it with her twin brother. Did we say grody?
Aloof, but dignified. Independent with strong desire to be their own master.
Catelyn Tully is a Sussex Spaniel
Honorable and faithful wife of Lord Eddard Stark and mother to the Stark children.
Wise, calm under pressure, protective of family, and you know would give the best advice if they could talk.
Jon Snow is a Husky
Bastard son of Eddard Stark by an unknown mother, now serving on the Night’s Watch. Total stud.
Just wants to fit in but will lead and fight back if necessary. Protective of those they care about; can be stubborn to a fault. Athletic, would love nothing better than to run with the familial pack.
Petyr Baelish is a Shiba Inu
Conniving master of coin, and member of the council for the king.
Very clever and sly, will do just about anything for a treat. Squirrels treats and toys away and you’ll never, ever be able to find them—that’s because they’re smarter than you are. You think you’re training them, but they’re actually training you.
Arya Stark is a Miniature Pinscher
Youngest daughter of Eddard Stark and Catelyn Tully. Tomboy more interested in sword fighting than in needlepoint.
Loves the outdoors and always seeking adventure. Assertive, outgoing, and independent. Loves to escape.
Sansa Stark is a Puggle
Spoiled eldest daughter of Lord Eddard Stark and Lady Catelyn Tully, betrothed to King Joffrey. Longs for a life of courtly romance.
Classic lap dog. Loves to be waited on and wants to live a life of extreme comfort. Attention-craving, and can become sullen when not completely coddled.
Joffrey Baratheon is a Chow Chow
Elder son of King Robert Baratheon and Queen Cersei Lannister, now serving as king. Total twerp, we don’t like him.
Authoritative, and loyal to one person. Shows teeth easily so tread lightly. If not given proper guidance and leadership, can be jealous, irritable, and obstinate.
Daenerys Targaryen is a Pit Bull
Only daughter of Aerys II Targaryen and Rhaella Targaryen, living in exile among the Dothraki. Pretty much a beautiful badass who loves being naked.
Good leader, loyal and kind, great with dragons/kids, will fight for those they care about. Can easily be taken advantage of because they’re very trusting.
All photoshop manipulations courtesy the talented Audrey Fukuman.