February 8th 2005 4:02 am
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Well last time I left you with tales of my great bleach conquest. Since then I've conquored new evils. You see, my parents have 3 human kids as well. The oldest is something they call a teenager. It seems teenagers get a thing called acne and as a reward they get to take these yummy pills.

Well day after day I see him just pop these things into his mouth, and not even once has he shared with me. No matter what I do, the sad face, the wimper, the standing up on my hind legs, even the licking of the hand......hey, I m a Boxer....... I LOVE to eat. I love to eat any and everything. Show me some love kid. When I do cute things, feed me.

After weeks and weeks of being left out I decide to take matters into my own hands. After the kid pops his pills, he naively leaves these treats on the countertop. Countertop???!!!! Are you kidding me?? Kid, I surf countertops taller than this with my eyes closed!!! So as soon as the coast is clear I nonchalantely hop up and claim the prize as my own. It only takes seconds to chew the lid off and and all the delicious treats are mine....ALL mine!!

Just as I'm finsihing up my well earned reward mom walks in and FREAKS!!! Man mom, get off a boxers back would ya??? She calls dad at work to tell on me. (not cool, not cool at all) He tells her to call poison control who informs mom that the antibiotic I ate can cause kidney failure in dogs. So mom rushes me out of the house to the VET (god I hate the VET, everytime I go there somebody sticks something in my butt) On the way there I start to not feel so good, maybe those treats weren't such a good idea! Once we do get their they feed my something that makes me thow up. Now this is gross but they looked through my vomit and discovered 28 pills, 4 plastic candy wrappers, 2 rubberbands and a penny. You Know, typical stuff! THen they make me drink this thick black charcoal, which isn't half bad, but it made my poop black for days.

Well needless to say, I'll leave the kids treats alone (for now) Its just not worth the hassel. Hey I wonder what they find in the kids stomach evertime he eats those things?