November 18th 2010 3:36 am
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The last few weeks have been the worst. Noone likes to watch a loved one die or suffer.
I sat for many hours each day , thinking of the good times, the bad times, the loving times, and the most important times growing up with my mom. I understood each phase of my life. I understood what it was to love, to loose, to care, to not understand at times, and what it was to have a family. I still don't understand how there could be hate in families, but there is such a thing. What I find comfort in that my mom does not have to suffer any more.
Dieta's favorite place is not on the bed but the night that I got the bad news, she laid tight to my leg and her soulful eyes stared. My heart slowed and I was lost in my thoughts. I laid my arm on my dogs fuzzy neck and thought even though I can't talk to my dog and tell her what is going on, she already knows.
What a special dog I have to know that in the times I need her and I am alone she is there.
This was a very hard week. But, I will never forget that feeling every day for all these weeks. It felt like someone had their hand around my heart squeezing the life out of it. Everyday seemed like the same day. I held tight to my bible I would read it for countless hours. It gave me a sense of peace and it gave me something to hold onto. I begged God to have mercy on my mom's soul and release her into a world of freedom and joy. I know now my mom is running and laughing free of suffering.
I want to thank each and every dogster family person I have. There are so many wonderful people on dogster. When my life is full of pain or hurt I can come to dogster and find people to talk to , to ease my mind of things that might seem unbareable.
I love you back.