July 16th 2012 9:01 am
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Pupses!! My weekend wuz cwazee an' NUTZO bizzy an'' it r nod eben ober yet!
Dadda r nod at werk dis day an' we r goin' NOD FWIMMIN' at my Gwamma an' Gwampa's howse, 'cept Gwamma r nod dere cuz hur r in da hossible :( Dem r wunnin' a bunch ob tests an' junk tu twy tu figur' out whut da heck r wong wif hur.
Aftur we finish 'nod fwimmin', Momma an' Dadda r gonna du tag-teem bisitin' (cuz dem neber weave me awone in da car AN' it r stoopid hod here)tu see Gwamma an' take hur sum fwowers or a Bodka Dwip™ or sumfing :D
I stayed at Bob's howse on Sadurday cuz Momma an' Dadda habbed tu go tu a weddin' which wuz held owtside at a winery on a BERY hot an' humid day. Momma sez dat when hur finks back on dat day, hur will nod fink 'bout da beeyooful bwide or da 'dorable fwowergurl or da 'licious champayne. Nope. Hur r onwy gonna wemembur da GABILLYUNS an' TWAZILLYUNS ob flies dat wuz eberywhere, speshully unner da big tent when dem wuz eatin'...cuz yu kno' how flies wuff a gud meel, wite?? Momma used da werd 'disgustin' tu descwibe it. Ewwwwwwwwwwww. Dem cooda used a bunch ob us pupses tu wook aftur dose fwies. I r weelly gud at chasin' dem an' sumtimes I eben catch dem :D
I habbed fun stayin' ober at Bob's howse, bud dere wuz 6 Westie pubbies whu I wuz TWYIN' tu twain, bud dem did NOD hab dere wissenin' ears on an' all dem wanted tu du wuz mess 'wound an' chase me, Zaidie :O Dem did nod unnerstan dat yu r nod 'spposed tu chase yur teechur. Nexx time I r dere, in a coupla weeks, I r takin' all yu pupses wif me tu helb contwol dose bad lil' pubbies, 'kay??
It r woadtwip time now!! Hab a pawsum day, eberypup! ConDOGumatayshuns tu Hershey an' Fizzy an' Cleo an' Demon Fwash Bandit!! All ob dem r DDPs dis day!! WOO-HOO :D
July 19th 2012 9:20 am
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*Zaidie's Momma knocks on the bathroom door*
"Zaidie, are you in there??"
"What are you doing, HunBun?"
"Uh, nuffin! Whut yu r duin' out dere, Momma?"
"Zaidie Levi Gee, answer my question. I hear splashing. What are you doing??!"
"OMD. Chill out, woman. I r wewaxin' in a bery soofin' baff wif wabender baff salts."
"I hear voices. Who's in there with you??"
"I r uzin' one ob da CDs yu uze fur wewaxin'. *stifled giggle* I figureded dat since dem werk so well fur yu (BOLBOLBOL :D) dat I shood twy one. Dis mornin' hab beened bery stwessful fur me, Zaidie."
"And just HOW was your morning stressful, dare I ask??"
"Yu did nod wub my belly tu wake me up wike yu uzuawwy du *pout*"
"I'm very sorry, HunBun, but it's roadtrip day and I'm busy getting ready. Dadda will be home soon, so could you finish up in there?? Oh, by the way, you're a DDP over on Dogster today AND there are hotdogs in the gift shop now, too!"
"WOO-HOO!! Fanks, Momma! I be wite out :D"
August 1st 2012 5:44 pm
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Pupses!! It r me, Zaidie, comin' tu yu wive fwum Bob's howse where I r suwwounded by a bunch ob nutzo Westie pubbies whu du NOD hab dere wissenin' ears 'ttached tu dere LWD heads! HELB!!
I r here now cuz Momma an' Dadda r fwyin' tu MN, nod dis day, bud nexx day! My Auntie S whu r Momma's sistur an' whu r da Mom ob my bestest kidses r geddin' mawwied tu a guy whu r named Eddie! Him r a bery nice man. I meeted him durin' wast summer's MEATZ™ an' Gweetz Tour, 2011.' Wememmer dat abbenchur?? It wuz BIG FUN :D
Anyfur, Bob an' me, Zaidie, will be hedin' ober tu our homewand ob Scotwand on our bikes. It r almost dat time ob yeer 'gain - da Harbest ob da Haggis! Yu kno' it, pupses! Da haggis twees r gwoanin' unner da weight ob all dose bags ob haggis, hangin' fwum dere bwanches. It r time tu 'Hack Da Haggis, 2012™'. It r a huge festibal in dose West Highwands! Dere r wotza pawades an' pawties an' dances wif fousands ob pupses an' peepoles wearin' dere kilts an' eatin' haggis 'til dere tummies r so filled dat dere r haggis 'sploshuns all ober da pwace an' it r a HUGE, bery fun mess :D Den dere r all kindza borin' speeches an' junk, bud da bestest part r bein' back in our homewand.*sob*
Afore we weturn tu Canada on our bikes, we pwan tu bisit da site ob my birf - yu kno', dat lil' spot unner da most famus haggis twee in da hole werld! Dere we r also gonna chek on da pwogwess ob da all-nu 'Haggis Twee Hilton', bein' builded wite 'side da pwace ob my birf, bwingin' peepoles an' pupses fwum all ober da werld tugefur in peece an' harmony an' haggis! *sob*
Cuz I still need tu pack an' cuz I r geddin' all berkwempt an' 'mo-shu-nal, I need sign off now, bud I be back soon. Keep kewl, pupses, WAY kewl :D An' make shur dat da haggis yu r eatin' r 'Z-Pup Haggis™', da bestest stuff on Earf ♥
P.S. Fur dose ob yu whu hab nod yet noticed, da wayer cakes in da Dogster Giff Shop™ r FWEE dis day an' dis day onwy!! Yep, I sed FWEE! Dat meens dem cost $0,000,000 an'/or 0,000,000,000 zeawies!! Send cakes tu yur fwiends an' make nu fwiends wif CAKE :D
August 4th 2012 8:04 am
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Pupses!! It r me, Zaidie, comin' tu yu WIVE fwum a bike twail somewherz in da 'Wantik O-Shun! Bob an' me r more dan halfway tu da homewand. Dis bike twail r PAWSUM! Wite now we r takin' a lil' bweak fur, yu kno'...bud soon we r gonna jump back ontu our bikes an' ged goin'. Da 'Hack da Haggis, 2012' Festibal r startin' later dis day! Da big nues dis yeer r da intwoduckshun ob 'Haggis-On-A-Stik™' in da fudz pabillion. It r a portable an' oh-so-tastee tweet!
Anyfur, Bob r finished -pwibacy, pweeze-, finawwy! BOL! "Hey, Bob! Whut r dat ahind yu??...OMD. Bob, yu hab toiwet paper 'ttached tu yur shoe!!!" BOLBOL :D Yu heer 'bout dat habbenin', bud until yu actuawwy see it wif yur own eyes, it duz nod seem all dat funny :D BOLBOL! RFBMBO!!!
BOB! Turn down yur Scotch Dwip™! Yu r wobblin' all ober da bike twail!! Oy bey. It r a gud fing I r here. *LWD eye roll* Tawk wif yu 'gain soon, my fwiends! I wuff all ob yu an' wish yu cood be here wif us ♥ BOB! Da pin camed off yur kilt! No one needs see dat, dood!!!
August 9th 2012 8:28 am
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Pupses!! I r back fwum da 'Hack da Haggis 2012 Festibal'™! Can yu say BIG F-U-N?? I r gonna tell yu 'bout it, bud wite now I r nod feewin' tu gud. In fak, I hab nod beened feewin' gud eber since I getted back fwum da homewand. Mabbe I eated sum bad haggis or sumfing.
Momma wants me tu go tu da bet NOW. Dadda r finkin' eberyfing r gonna be fine an' wants tu wate. Momma r angwy an' upset an' weally tired fwum hur twip tu MN which r nod helpin' one bit. Dis r also woadtwip day. Oy bey.
DU NOD send wosettes! I r gonna be fine. Mostwy I want Momma an' Dadda tu stop bein' angwy an' yellin' cuz it hurts my LWD ears. Dem neber yell, so I kno' dere r sumfing wong.
I did nod want yu pupses tu fink I hab 'bandoned Dogster, so I fot I wood dwop in tu say hi. I be back soon. I wuff yu ♥
August 13th 2012 6:37 pm
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It hab beened a bery sad coupla weeks here on Dogster. I fot dat afore I wite sumfing silly in my diawy, I wood post a poem I founded on dose innernetses. I hope it helbs sad hearts feel bedder ♥ ❀ ☀
I'M STILL HERE
Friend, please don’t mourn for me
I’m still here, though you don’t see.
I’m right by your side each night and day
and within your heart I long to stay.
My body is gone but I’m always near.
I’m everything you feel, see or hear.
My spirit is free, but I’ll never depart
as long as you keep me alive in your heart.
I’ll never wander out of your sight-
I’m the brightest star on a summer’s night.
I’ll never be beyond your reach-
I’m the warm moist sand when you’re at the beach.
I’m the colorful leaves when fall comes around
and the pure white snow that blankets the ground.
I’m the beautiful flowers of which you’re so fond,
The clear cool water in a quiet pond.
I’m the first bright blossom you’ll see in the spring,
The first warm raindrop that April will bring.
I’m the first ray of light when the sun starts to shine,
and you’ll see that the face in the moon shine is mine.
When you start thinking there’s no one to love you,
you can talk to through the Lord up above you.
I’ll whisper my answer through the leaves on the trees,
and you’ll feel my presence in the soft summer breeze.
I’m the hot salty tears that flow when you weep
and the beautiful dreams that come while you sleep.
I’m the smile you see on a baby’s face.
Just look for me friend, I’m every place!
August 16th 2012 9:01 am
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Hi, pupses. I r still nod feewin' 100%. Sumtimes I wanna eat an' sumtimes I.DU.NOD. I kno' - I can nod bewiebe it iber. Da med'cine I r takin' tu help cwear up my tummy twubbles r called Metronidazole. Feewin' nod gud AN' eben duin' da urka gurka r offen a side ebbect ob dis stuff. Momma r waitin' tu heer back fwum da bet 'bout weafer I need tu finish all da pills (dem go 'til Monday). We will finish dem if Dogtur Weeze sez I need tu.
In any ebent, I kno' yu pupses r waitin' fur a weel diawy entwy an' nod jus' a pupdate 'bout me an' my LWD tum-tum. It r comin'. I can feel da ideas churnin' 'wound in my LWD hed wite now an' I r finkin' it r time tu call da Pawty Boyz™, Bwake an' Fewix! Hang tuff an' tite an' junk cuz we hab sum cewebwatin' tu du bery soon!! Dis r woadtwip day so I r outta here. Hab a gwate day, my fwiendses :D
August 24th 2012 8:17 pm
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"Zaidie! What on earth is that noise???"
"Whut noize, Momma??"
"THAT noise! Make it stop, please!"
"Oh, dat. Dat r my BwackBerry wingtone, Momma!"
"WHAT?? I can't hear you!! Turn it down NOW!!"
"Bud Momma! I wuff dis song!!!" *Westie struts to a bagpipe rendition of 'Who Let the Dogs Out?' "C'mon an' dance wif me!! :D"
*yells* "NO. Answer your phone. It might be important!"
"'Kay, Momma. Geez....Hewwo. Yu hab weached da Gee wesidence. Zaidie Webi Gee speekin'. How I may helb yu??"
"Z-Pup, dude! It's me, Blake!"
"Bwake! How yu r duin', my fwiend? How wuz yur baycayshun in Benice??"
"Oh, I'm good, little man, and Venice was awesome! Felix broke his leg, falling out of a gondola, but, other than that, we had a blast! What about you? I thought for sure I would have heard from you about your party by now. We've got some planning to do!!"
"Oh, yu kno' it, Bwake. Da summer r almost ober, bud it r nod 'ffishully ober 'til da cops ged called tu Zaidie's pwace cuz ob all da noize compwaints! BOLBOLBOL!!"
"LOLOLOLOL!! Your friend Zoe out of jail yet?? That was *some* show she put on last year!!"
"O.M.D. BOLBOLBOL!! Yeah, whu wooda fot dat a nice gurlpup fwum Idunno wood steel a cop car an' go fru da dwibe-fru at PetSmart??? An' dem du nod eben hab a dwibe-fru at PetSmart :D BOLBOLBOL!! Hur r outta jail, bud hur r gonna be on pwobayshun fur yeerz!"
"LOLOLOLOLOL!! So, Zaidie...your party. What's the theme this year or do I really need to ask?? How many MEATZ™ stations will we need to set up this year?"
"Um, pardon me, Zaidie? None???"
"Dat r whut I sed, Bwake. Dis yeer we r goin' began."
*End of Part 1*
P.S. I r goin' tu my bestest beech nexx day, pupses!! I will be shur tu du pwenty ob 'NOD FWIMMIN' jus' fur yu :D
August 28th 2012 9:45 am
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Well, wood yu wookit dat! I r a DDP dis day an' awweady my fwidge r fillin' up wif MEATZ™ fwum my fwiends! Yu fink dem r twyin' tu tell me sumfing?? BOLBOL :D Anyfur, Part 2 r comin' soon. I pwomise ♥
We wented tu my bestest beech on da weekend. Doe I hab pwanned tu go NOD FWIMMIN', I wuz twicked intu goin' FWIMMIN', tu. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr...Da water webel in my Wake Huron r bery wow (Now wemember - in Zaidiespeak L sounds wike W). Da beech wuz bery wide an' da sandbars wuz outta da water. Dadda fot I wood wike tu walk on a sandbar, bud tu ged tu an' fwum da sandbar, I needed fwim. Momma sawed my diwemna an' hur cawwied me twenny miles ober tu da sand bar (Momma: Actually it was more like ten feet, but you know Zaidie and numbers! LOL)
Yeah, whuteber, Momma...It wuz kewl tu walk on da sandbar cuz fwum a distance it wooked wike I wuz walkin' on water an' sum pupses wuz sayin',"Hey, wookit dat way kewl pup ober dere walkin' on water! I wunner how him duz it. Him must be majik or sumfing!" Den I wanted OFF da sandbar an' I wanted tu go back tu our spot on my bestest beech an' wewax witch wuz da hole weasun fur goin' tu my bestest beech in da furst pwace. Did I ged cawwied back tu shore or did I need fwim fur miles an' miles, comin' face tu face wif sharks an' dere H-U-G-E teefs an' jellyfishes stingin' me all ober my cute LWD body?? Yu kno' it, pupses. Da odds wuz nod in my fabour, bud I suckded up my feerz an' fwimmed fur my wife (Wemember dat wule??) I maded it tu shore wif onwy a few bites on my LWD body an' my secwet pocket wuz fwooded out so my BwackBewwy r now goned. It wuz a bery small pwice tu pay fur geddin' out awive. Den we habbed wunch an' I tasted Dadda's chiggen afore him gibbed me my own :D
I meeted sum pupses an' sum peepoles, tu. Sum wadies wuz oooohin' an' awwwwin' at my LWD cuteness, bud I 'gnored dem, jus' wike I 'gnore Momma or Dadda when dem say,"Zaidie, NO!!" or "Zaidie, COME!!" or "Zaidie, DROP IT!!" Sumtimes Momma wunners if I r habbin' twubble heerin'. Den, cuz I can heer da smell (yup, weally) ob cheeze when it comes outta da fwidge, hur knows dere r nuffin wong wif my 'dorable LWD ears :D
I gotta go now, pupses. I hab a big pawty tu pwan! Hope yu all wike chickpeas an' wentils :D BOLBOLBOL!!
September 1st 2012 6:25 pm
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"Zaidie! I thought I told you to change your ring tone! Those bagpipes are hurting my ears!"
"Bud Momma! Bagpipes r part ob my hewitage, jus' wike haggis an' scotch! Oh, by da way, my nu kilt r pwessed an' weady tu go??"
"Yes, it's ready. Answer your phone NOW!"
"Howy cwap, Momma...Dis r Zaidie speekin'. Whu yu r, pweeze?"
"Z-Pup! It's Blake. I think we're ready for your party, but attendance is way down, dude. Your friends just aren't into this whole vegan theme you've chosen this year. No one's RSVP-ed yet."
"No pup hab RSBPEED?? Whut da woof r go on?? Well, dem r gonna miss da pawty ob da yeer, nod tu menshun da taxidermy show an'.."
"There's only one entry for that and it's your squirrel!"
"Hmmm...HEY! Dat meens I win, wite?? YAAAAAAAY :D"
"Well, yes, you win, I guess, but I'm more concerned with attendance, Zaidie. If no one's coming, should we even bother to set up the food stations and the vendors booths?? We've got an entire warehouse filled with vegan food and no one to eat it."
"I r gonna eat it, Bwake. Anyfing began r tastee. In fak, Began r my middle name!"
"I thought it was Levi."
"Oh, no. I changed it. Pweeze du nod tell my Momma, doe, 'kay?? We need tu set up fur da pawty, Bwake. Mabbe my fwiends r jus' so bizzy dem furgedded tu RSBPEE. Dem will come. I hab fayf in dem."
"Okay, Z-Pup. If you're wrong you're going to have 3 tons of leftover vegan delicacies to eat."
"Dat r okay, Bwake. Began stuff r 'licious! R Fewix gonna be dere wif yu nexx day?"
"No, he can't wear pants yet, so he's housebound for now."
"I cood wend him a kilt!! See yu, Bwake!"
~ End of Part 2 ~
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