December 5th 2011 9:41 am
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*Zaidie looks out over the crowd of pups and sees nothing but wagging tails, pink tongues and doggie ears - some pointed, some floppy, some a bit of both. It makes him smile*
tap tap tap..."Dis fing r on?? Yu pupses can heer me?"
*more wagging and paws-up from the crowd*
"'kay. I wood wike tu fank all ob yu fur bein' here dis day. Many ob yu twabelled frew da nite tu ged here an' we 'ppweshiate dat bery much.
Da Monster Twuck Show an' MEATZ™ fest at Zoe's howse in Idunno wuz a huge sukcess. Mister an' Missus Zoe r kinda fweekded out 'bout dere gwass an' da twees dat wuz wunned ober by da twuckses an' by da bery big hole in da side ob dere howse, bud dem can ged ober it :D
Dat r whut habbens when yu bild a howse wite where sum pupses mite hab a Monster Truck Show sumday! Dat r a chance dem wuz all tu willin' tu take an' wook whut habbened! BOL
Anyfur, we r here in fwont ob Dogster HQ tu pwotest da wack ob MEATZ™ in da Giff Shop. R MEATZ™ a seasonal fing onwy, pupses?? Du we onwy want MEATZ™ at Chwissmus or da Easfur or when it r our Gotcha Day or Birfday or Toosday??? Ob corse nod! We want MEATZ™ ALL DA TIME an' ANYTIME we feel wike it! Whu r HQ tu nod wet us hab 'xactwy whut we want??
*a low growling starts and slowly builds until every dog is barking like a lunatic, frantic in the hope that his/her voice be heard*
"We want MEATZ™ and we want it now and we want to have it whenever we feel like having it, even if it's just another Tuesday!!"
"Wow! Yu pupses catch on FASS! Pawsum! Now we need chooz one bery nice an' powite pup whu habs way tu many manners an' junk, bud in dis case it cood helb WOTZ. Whu we shood chooz, pupses??"
"You, LWD, YOU!!!"
"Me?? Why me, Zaidie? I r nod powite. Wissen tu dis! &^%$%$#$ an'%$#$@ an' den I fink &@#@$ %$!!!"
*comments from the crowd* "Wow. I'm glad his Momma didn't hear him say all that nasty stuff. Her heart would be broken :( "
"Hey, anypup got some soap? That LWD's mouth needs to be washed out!"
"Holy crap, Z-Pup! You give kisses to your Momma with that mouth??"
"See, pupses? I r nod dat powite! It r all smoke an' mirrors! :D
Hey, whu dat guy r?...Hey, mistur! Whut yu r duin' here? We r habbin' a pwibate doggie demonstwashun here. No peepoles 'llowed.
Ged goin'or I r gonna send da SSP (Schnauzie Secuwity Patwol) aftur yu an' contwawy tu whut yu hab heered, dem r NOD all bark an' no bite. Dem du bite :D Anyfur, ged outta heer."
"But wait, LWD. I'm Ted Rheingold the Dogster guy! I started Dogster years and years ago!"
"Afore da dinosores, Mistur??"
"Yes, Zaidie. Even before the dinosaurs. Anyway, we heard about your little demonstration and..."
"Ted! It r nod liddle! Wookit dis pwace - pupses as far as da eye can see an' eben furfer if yu make yur eyeses weel tiny by du dis *squints*
"Unfortunately, there is nothing us Dogster people can do about the Gift Shop issue."
"Oh, Ted. It r nod jus' a tisshoo, my fwiend. It r one ob dose debaucle-fings. Weally messded up."
"I know, Z-Pup. The Gift Shop is controlled by the FBI. We have no access to it and we apologize for the meat oversight. Because of that, we are offering each one of you a decade-long membership in the MEATZ™ of the Day Club. Everyday for the next ten years, you will receive a freezer filled with whatever MEATZ™ is being featured on their website homepage that day. How does that sound, pups??"
"Okay. I'll take that as a Yes! Thanks for your patience and for your loyalty to the best and safest place on earth for dogs - Dogster!"
*Ted walks towards the front entrance at HQ, looks back at the piles of overwhelmed pups and smiles*
December 9th 2011 6:59 am
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OMDOMDOMDOMD...I r SO 'cited dat my cute LWD pawses r shakin' as I tipe dis. &h#dyzu@xgdg See whut I r meenin'? I r makin' 'steaks all ober da pwace :D Ged it? steaks, misteaks BOLBOL
Bud finawwy, we hab MEATZ™ in da Dogster Giff Shop!! *stops and listens to the sound of millions of dogs all over the world, barking in unison :"We did it! WE DID IT! MEATZ™ is back where it belongs. Thank you for listening to us, Dogster!"*
I wood wike tu fank da 'cademy an' all dose lil' pupses whu helbed make dis...Oooops, wong speech. *shuffles papers, stuffs a pile into his secret pocket* Oh, here it r. Fank yu, Dogster pupses. Yes, fank yu fur perseberin' an' seein' da campayne fru tu da end witch wesulted in a H-U-G-E bictory, nod onwy fur us, bud fur pupses all ober da werld an' dem r also 'cluded in da 'MEATZ™ ob da Day Cwub. Whu knowed, wite???
If yu see a pup on da stweet while yu r out walkin' yur peepoles or mabbe yu r jus' out duin' -pwibacy, pweeze- or mabbe yu r on a woad twip an' yu see anuber pup in a car dat r passin' yu an 'dat makeses yu bery mad cuz yu kno' yur Dadda r da bestest dwiber eber, bud yu wet dat go an' yu tell him 'bout da MEATZ™™ ob da Day Cwub an' da nu fweezer eberyday witch ALL our peepoles r gonna wuff, I r shur an' if yu r in one ob da bery few stores dat 'llow us pupses tu gwace dem wif our pwesense an' yu see a tiny nu lil' pubby guy an' him r bery skeerded ob yu cuz yu r SO big an' tuff-wookin' an' yu wift yur back weft weg tu show him how du dat an' den him sez, "Wow. Fanks. I wuz wunnerin' how du dat, mistur", dis r da obbortoonity tu tell him 'bout da MEATZ™ ob da Day Cwub.
It cood nod be more perfek! So yu say tu da tiny, nu lil' pubby guy :"Hab yu heered 'bout da MEATZ™ ob da Day Cwub yet or wuz yu jus' borned?" an' him sez, "I wuz jus' borned, mistur, bud my furst fweezer awwibed nod dis day, bud da day afore dis day. Fank yu, LWD. Anyfur, I wuz geddin' da MEAT™ ob da Day Cwub Nueswetter while I wuz in my Momma's tummy, so I awweady knowed 'bout it." So yu r a lil' bid 'bawwassed, bud yu suk it up an' benture forf tu find da nexx pup whu needs kno' 'bout da hole MEATZ™ ob da Day Cwub fing...
An' while yu r walkin' yur peepoles out ob da store, yu see anuber pup goin' in cuz him jus' founded hims fureber fambly an' him needs all kindza nu fings wike a bed an' fudz an' wader bowls an' tweetses an' a gween Kitty Cuz witch r gonna be hims fabouwite toy, eben aftur him kills it ded ober an' ober 'gain an' hims knows it r ded cuz it r nod squeekin' so woud anymore dat hims fambly keeps it in a mistwee pwace an' him r no wonger always wunnerin',"Where da heck r my gween Kitty Cuz??"...
An' him needs a speshul bwankie fur when him r a lil' bid chilly an' mabbe eben a lil' bid skeered cuz eberyfing r so nu in hims fureber home wif hims fureber fambly an' yu ged kinda chokeded up, berkwempt, eben, jus' finkin' 'bout it, bud, 'gain, yu suk it up an' tell da guy 'bout da hole MEATZ™ ob da Day Cwub an' hims geds SO 'cited dat him -pwibacy, pweezes- all ober yur fwont weft paw an' if yu r a LWD, yu now hab one yewwow paw an' den..."
"Uh, HunBun? Do you want to go for a walk today?"
"Well, ob corse, Momma! Dere r 'bout 1/1,000 ob a inch ob snows out dere an' I need sharben my snowpwowin' skills."
"Well, I'd like to go TODAY, so could you please wrap up your diary entry?"
"'kay, Momma. We r walkin' past da Chiggen Sammich Memowial Site where I almost eated a hole chiggen sammich one day, bud yu seed me an' whippded it out ob my cute LWD mouf? We can go dat way, pweeze?"
"Okay, but let's get going."
So, pupses, I r hedin' out on a huge an' bery dangewous weconnaissance misshun fur da RCMP which meens da Woyal Canadian Mounted Powice. Dem need me 'GAIN, if yu can bewiebe it! Sumfing 'bout sum bery bad pup an' hims fambly cwossin' da border intu Canada wif sum contwabanded fudz cuz dem wuz....
December 10th 2011 8:18 pm
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Nun ob yu pupses r eber gonna bewiebe dis bud bwace yurselbes cuz here it r :
Dis day, wite now, r my fird Dogsterbersary!!
Momma jus' checkded cuz hur fot it wuz da twelf, bud dis time, hur memwy did nod werk tu gud! BOLBOL :D
Free yeers 'go, on dis bery day, a tiny lil' wee pubby guy, nameded Zaidie, wuz messin' wound on dose innernetses, shoppin' fur WEALLY WOUD squeeky toyz! Hims motto r : if yur earses du nod bweed, it r nod woud 'nuff :D
Dem need make peepoles scweem an' hold dere earses an' go tu da audiowogist fur a heerin' test.
Den da audiowogist sez :"Whut da heck yu hab beened duin' wif yur earses?"
Den da peepoles sez :"My LWD habs WEALLY WOUD toyz, speshully da ones callded 'CUZ'. Hims habs a gween Kitty Cuz, a wed Debil Cuz, a gween Gud Guy Cuz, a gween Dino Cuz an' a huge Fwoggy Cuz dat Izzy (♥), Bacon an' Beanie gibbed tu Zaidie's Momma tu take home tu him."
"Well, dat r 'splainin' eberyfing! Ob corse yu can nod heer nuffin. Dem r CUZ toyz. Whut yu r 'spectin', wady? Ged outta here, afore I call da powice. Da NERBE ob sum peepoles. Oy Bey."
Anyway, here r a song I wited, jus' fur dis day. Pweeze wissen tu it at yur weisure an' be shur tu take adbantage ob da wunnerful 'Awound da Werld wif MEATZ™' buffet dat r setted up in da main wobby. No bowls - jus' EAT MEATZ™!
Habby Dogsterbersary tu LWD me!
Habby Dogsterbersary, nummer fwee!
Habby Annibersary, da Giff Shop MEATZ™ r back!
Habby Annibersary tu me, Zaidie Webi Gee :D
December 13th 2011 3:14 pm
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I 'powogize fur takin' so wong tu ged back an' finish da story ob how I discubered dis Dogster pwace fwee yeers 'go, while I wuz shoppin' fur Cuz Toys ober on CuzRUs.com. Yu wood nod bewiebe da pawties an' pawades an' cewebwashuns an' bang-kwets dat hab beened goin' on, in honur ob me an' my speshul day. I habbed NO idea dere wuz dat much MEATZ™ in da werld.
Anyfur, while I wuz messin' 'wound on dose innernetses dat nite, fwee yeers 'go, I thot I cood heer sum barkin' in da distance. I wissened an' wissened an' ebentuawwy dat wunnerful noize gotted wouder an' wouder! Den I started sniffin' cuz I thot I smellded MEATZ™ on da gwill an' da more I sniffded da NUTZO-ier I gotted! Soon I wuz FWANTIC :D Da barkin' an' da heabenwy awoma ob MEATZ™ hab twansformded me intu sum kinda cwazee LWD butchur wifout a job! BOL!
All ob a sudden, a doggy door opended, so I Westie-stwutted my LWD self intu whereber it wuz gonna take me. Dere wuz pupses ob all shapes an' sizes an' bweeds an' 'bilities an' colours an' all dose fings dat *du nod madder one single bid*. Sum pupses wuz nappin'; sum ob dem wuz pwayin' games; sum wuz bizzy witin' stuff on dere 'puters. Uber pupses wuz pewusin' a pupses-onwy kinda store an' dem wuz usin' a nu kind ob moneys callded 'zeewies' tu buy bery speshul giffs fur dere fwiendses an' also fur pupses dem du nod eben kno', bud want tu help feel incwuded in all da Dogster fun ♥
I signded a coupla papers, filled out sum forms - wifout shweddin' anyfing :D An' den I wuz in! An' it wuz da BESTEST DAY EBER!
I hab founded dis Dogster pwace an' I knowed it wuz gonna change my life. It shur did ♥ ❀ ☀™
December 16th 2011 10:07 am
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In my diawy dis day, I r wookin' at Chwissmus fwum a diffwent perspektib. I hab wited a sewies ob hi-koos 'bout da 'nod-so-habby' side ob da seesun. Dem r all wated 'NPNSD' (no pubbies need see dis), so, pweeze, keep dem 'way, 'kay? Dem r tu yung tu be forceded tu face da harsh weawities ob dis werld.
Aftur yu finish weadin', pweeze make yur way tu confewence woom #3, where dere r a 'licious buffay ob tweetses, incwudin' da pawsum 'Bwissfuwwy Bacon' tweetses' fwum Chance an' Destiny's onwine store, www.apawfectdog.com. My Pawfect Dog tweetses cameded fwum my gud fwiend Zoe in Idunno! A Pawfect Dog duz nod ship tu Canada. Mabbe sumday dem will!
~ Hi-koos 'bout Chwissmus - it r nod all habby an' junk ~
Chwissmus makes me sad;
Nod 'nuff MEATZ™ in da hole werld.
Sum pupses hab nun.
Chwissmus makes me sad;
No time fur habbin' fun an'
Da tears stain my furs.
Dere shood be no tears
At Chwissmus; jus' wuff an' stuff.
Lick da sads away.
Yu mite be sumwhut berkwempt aftur weadin' all dat 'moshunal stuff. If yu need a outwet fur yur feewings an' junk, at da exit ob dis odditowium, yu will find sum papers an' tisshoos an' speshul documentses tu shwed. We hope dat will helb. ♥ ❀ ☀ ☃ ♫™
December 24th 2011 9:23 am
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Whut da heck r go on here? I staid up ALL nite wong tu see Santa an' say, "Hi, Santa! Yu bwing me da skwerl fambly I askded fur??" Him neber cameded.
My stockin' r hanged. I weabed out sum ob my tweetses fur him an' I mixded up a nice martini jus' da way him wikes dem, bery dwy. An' him did nod eben show up. Cwap. Whut now?
I added a hole wing tu my cwubhowse fur da skwerl fambly, a huuge bedwoom wif wotza bunk beds, a gym so dem can keep in shape fur me, dere own chitchen cuz sharin' a chitchen wif me, Zaidie, mite nod be such a gud idea. BOL. I growed a fowest ob chesnutz twees in da 'Chesnutz Twee Woom.' Where da heck r Santa an'my skwerl fambly???
"Uh, HunBun. Santa comes tonight."
"Oh. Well, dat 'spwains eberyfing."
I wuz jus' teezin' yu pupses! I knowded him wuz nod comin' 'til dis nite. BOL! Did I fooled all ob yu??? I shur did :D BOL!
*walks away muttering to himself "Wow. Dat wuz cwose. I hope no pup figures out dat I wuz weally confuseded."*
By da way, pupses! Dere r FWEE mistltoze in da giff shop tu gib tu yur fwiendses. No, it r nod MEATZ™, bud it r a bery nice gesstur on da part ob HQ. Can all ob us say fanks tu HQ? Here we go :"Fanks fur da fwee mistltoze in da Dogster Giff Shop. It r nod MEATZ™. It r nod eben a cwose second tu MEATZ™. In fak, most ob us wood waffer ged kitty toyses dan mistletoze, bud I digwess. Fanks, HQ."
December 24th 2011 2:22 pm
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T'wuz da day afore Chwissmus
An' all fru da town
Da peepoles wuz wunnerin'
"Whu r dat cwown??"
Him wuz liddle an' cute
An' him wearded a fweater.
Hims earz, dem stood up
In all kindza weafer.
Him habded a knapsack
'ttachded tu hims back.
Hims toyses an' tweetses
In dere him wood pack.
Him stwutted awong
Spweadin' joy eberywherez
An' handed out koopons
Fur fwee MEATZ™ an' beerz.
Him habded a pocket
Fur tweashurs an' junk.
Him keepded it secwet
Fwum all da stweet punks.
Dem fot him wuz silly
Wif all hims white furs.
Da gurlpups? Dem swoonded.
Dem wuffded hims curls.
Him needed sum moneys
So him went tu da bank.
A wady, hur scweemded,
"Hey, pubby! Ged out!"
Him still needed moneys
Tu buy sum more giffs.
Hims Momma an' Dad
Needed more dan a kiss.
Him finkded 'bout chokwit,
Bud den him fot,"No."
Hims Momma nod eat it
Hims Dadda wood doe.
Him 'cided go shoppin'
At da mall ober dere.
Him takeded a bus
an' him payded hims fare.
Dis liddle white pup
Well, him 'ttwacted a cwowd.
Dem watchded him shoppin'.
Dere waffter wuz WOUD.
Him 'cided tu stop
Fur sum cawfee an' wunch.
Da peepoles, dem scweemded,
"Him r makin' us NUTZ!"
Da cops, dem came ober
An' pawcuffed da pup.
Him cwied an' him barkded.
Dem sed,"Hey! Dat r 'nuff!"
Dem frowded him intu
Dere car parked outside
An' callded hims pawents.
Hims Momma? Hur cwied.
Da liddle white dog,
Him wuz so bery sad.
Sum giffs fur hims pawents
Wuz nod tu be habbed.
Den all ob a sudden
Hims Momma wuz dere!
An' dere wite ahind hur
Hims Dadda. Dem cared!
Dem payded da fine
Fur dere L-W-D.
Den signded sum papers
An' den him wuz fwee!
Dem wented back home
All so habby an' junk.
Bud da pup, him fellded intu
A weally bad funk.
Him sed : "I cood nod go shoppin'
I wuz nod awwowed.
I hab no giffs, nuffin
Fur yu. I r sad."
Dem scoopded him up
An' sat down on da chouch.
Dem kissded an' hugged him
Until him sed ouch!
"We du nod need giffs
Fwum our liddle wee pup.
We hab him heer alwayz,
Our home's filled wif wuff ♥
~ Dis r da end ~
December 27th 2011 7:32 pm
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Dis r me, Zaidie, dwoppin' intu dis Dogster pwace dis day cuz I hab a BERY 'portant job tu du. I need say FANKS tu eberypup an' dere peepoles fur all da WAY kewl cardses you sended tu me an' my fambly.
I hab cardses fwum all ober da pwace an' at da end ob dis week I r gonna webeel da wesults ob 'Chwissmus Card Mayhem, 2011' (cuz I r 'xpectin' tu snag a few cardses dis week when mail dewiberwy starts up 'gain nexx day). No madder whut, doe, I winnded 'gain! WOO-HOO! Dis r da fird yeer in a wow!
I also need say fanks tu all my fwiendses on dis Dogster pwace whu sended me wosettes an' speshul giffs an' bonez an' all kindza gud stuffs, incwudin' da mistletoez! We r dwowndin' in da stuff ober here :D
I finked I wuz gonna be wunned ober by da cwowds ob gurlpups whu camed aftur me wif it! Oy bey! My hole LWD life fwashded afore my eyes, bud it r all gud now :D
I habbed a pawsum Chwissmus an' Gwampa stayded here an' sweeped ober fur a monf or sumfing. Dat r whut Momma sed it feeled wike! I gedded a weel nice wed box ob sumfing, bud I furged whut r it.
"Momma! Whut Santa bwing me 'gain?"
It r a WAY KEWL Nina Ottosson puzzle-fing callded a Tornado an' it r F-U-N! Mabbe I will post a pichur ob it, soon as Momma geds hur ack tugefur. Sum peepole habbed a lil' bit tu much Chwissmus, if yu kno' whut I r meenin' :D
We went tu Gwamma an' Gwampa's howse - dem wive nod-tu-far fwum Riley an' Caileigh! DEN I wuz 'bandonded in dat howse WIF a kitty (hur stayed in da den, bud I knowed hur wuz dere. grrrrrr...) while all ob da peepoles went tu anuber howse tu hab Chwissmus dinner wifout me, Zaidie. :( I wuz nod 'llowed.
I wuz wifout fudz an' water fur a coupla weeks or sumfing an' when dem finawwy camed back tu ged me, I habbed no idea whu dem wuz! So I barkded at dem wike a WUNATIC an' den I heered Momma say,"YAY, it's over!", so I wuz wescueded an' den we dwibeded home an' dat wuz it!
I r wishin' my fwiendses an' dere famblies ALL da bestest fur a bery habby Nu Yearz an' du nod furged dat 2012 r da yeer ob MEATZ™! Pweeze du yur part tu make it da bestest Yeer ob MEATZ™ E-B-E-R!
December 31st 2011 8:51 am
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*ring ring ring ring*
"Hello. You have reached the 'Zaidieville Federal Prison for Really Bad Guys'. How may I help you?"
"Uh, hewwo. I speek wif Bwake da Pawty Pwanner, pweeze?"
*Put-on-hold-music* '♫...I wanna be sedated. Put me in a...♫'
"Happy New Year! and who the heck is calling me on New Year's Eve??? Ever hear of pre-planning, people?"
"Bwake! It r me, Zaidie! I need yur helb!"
"Zeke! Hi and how are you? Still recovering from that EESP™ we threw at the end of the summer? Epic or WHAT?"
"It r Zaidie, Bwake, an' yes, I r still wecuberin'. I gedded in big twubbles wif da 'wentses, tu. Now I r geddin' no 'llowance fur a coupla hours or sumfing."
"Oh, dear....Zay-dee? It's Zaidie, right? How can I help you, LWD?"
"Well, I kno' it r bery wate tu be askin' 'bout dis kinda stuffs, bud yu an' Fewix r 'bailable tu helb me pwan a Nu Yeerz Ebe Pawty? It hab beended a bery tuff yeer fur wotza pupses an' dere peepoles an' I fot it be nice tu hab a small 'ged-tugefur', if yu kno' whut I r meenin', Bwake??"
"Oh, of course, Z-Pup. A 'Get-together'. :D Teenage code for MASSIVE PARTY at your house, ending with street fights, small, containable fires, a broken Ming vase and Police/EMT/Fire Dept on your doorstep."
"Yu kno' it, Bwake!! I knu' I cood count on yu, my fwiend."
"Well, I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, little guy, but I'm in prison doing hard time for an unspeakable act."
"OMD. Bwake. Whut yu did?"
"I went with boot-cut when I should have gone with skinny."
"Wow. Dat r sum nastee stuffs. How wong yu r in dere?"
"I should be out by next Tuesday, just in time for Hot Yoga class! So really, it's all good. I need to remember to be thankful for the little things, right?"
"Dat r da key, Bwake. Bud, CWAP, I weally wanna hab a pawty. Whut Fewix r duin'?"
"Oh, Zaidie. It's much worse for Felix. I'm not sure if I should even tell a young, impressionable pup like yourself. I don't want you making the same mistake."
"OMD. *shudder* I can handle it, Bwake."
"Felix matched his manpurse to his Ferragamo loafers *sob*"
"Zaidie? You okay, little guy???"
"Oy bey, my cute LWD head r achin'. Bud Fewix? Him shood kno' bedder dan dat. Gud gwief."
"So, Zaidiecakes, there will be no party planning for either of us this year. I'm so sorry, Fluff."
"Well, fanks anyfur, Bwake. I habbded no idea yu guyses wuz in pwison. How da fudz r dere? I heer it r sum nastee stuffs."
"OMG. Zaidie, no offense, but a dog wouldn't eat this junk."
"ACK! *gag* Dat pwace weally r hardcore. Well, gud wuck wif da wemainder ob yur sentence, Bwake. Mabbe we du a pawty in da winter jus' cuz, 'kay??"
"Sounds good, Wee Clown Prince of GlenRoslin."
"Hey! How yu kno' my weel name?? Jus' du nod tell anypup or peepoles, 'kay?"
"Your secret is safe with me, LWD."
"Hey! Yu whymeded! BOL! Tawk wif yu soon, Bwake. Pweeze say hewwo tu Fewix fur me, Zaidie, 'kay? An' Habby Nu Yeerz :D"
January 2nd 2012 9:04 am
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"Hey! Whu gibbed me sawad fur my backgwound? Dis r a compwete outwage! Why I otta..."
"I did it, HunBun."
"Momma! Whut yu wuz finkin'?? I r all 'bout da MEATZ™! How I eber gonna wive dis one down? OMD! I can heer da commentses awweady : 'Hey, Z-Pup, dere r sawad on yur pwofile page!' an''Hey, Zaidie, dere r sawad on yur pwofile page!' an' 'Hey, Cakeses, dere r sawad on yur pwofile page!' an' 'Hey, LWD, dere r ...'"
"Isn't it pretty, though?"
"Uh, 'scuse me, Momma, bud, NO, it r nod pwetty. Howy cwap, woman! Yu can weabe it up fur one decade an' dat r it, 'kay?"
"Sure thing, FluffButt :D"
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