September 9th 2012 9:50 am
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"Whu r dere, pweeze?"
"It's Momma, HunBun, with your tea and toast. May I come in?"
"Uh, shur, Momma. Jus' hang on a minit. *pause* 'Kay, come in."
"Here you go, sweetness. This should help calm your little tum-tum...Hey, is that bacon I smell? And chicken?? Where's it coming from???"
"Uh, I dunno, Momma, bud all ob a sudden I r feewin' bery week an' sik an' junk. I need be by myselb fur a few minits, 'kay?"
"No, not okay! I'm not leaving you alone when you're feeling sick enough to cancel this year's 'End of Summer Party and Taxidermy Show'. In fact, I don't believe you're sick after all." *checks under the bed*
"Well, look at what we have here! It's Grampa's George Foreman grill! We were wondering where that ended up. It was down in the den at Grampa's house with all the boxes of stuff for his church's upcoming rummage sale. Then all of a sudden it was missing. Hmmm...I wonder how it ended up here?!? And look! *opens the GF grill* Bacon AND Chicken, grilled to perfection, right here under Zaidie-Pup's bed! Imagine the odds of that happening :D"
"Yeah, jus' 'magine...How dat ged unner dere?? *drooldrooldrool* Momma, I r dwowndin' in pubby spit ober here. I hab a lil' taste ob bacon, pweeze??"
"But what about your sick little tum-tum, Zaidiecakes? Bacon isn't good if you're not feeling well!"
"'Kay, 'kay, 'kay... I conbess! I r nod sik!! Now I hab sum bacon, PWEEZE??"
"No, first I want to know what the heck is going on. You were all excited about your party. You and Blake worked for days, planning everything, confirming numbers, lining up guest speakers and seminars. What happened??"
*sobsobsob* "I weally messed up, Momma. I changed da menu tu began so dere wuz NO MEATZ™ at all, jus' began junk. My fwiends heered 'bout it an' dem all 'cided NOD tu come tu my pawty *sob* So dat r why I r pwetendin' be sik dis day. I r nod sik. I r jus' so bery, bery sad!" *sobsobsob*
"But WHY would you change the menu?? None of your friends are vegan, Zaidie! They're like you - they L.O.V.E. meat! Tofu hotdogs, burgers made out of chickpeas and fake bacon just aren't going to cut it with them! Why'd you do it, HunBun??"
*sob* "I wanted tu see if my fwiends wike me cuz I r Zaidie or cuz I r all 'bout da MEATZ™ an' since nun ob dem r comin' dis day, it meens *sob* dem onwy wike me cuz I feed dem *sob* MEATZ™!" *sobsobsob*
"Oh, SweetPup." *gently lifts Zaidie onto her lap and holds him close, but not too tight because he hates that* "Well, that kind of backfired, didn't it? There, there, little guy." *rocks him gently as he sobs* "Your friends love you because you are Zaidie! Not because you're all about meat! They know you're all about all kinds of things!"
"Wike barkin' at skwerls an' chasin' kitties an' shweddin' up egg cartons an' junk??"
"Yes, that and a million other things, too. You're sweet and funny and you care SO much about everyone! How could anyone not like you??" *kisses him on his LWD head as they walk over to the window to open the shutters* "Well, would you look at that!"
"Whut, Momma? *turns his head to look* "O.M.D. Dere r all my friends!!!! OMDOMDOMDOMD!! All 937 ob dem, here at my house, fur my End ob Summer Pawty!! An' O.M.D., wook at all da fudz boofs - dem r nod began! Dem r MEATZ™ an' cheez an' 'tatoes an' all da fudz us pupses wuff best!!! How dis habben?? Whut da heck r go on, Momma????"
"Well, your sweet friend, Zoe..."
"Yes, Zoe from 'Idunno' called me because she was very worried about you, so we worked with Blake to make this the 'End of Summer Party' of your dreams!"
"An' taxidermy show???
"Yes, the squirrel you found dead on the street and lovingly stuffed and mounted for display in the living room is on exhibit."
"Momma!! No one r 'pposed tu kno I founded dat skwerl! I telled dem I chaseded it an' caughted it myselb!"
"Oh, Zaidie! When are you going to learn that YOU, everyone's favourite LWD, are enough - just you, without meat, without saving lives, without big adventures. You're all anyone needs! I love you, Zaidie-Pup!"
"Momma! Dat r nuff mushy junk! Wet's ged out dere an' pawty wif my fwiends!!"
"All 937 of them??"
"Yup, ebery single one ♥"
~ Dis r da end ~
Zaidie, Zaidie, Zaidie - we love you for you! Not because of the MEATZ! You adorable LWD! Every single one of your furiends love you for you! Never furget that!
Here I am...but just to say hello, and I love you lots...always and furevfur, not fur MEATZ™ , but cause you are YOU! Woofy furry funny YOU! LWD of Canada! yuppers!
Now I gotta go cause growlmy says she has to go and help some of her peeps in that nursing home she works in...
woof at ya later, Kay?!?
Maybe there will be soome MEATZ™ at her workpawlace...BOL!
Ahhhh, Z-man, we alls wove yu bery much, yu are wight, we wove yu because yu r the bestest wittle white dog eber, well, except me ob corse. MEATZ do nod madder. We were coming tu yur pawty eben if no MEATZ be there.
Sum times when yur momma geds wrider bwock hers can take a bwake, We du nod want hers tu fink dat hers habe tu wride sumthing ebery day.
We wove yu Zaidie.
You can't fool us Z, we Knew you didn't go the Dark Side and become Began!
And we love you, just the way you are.
Now, let's get to the pawtyin!
Zoe stuffs a couple of 100% All Beef burgers into her mouth and grabs some Sirloin steaks for her pockets and hollers
Um...Whut yu sed, Zoe???? BOL :D
*Zaidie westie-struts over to the 'World of Bacon' booth and dives headfirst into the warming trough, passes out. Zoe tickles him awake*
"Wet's ged EATIN", pupses :D"
I wouldn't miss your pawty even if it were vegan. I can eat meatz before and after if it were. I came to the pawty to see my pal Zaidie! I love you Zaidie pup!
WHEW! I KNEW you couldn't be vegan! *stuffs his mouth with bacon and hot dogs* Mmmmmmm....
Me and Momma love you bunches and bunches, Z-pup, MEATZ or not!!
Sammie's been a deep funk eber since she heard bout Z-pup go'n began. Dat little pups wants MEATZ™!!!! Plus her want to hang with sum big Dogster pups of the week. I told here all dem would be at yer End of Summer party and Taxidermy Show. Well you done met da little pubbybutt now. She been ober at da Canadian Bacon expo da whole time!!! Ya can't get dat in Troy Oh Hi Oh.
Maybe we can all start a big bark'n contest. Fizzy tuned up fur his momma sum day!!! Dat boy can bark.
Hey,da pigs feet palace is open,we head'n ober there.
Z-pup, what's not to love about you? We love all of the MEATZ booths that you always have set up but even if you decided to cut back on expenses and did away with them, you wouldn't be able to keep this pup away from one of your PARTIES!!!
Now, where's Zoe? I want her to go to PetSmart and get me a big Busy Bone. Maybe this time she can find a Fire truck to drive - BOL, BOL.
See Misty, I told you Zaidie wouldn't go Began!! BOL
Zpup - we love you for your entertainment abilities and not just for the MEATZ™ you generously share. Well, Mr. Cutter probably just likes you for the MEATZ™ all he thinks about is food. BOL
Now let's find out what all that wonderful burned MEATZ™ smell is about.
Well I'm bringing my own MEATZ™. And my treats. And some choc drops. Just in case he changes his mind again (sniff)
Harley D and Sophie Claire roar in on his Harley and quickly unload the buffalo burgers for everyone. Z-pup, you are one in a million LWD and we knew you were funnin us. Sophie Claire picks Zaidie up and gives him a great big Okie smoochie!
You already know I'm not food centered.(Remember you passed out when you found out?) I'm just coming to have fun. Oh, I am squirrel centered. And what an excellent squirrel it is. (DEAD)
I'm here for the MEATZ™ pawty.
First I need to use the Big Dawg tree because it has been a long car ride to get here. BOL
Zaidie, it is true--we love you. LWD, you.
But the MEATZ help, too.
Oh yeah, we love the Z-Pup!!
Let's watch some birds.
(Finley and Whitley pull up in a double semi-tractor trailer refrigerated rig stuffed full of barbequed meatz from Texas)... Hey, HunBun, get us some help to unload all this stuff! We gots brisket, babyback ribs, chicken, tbones, ribeyes, sirloins, jerky, turkey, you name it, we gots it! And we needs some help unloadin' it!
HunBun, we said we needs help unloading it, not eating it all! BOL BOL!
OMD!! What a fun event this is getting to be...Growlmy came home from her work and saw all the MEATZ™ !!
She said they had stuffed peppers as the main course tonight...YUCK! BOL!
While you, Zaidie are more fun than any MEATZ™ could evfur be, having some on hand is so much fun, and social, you know! BOL!!
Well I had a wee snack, and now I gotta go again, growlmy has to work again later...sheesh!
I's so happy youse not sick, Zaidie. I's 'fraid you woulnant have yer pawty. OF COURSE WE LUFFS ZAIDIE!!! Youse so funny an' nice an' lotsa fun--MEATZ are just a bonus.
Ooooooohhhhhh, is this a skwerl you killeded. You did a good job wifa taxidermy stuffs. Do he have a skweeker?
We luv you Zaidie and would be at the party if there were no food at all!!!
Oh, fanks eberypup!!! Now ged in here an' ged eatin' sum MEATZ™ :D
BOLBOLBOL, Lil Bear!! "Do he have a skweeker?" BOLBOL :D Yu maded my Momma WAFF OUT WOUD!! Dis r HUGE, Lil Bear! H-U-G-E!!
C'mon, eberypup! We need helb Finwey an' Whitwey unwoad dere massibe wig filled wif Texas BBQ MEATZ™!! Wet's ged GOIN'!! *dives into the trailer, stuffs his secret pocket with MEATZ™, burns himself and learns a valuable lesson in greed - line secret pocket with heat-resistant material*
Coco Wose! Zoe wost hur wicence fureber, bud we all kno' dat will NOD stop hur!
OMD! WOOK! Hur steeled Finwey an' Whitwey's big huge twuck!! Zoe, watch out fur da...!! Oooops. Tu wate :D Oh well, dose twees wuz onwy gibbin' da skwerls a pwace tu hide! Gud werk, Zoe :D
Sorry Zaidie, I am running a little late. I'm bringen a gopher head fur you to show me how to stuffs. No I didn't catch him, but I claim him anyways!
We all LOVE YOU ZAIDIE LEVI!!!!!
Any hoot I am on the way and bringing my appetite too. Bol!
*All of the pups look up to the sound of loud whirring and see a Black Hawk helicopter overhead. Zoe hollers out at them to stand back from the large X in the center of the area. Boxes begin to drop out of the open door of the helicopter. Some are marked "Coco Rose - one gross of Busy Bones", "Idunno smashed potatoes, loaded with crispy bacon bits and shredded cheese" while others are simply marked Really Tasty Mystery MEATZ™.
After all of the boxes have landed, Zoe begins Fast Roping down a line she drops out. She does a couple of flips and loop-de-loops before landing amidst the stunned, slightly odor-intoxicated pups.*
I sneakied outta the groomer/torture place. I didn't want to miss a single second of Z's End o' Summer Bash!
OH EM DEE!! Zoe, where yu wern how du dat???
Coco Wose!! Yur Bizzy Bones r here!! WOOK, eberypup! 'Tatoes wif cheez AN' bacon an' MYSTWEE MEATZ™?? Oh, Zoe, dis pawty r geddin' bedder by da minit! Wet's dance!!
*starts a Westie Strut conga line to a bagpipe version of 'Get This Party Started'*
Hi, Milton!! C'mon in, gwab sum MEATZ™ an' dance, LWD!!
We love you.. we said we were coming... right at the veryyyyyyyyyy start....
No worries... Daft but lovely LWD !!
Flicka ∆,,∆ Lucas /..| & Pam
After the conga line stops HD goes over to Zpup with a present for him. Sophie and me had these made for you! Zpup opens the box and she 4 little ostrich skin cowboy boots!
Zaidie, me and Whit brought ya this here Texas Squirrel-- to add to your collection of taxied dermed critters! BOL, Finley!
I am back fur a tad of minutes to see if I can find any MEATZ™ leftovers...now that growlmy finally got home from work...
Though actually I came to see you Zaidie!
I saw Schatzi today, my stroll LWD, but she were not furry W today, she were awfurly stinky and yucky, and was covered in doo-doo...when I saw her she had just discovered some delish nonMEATZ&trwade; to0 embellish herself with...OMD!!
Anyways though I diod see a raodkill possum, I brought youa present, too, but not the possom, its a coon...remember the coonie I got rid of in my yard? well...ta-dah:
Another Critter fur Zaidie's Taxidermy Collection...!!
OK, I am outa here cause now that I made my snack plate full, said hello to you and all the other pupses here - WOOFS - now my dogretary said she needs to go and rest her weary bones...OMD, bones, I love to gnaw on bones...BOL!
Great pawrty by the way, Woofs!!
OMD!! Fwicka, dat guy r 'MAZIN'!! Fanks fur findin' him! I r inbitin' him tu my nexx bash!!
Fanks fur da Texan skwerl, Finwey an' Whitwey!! Du dem all wear lil' cowboy hats an' holsters?? BOL :D
HD! Dese boots r beeyooful!! Fanks fur be so fotful! Wookit my nu boots, eberypup!! *trips* Oooops :D
Fweckles! Schatzi r my kinda gurlpup!! Fanks fur da waccoon, my fwiend! My cowweckshun r gwowin' by da minit!
All ob yu W-O-C-K! An' I wuff yu W-O-T-Z!!
Fanks fur all da bones on my page, pupses!! R dem weftober fwum da pawty?? BOL!
You're the funniest LWD I know!! Glad you got extra Momma lovins for all this!!!
OMD, are we too late fur the pawty?! Our pawrents we off playing all weekend and having THEIR fun, and we had to take the bus! We brought the raccoons we promised, though!
Wait...I can still smell MEATZ™ burning! C'mon, Winkie, follow me!!
Pups, you Gotta take a look 'round Zaidie's page! It's covered in lil furry varmints!
Love it, Z!
Fuzzys E_V_E_R_Y_W_H_E_R_E !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I du nod kno how tu send winks wike Whitney do so yu will habe to copy an paste dis bud, I r bwinging yu a stuffed Jackalope fur yur cowection.
Well, darn. Dis wink did nod werk. Sum pup r going to teach momma how tu du it.
Your page is making me NUTZO, Zaidie!
I am gonna get into that 'cwazy' barking mode fur sure! BOL!
Are we late?! We hadda wait for that stoopid Tropical Storm Leslie to pass before we could safely fly out to Ontario!!! It's safe now, and we brought more provisions so the pawrty could go on eben longer!!!! We gots meatz, hotdogs, cheese, fish, and every smelly food we could think of! Da pilot on the plane nearly fainted with all the yummy smells!
Zaidie pup, we love you lots and lots, and if you had a party without meatz, we would STILL come cause we love your company! You and your fambily are very special!!!
Rudy and Izzy (all da way from Newfunderpantsland!)
Zaidie you are the very most loved pup on this big Dogster world! You make us all smile and all you have to do is look at us......We keep barking that your Momma has to write a book about you! She has the best stories we ever read so tell Mom to get busy writing!
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