To my sweet sweet girl Brandi
You just don't know how much I miss you here with me. There is not one day since you left, I don't think of you or something silly you had done.
So your nine years old now and I am sure you are having a great time up there in heaven with all the others that have gone to Rainbow bridge.
Happy Birthday my sweet girl and forever in my heart you will stay with me.
My poem I wrote for you.

MY SWEET BRANDI GIRL

A bundle of fur was given to me
and this bundle had touched my heart.
I couldn't believe that she was all mine,
I'll name her Brandi, that was a start.

As the months went by so fast
and seeing Brandi grow each day.
She was so happy, funny and beautiful
I wouldn't of wanted it any other way.

The months went by, then became years for us
and soon Brandi was 7 years old.
Then that terrible day came for us,
"It's Lymphoma Cancer", we both were told.

My life & Rons life changed that day
it was on August 18, 2005.
I told Ron and we both agreed,
we'll do anything to keep Brandi alive.

So we started Brandi on Chemo treatments
8 months of her in full remission.
Brandi has been such a trooper through this,
Now the cancer's back without permission.

Four times she came out of remission
Four times my heart grew sad.
Then my emotions started to flow inside,
first saddness, anger, now mad.

Mad at the fact we did our best
to give Brandi the best of care.
Now she is gone and has left us,
I'm feeling nothing but sad sad despair.

Brandi was such a beautiful girl
with a gentle soul and a huge heart.
And now she has gone to Rainbow Bridge,
and my heart now is torn apart.

I am so blessed that Brandi was mine
how she always had made us smile.
I know my heart cries for Brandi now,
and my broken heart will hurt for a while.

So My Brandi Girl, you already know
that I'm missing you oh so much.
And the worst time for me is the nighttime,
when I can't hug you and feel your touch.

Touching my arm by hitting your paw
for me to rub your body or your pretty face.
You came into the world with dignity,
and you left this world with such grace.

Until we see each other again
Thank you for giving me 7 years of Joy.
And when I'm sad and think of you girl,
I'll just hug your favorite frisbee toy.

Farewell My Sweet Brandi Girl
Be a star and shine down on me.
Forever in our hearts, forever in our souls
Thats where My Brandi will always be.

I love you so much Brandi
Goodbye my Best Friend
Your Mommy
----------------------------------------------------- ---------------
This poem below was when Brandi came to me and told me about Rootbeer & Mandi

Soft whisper

My best friend spoke to me last night
a soft whisper in my ear.
I woke up and looked around the room,
I was startled, yet I had no fear.

My best friend said that all is fine
Rainbow bridge is so much more.
That there was so much love up there,
even a beautiful ocean shore.

There is fields and fields of green green grass
and the sky has different shades of blue.
There are flowers, mountains, trees and clouds,
everything they said it was, is true.

My best friend whispered in my ear last night
saying "Please don't cry or be sad.
That what was done, had to be done,
for me to live my life now, so be glad".

My best friend said that I did the right thing
an unselfish act on my part.
And that this pain & sadness I feel
will be gone soon from my heart.

I asked my best friend "How could this be
I miss you so much everyday.
That my heart hurts so much for you,
I wish there could of been another way".

My best friend whispered in my ear last night
"You will always be in my heart.
Go on & live and love another,
because we will never really be apart".

My best friend whispered in my ear last night
"it's time for me to go towards the light.
I just wanted to stop & say to you
go on my best friend, I'll be alright.

I carry your unconditional love with me
I have done this from the very start".
I whispered back to my best friend last night,
"I'll always love you with all my heart."

So good-bye my best friend as I looked up at the sky
a shooting star I see in a straight line.
Moving fast across the sky & out of sight,
I whispered,
"Good -bye my best friend, now, I'll be fine".
By Lanie Blackmon 12/12/06

Mommy needs your help to help others

Hi everyone,

I am so happy to see my mommy doing what she is starting to do to help her heal her heart. Mommy says it's all because of me and I am her inspiration to this book she is putting together now.
I know what my mommy had to do that sad day when we had to say goodbye, was such an unselfish act on my mommy's part, and she put her pain & sadness in her heart aside at that moment and wanted the best for me, even if it wasn't the best for her. Mommy let me go to heaven and be with God.

Sooooooo, my mommy is gathering together stories from pet owners who have loved and then lost a special pet. The stories she has been collecting from so many pet owners, are stories that end with a happy note, meaning the pet owners tells you what it took for them to let go and move on in their life without their best friend by their side.

It has been hard for my mommy to read these touching stories so many people have sent to her, because she reads about their loss and that stirs sadness for my mommy and reminds her to clearly of our last day when we said good bye to one another.

Mommy is doing a good thing from her heart and like she had said so many times since I've been gone. Mommy wished when she was hurting and feeling feelings she could not share or explain to anyone that there was a book like she is going to publish when I left this earth and left her side.
So please share your story of the loss you endured and what it took for you personally to finally get up, pull your self together and move on from your loss, whether it had been getting another pet, something someone said to you, or even having the wonderful experience my mommy had by me returning to earth to see her one last time and lead her to Mandi & Rootbeer at the pound.

God has allowed us angel doggies to fly down in times of great sorrow our dog parents are going through. we don't get to do it that often.
Please email my mommy at
lovemy4goldens@att.net
or leave it here in her mailbox for mommy to read when she comes on to dogster.
Well, gotta fly, (no pun intended there) God is calling for us and we don't keep him waiting.
Bye all and mommy, I love you so much and miss you more, but what you are doing makes me even more prouder to call you my mommy.
I am so proud of you and I am helping you a little each day to go on and I am trying to take that pain away. I know there is a lot left in your heart, but mommy, your doing just fine.
Love from heaven
Angel Brandi
P.S
Happy belated birthday mommy? I heard your prayer to God and did you feel me that day? I came 4 times at different times. You know what I mean, I know you do.
Byeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I see my mommy is getting better with time

Oh, it makes me very happy up here at rainbow bridge to see my mommy smiling again and giving that love she poured onto me, to Rootbeer and Mandi, the 2 she adopted from the shelter where I told her to go.

Mommy is a smart gal and can feel me around her and because she trusted me and loved me, she found Rootbeer and Mandi and now is giving them the loving life and wonderful family I had with them. There isn't a day that goes by where I don't sail down to earth and touch my mommys heart to let her know I love her still. I will never forget the love and joy my family gave me when I was there with them. My sisters too I miss. My Aunt Ginger is still the alpha at home like she was when I was there. Then there's Ally. Not the sharpest crayon in the box, but you can't help but love that jealous golden.

I never knew why she was so jealous of me with mommy. mommy showed all 3 of us the same love. Maybe it is because I rode in the front seat next to mommy every time we went for a ride. I see now Ally has taken that spot and thats okay with me. I am so proud to say my mommy is the best dogmom a dog could ever have. She was so so sad when I left her. They did everything and beyond to help me feel better, but I was tired and wanted to go to rainbow bridge. I am happy here.

There are so many goldens up here that their mommy knows my mommy. There are a lot goldens who have loving mommies like mine. We are all happy here with God and I just wanted to express that to all the other mommies who are sad now because their best friend has left them. Look at my mommy and know that it's okay to love another. It's okay to hurt that we're gone. But don't give up and be sad all the time. Your life is now and you have more love to give another. So go give that love to another like my mommy did and make a doggie who is at the pound as happy as you have made youur angel baby.


Momy, I am so proud of you. You have come a long way since I left and I will love you forever as I know you will and still do love me.
Mommy, remember when I whispered in your ear and you wrote that beautiful poem for me. I am going to put it here again for all to read. It should be in all the mommies hearts and I want to share to share it too.
I love my family so much and miss them more.
Forever your angel, Brandi Girl.

Soft whisper

My best friend spoke to me last night
a soft whisper in my ear.
I woke up and looked around the room,
I was startled, yet I had no fear.

My best friend said that all is fine
Rainbow bridge is so much more.
That there was so much love up there,
even a beautiful ocean shore.

There is fields and fields of green green grass
and the sky has different shades of blue.
There are flowers, mountains, trees and clouds,
everything they said it was, is true.

My best friend whispered in my ear last night
saying "Please don't cry or be sad.
That what was done, had to be done,
for me to live my life now, so be glad".

My best friend said that I did the right thing
an unselfish act on my part.
And that this pain & sadness I feel
will be gone soon from my heart.

I asked my best friend "How could this be
I miss you so much everyday.
That my heart hurts so much for you,
I wish there could of been another way".

My best friend whispered in my ear last night
"You will always be in my heart.
Go on & live and love another,
because we will never really be apart".

My best friend whispered in my ear last night
"it's time for me to go towards the light.
I just wanted to stop & say to you
go on my best friend, I'll be alright.

I carry your unconditional love with me
I have done this from the very start".
I whispered back to my best friend last night,
"I'll always love you with all my heart."

So good-bye my best friend as I looked up at the sky
a shooting star I see in a straight line.
Moving fast across the sky & out of sight,
I whispered,
"Good -bye my best friend, now, I'll be fine".
By Lanie Blackmon 12/12/06

1 Year Anniversary came and went for me

June 12th was the day I had been dreading for a year now. My sweet girl Brandi left me on that day and it was one of the hardest, saddess and worst day of my life. I still miss her so much it hurts but I gotta tell you, that day June 12th 2007 wasn't so bad. You know why?. Brandi was with me all day. I know she was because I could feel her and she kept me from feeling sad, alone, and missing her. I didn't cry at all because everytime I started to when thinking of Brandi, something else stopped me from it. Whether it was the phone ringing, or the gang acting up, something stopped my thought process from starting to cry to what ever it was that diverted my attention and thoughts. Brandi girl, you cease to amaze me even after leaving me. You know how much I miss you right? You see me trying to go on day after day without you right?
You know what you meant to me I know that. Rootbeer is so much like you and it amazes me how he loves me like you use to do. The way he comes to me for me to spoon him like you did. The way when I walk into a room or leave a room, he is right beside me touching my hand with his nose like you used to do to me. The way his eyes look like yours and his love for me is so deep now, just like yours was. Brandi, Thank you for leading me to them. I wouldn't of never done it without your help and thank you for getting out of that bed where I layed for 1 month after you passed away. Thank you for giving me a reason to go on and to stop the sleeping pills and booze which you know silly girl, I never done before. But you know Brandi that my love and hurt after you passed was so unbearable for me, I had no other escape from the real world. Thank you for being in my life for 6 years and teaching me so much about the love of an animal as I have experienced with you my friend. You will always be my #1 gal and I have you right in the middle of my heart where all the others can surround you too and share on the love you have given me to give to others.
You were and still are a remarkable, beautiful, loving golden and I am honored to have been your mommy while you visited this world. I can't wait until we see each other again my friend, so until then, Please come and visit me when I'm down and just let me know your here. OMG!!! I feel you now right at this moment. The goose bumps are on my skin and the feeling of warmth is soaring through me and now has left. Gosh, Brandi I love you so much.
Thank you for coming into my life and loving me like you did.
Your mommy forever. Hugs to you my best friend. here is my poem I wrote for Brandi after she passed away.
But first, here is the link to watch my video I did of brandi and the life she shared with us. It will never be forgotten.
http://www.videovat.com/ug5644/remake-of-brandis -life.aspx

Soft Whisper

by Lanie Blackmon.........................................



Soft whisper

My best friend spoke to me last night
a soft whisper in my ear.
I woke up and looked around the room,
I was startled, yet I had no fear.

My best friend said that all is fine
Rainbow bridge is so much more.
That there was so much love up there,
even a beautiful ocean shore.

There is fields and fields of green green grass
and the sky has different shades of blue.
There are flowers, mountains, trees and clouds,
everything they said it was, is true.

My best friend whispered in my ear last night
saying "Please don't cry or be sad.
That what was done, had to be done,
for me to live my life now, so be glad".

My best friend said that I did the right thing
an unselfish act on my part.
And that this pain & sadness I feel
will be gone soon from my heart.

I asked my best friend "How could this be
I miss you so much everyday.
That my heart hurts so much for you,
I wish there could of been another way".

My best friend whispered in my ear last night
"You will always be in my heart.
Go on & live and love another,
because we will never really be apart".

My best friend whispered in my ear last night
"it's time for me to go towards the light.
I just wanted to stop & say to you
go on my best friend, I'll be alright.

I carry your unconditional love with me
I have done this from the very start".
I whispered back to my best friend last night,
"I'll always love you with all my heart."

So good-bye my best friend as I looked up at the sky
a shooting star I see in a straight line.
Moving fast across the sky & out of sight,
I whispered,
"Good -bye my best friend, now, I'll be fine".
By Lanie Blackmon 12/12/06

Comments would be appreciated by the author, Lanie Blackmon


To Enter your Baby as a Resident of Rainbows Bridge click here

Everything happens for a reason. Mine was confirmed today

Something happened. Wasn't expecting it, but it happened. You know that when Brandi my golden retriever passed away, she was the one who lead me to my 2 additions Mandi & Rootbeer, where I adopted them at the pound. Since I brought them home, Rootbeer reminds me so much of Brandi in everything he does and his mannerisms too.

One of my favorite movies is called "A unfinished life". Robert Redford and Jennifer Lopez, & Morgan Freeman are the stars in this movie which is about accidents and things happening for a reason in our lives. It was on yesterday, and for the 5th time, I sat and watched it.

At the end of this movie, Robert Redford finally had forgiven JL for the accident which killed his son and how JL came back 10 years later with Robert Redfords grand daughter. So at the end of the movie Robert Redford is sitting in front of a cabin with his friend played by Morgan freemman and says to him "My grand daughter told me you had a dream last night. she said you were flying". The friend says "Yes, I was flying so high that I flew to where the sky turns from blue to black.". Robert Redford asks his friend, "Do you think the dead care what we think or do?". His friend says "Oh I believe they do, I believe they do. Everything in our lives happens for a reason my friend". I felt as though it was a message to me regarding Brandi for some reason , and so I looked up at the oil painting Donna my friend from Kentucky gave me of Brandi that's on my wall in my livingroom and started crying and thinking to myself at that second, "what was your reason Brandi?" No sooner did I think that thought as I looked at Brandi's picture, out comes Rootbeer from the back bedroom and comes to me where I am sitting on the couch crying silently, and walks up to me and licks my face and then puts his head on my knee and he looked up at Brandi's picture.
My God, right then and there I knew in my heart again and becasuse this was happening now, just confirmed it all over again for me, that Brandi is really in Rootbeer, and that Brandi lead me to R & M to 1st, save them from being seperated, but also for me to love not 1 golden, but 2 more. I looked up at the picture of Brandi and said out loud, "Brandi you are in Rootbeer aren't you"? and as soon as I said that out loud, then Rootbeer looked at me and snuggled up to me for me to hug him, which I did. The feeling in me at that moment was over whelming to me, along with a feeling of peace finally for my pain of losing Brandi.

I have no doubt in my mind now, even after all the innocents that have happened prior since Brandi died and since Rootbeer and Mandi came here to live with us, that Brandi girl now lives on in Rootbeer. I could feel it once again that warm tingling feeling inside and for Rootbeer to come walking out from the bedroom when he was sound asleep a few minutes earlier, at that exact time I was thinking what was the reason for Brandi dying and him doing what he did, well that was my answer, finally confirmed again..

After that a smile came to my face as I wiped away my tears of saddness and now I feel I can go on and give Rootbeer and his sister Mandi all my love in my heart for them and not hold back any longer like I have been doing. I know Brandi is near now. I know for sure now she is still with us and inside Rootbeer and that makes me feel so good. I mean I wish Brandi was here, but since she isn't, what better way to have her. Yes I guess everything in life does happen for a reason and sometimes it takes a while before you get your answer or realized it has been in front of you all this time but really didn't understand it or believed it..

I am still in deep deep hurt for my Brandi

I can't shake it, I can't forget those last moments with her and how my heart felt like it had a knife in it. I can't stop thinking about if she was in any pain when she left me. I think about the way she touched my nose with her nose before she passed on. I think about her at rainbow bridge and wonder how happy she is there. I think about joining her when my time comes and yes, I think about how that will be for us. I miss Brandi so much, that there has not been a day yet that has gone by that I haven't cried for her for some reason. I look at the 2 new goldens she lead me to and dam, they are so much trouble. I know everything in life happens for a reason. Things just don't happen for no reason. I believe her passing lead me to care for Mandi & Rootbeer because I believe that no one would of kept them together or if they adopted them both, they would of returned them. They are devils from hell. I know that sounds mean, but I have had 3 goldens for 7 years and nothing was even close to these two. I can't believe how good my girls were before Brandi passed. I never seen such hyper, wired up goldens like these 2 and they are so afraid of cars and noises. I mean it's almost been a year having them and I can see a big change in them from the time I first brought them home, but their energy compared to my other 2 I had here already is shocking. Maybe because they are in their teens in human age so who knows. I know I get so upset and ask God what did I do to lose Brandi and get these two, but I have been trying so hard to let it go and love them with all my heart. I feel guilty in doing so though. why?
Brandi, mommy misses you so much that it is just a big hurt here without you in my life. I just read so of the blogs left here I wrote and I am crying now so hard it ain't funny. I can't see ,I need to go now.

10 months have passed

Gosh, it seems like yesterday when my Brandi girll left me to go to rainbow bridge. 10 months .....It still doesn't feel real. I miss her so much that sometimes I can't breathe. I miss Brandi's smell, her loving nature, her warmth, her silliness, and the love she showed me everyday. She was my side kick, my right arm, my best friend. Brandi was the apple of my eye.
One thing that has really helped me was a picture video with music I did of brandi's life. It was my first attempt at movie maker on my computer and it came out okay but I am doing another one of her soon. If you would like to see it, here is the link

http://s102.photobucket.com/albums/m93/Lovemy4golden s/Videos%20of%20all%20kind/?action=view¤t=BrandiLife.flv

you might have to type it in, I don't know how putting a link in a post works here.

My 4 other goldens are so patience with me and my mood swings I have when I am thinking of my girl. Why brandi, I keep asking myself and God that question over and over. I have moved on, not because I wanted too, but because I had too. I would still be in my bed if I hadn't. There isn't 1 day that goes by that I don't think of Brandi and I miss her so very much.
Well, I am off to watch the picture video of Brandi.
Brandi, if you can hear me now,
Mommy loves her little girl so much and wish you were still here with me. Gosh, I never knew it would hurt this much


God Bless all
Lanie
Brandi's mommy

Poem I wrote for Brandi--6 months without her. Poem called- "Soft Whisper"

Soft whisper


My best friend spoke to me last night
a soft whisper in my ear.
I woke up and looked around the room,
I was startled, yet I had no fear.

My best friend said that all is fine
Rainbow bridge is so much more.
That there was so much love up there,
even a beautiful ocean shore.

There is fields and fields of green green grass
and the sky has different shades of blue.
There are flowers, mountains, trees and clouds,
everything they said it was, is true.

My best friend whispered in my ear last night
saying "Please don't cry or be sad.
That what was done, had to be done,
for me to live my life now, so be glad".

My best friend said that I did the right thing
an unselfish act on my part.
And that this pain & sadness I feel
will be gone soon from my heart.

I asked my best friend "How could this be
I miss you so much everyday.
That my heart hurts so much for you,
I wish there could of been another way".

My best friend whispered in my ear last night
"You will always be in my heart.
Go on & live and love another,
because we will never really be apart".

My best friend whispered in my ear last night
"it's time for me to go towards the light.
I just wanted to stop & say to you
go on my best friend, I'll be alright.

I carry your unconditional love with me
I have done this from the very start".
I whispered back to my best friend last night,
"I'll always love you with all my heart."

So good-bye my best friend as I looked up at the sky
a shooting star I see in a straight line.
Moving fast across the sky & out of sight,
I whispered,
"Good -bye my best friend, I'll now be fine".

By Lanie Blackmon 12/12/06
(6 months ago today
In memory of my best friend, Brandi)

I'm a Finalist for "Best in Show"

I have been looking at my mommy from way up here and her smile on her face just makes my wings fludder. I am so happy that she is so proud of me and mommy just can't believe I am entered in the contest and made finalist.

Whatever I have to do to keep that smile on my mommys face is well worth it to me.
I am honored to be in the contest and even more honored to be a finalist. That close up photo of me in the water was one of the best days in my life. My family and mommys best friend Lorrie(she is my best friend too), we all were at Lake Mead in Nevada, going home from Oklahoma, back to California where we belonged and daddy decided to take us all on a big house that floats on water for 4 days and 3 nights. I loved that place. I never wanted to get out of that warm pretty blue water. Mommy got so worried about us 3 girls that she went and bought us girls bright yellow life jackets so we could stay in the water and not get tired. I will tell you the truth, we looked like 3 bees buzzing around the water and around mommy & daddy. One day I was playing with mommy in the water and I was going to get her and she took that photo real quick. When mommy got it back, she was so excited at how clear and beautiful I looked.
She has it hanging in her office where she looks at me everyday.
Who ever has voted for me, I thank you from my angel heart and I know mommy thanks you too. Mommy is beside herself with excitement and can't wait for this to end so she can see if we won.
So please vote for me , and do it because I know mommy hasn't ever won anything and it would make her so very happy. when mommy is happy, well I'm 3 times more happier than her.
I love you pals
Brandi

It's been a bad week for me and thinking of Brandi

I don't understand why this past week was so hard on me and me thinking of Brandi so much. Maybe it's because she will be gone 4 months on Oct 12th and it is drawing near. I keep crying and thinking about how much I miss her and our bond we shared. I think it might have to do to with the 2 new goldens Mandi & Rootie who have been acting out and behaving badly with me and with Ally. I used to have a quiet home and never realized how good my 3 girls were until Brandi passed and I got these 2 new ones from the shelter. They never give me a rest. They are so destructive and so bad and won't stop peeing and pooping in the house. I am at my wits end with them, but I won't give up on them either. I have gone this far with them and so I will carry it through.
I just wish sometimes Brandi never had to go and get cancer. why Brandi?? she never did anyone any harm and I feel like sometimes God punished me by taking her away from me, the one I loved and adored the most. Don't get me wrong, I love all my gang, but with Brandi, she was my best friend. She followed me everywhere and she was always by my side. She used to hang out the window when I would drive around town and people at red lights would tell me what a beautiful girl she was or just smile at her. Her heart was so loving and her nature was so mellow.
Gosh Brandi, mommy misses you oh so much and hate this. I wish you were still her with me. I wish your cancer never came to you. I wish a lot of things, but that's not going to bring you back to me either.
I love you Girl
Mommy