:o(

I miss you so much Nikko. It's almost Christmas and this will be the first time we have spent it without you in 9 whole years! What ever will we do? I'm so sad, when I pulled out all of the Christmas decorations, I pulled out your stocking. I started to cry, desperatley wanting you back home. Dad had to take me in the room so that Jasmine didn't see me crying. After all, you've been gone now for a month and a half and Dad didn't want to upset Jas. I can understand that, but I don't think I'll EVER be healed. I miss you so damn much it hurts! I get a lump in my throat when I think about you, which is quite often. Dad did something with your stocking baby girl..I'm not sure what he did, but he did it to help me. I look at your pictures every day. I made a memorial for you in the living room, with your pictures and your ashes. I have pictures of you on the fridge too..so when I'm in the kitchen I can stare at you while I cook. I miss you. I remember all the years when we put up our Christmas tree, you would lay in your favorite spot...right under neath the bottom branches. You'd lay there so still, as if you were a present. I wish you were there now. I wish you could open up your presens and sniff them out, just like you do every year. Oh how I miss you my Nikko girl. You will forever be missed! I love you baby, Mom

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