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The Miller Memoirs

Coneheads and my Itchy Stitches

Guess what tomorrow is? Come on…I’m waiting…still no guess? Well, I’ll tell you then- tomorrow is freedom day! Freedom from what, you might ask. If you haven’t seen me in the last 2 weeks then you probably don’t know about me looking like Franken-puppy. People may have thought I jumped the gun on Halloween, but the giant line of stitches in my neck are finally about to come out, woohoo!

You see, when I was very small (before Chad and Michele took me home), I must have gotten a little too close and comfortable with a rose or sticker bush. Turns out, whatever thorny bush it was didn’t really appreciate me being all up in its grill. Apparently it expelled one of its thorns that wound up getting stuck on the side of my neck (most likely hidden and trapped by my luscious golden locks), and then eventually got stuck under my skin! The pesky thorn never did find its way out of my neck.

So here we are, over 3 months after it happened and the spot where the thorn went in was still hurting A LOT, until 2 weeks ago when Dr. Hani cut that sucker out! Since I was knocked out harder than Gary Coleman in a celebrity boxing tournament, the doc pulled out 3 stubborn baby teeth, micro-chipped me, and took away my manhood before I even really knew I had it. What an ordeal! Then they had the nerve to stick this stupid plastic cone on my head that kept getting in my way every time I tried to scratch or lick my stitches.

Anyway, Dr. Hani and I have a date tomorrow morning at 9am and I’m looking forward to getting the stitches out and getting the all-clear for the dog park.

Happy tails!
Miller

Making a Splash: The Phelps of Fur

A gray sweater of clouds was hugging the sun so the sand was soft and cool. I could hear the distant pitter-patter of fellow furballs and became more and more anxious as we the topped of the beach entrance. I could see them then; their mud-caked fur with saliva flung over salty snouts and tails wagging furiously. I felt my own bottom start to wiggle as my tail grew more and more out of control. Michele and Kate took FOREVER to drop their pile of stuff and then FINALLY Michele unhooked my collar. I couldn’t contain myself anymore and sprinted to the shoreline into a pack of pups all shapes and sizes. I was happily sniffing away when it happened- the soft edge of a broken wave snuck up behind me and nipped me on the back of my heels. I whipped around to investigate and caught the offending water retreating back into the fold of the massive conglomeration of salty water in front of me. And so started a wonderful game of cat and mouse between me and the waves.

I was tentative at first. “Getting my feet wet” was a whole new ballgame at the beach. Eventually I worked up the nerve to chase Michele into the water and over an oncoming wave. Once I was out there, I found myself in water too deep for me to stand. What did I do? Well the instinct flicked on immediately and I embraced my inner doggy Olympian. You should have seen me out there! My swimming skillz sure puts all those short-legged dogs to shame.

That first swimming adventure was on Friday. I’m already counting the days until Mammoth this weekend for round 2 of my new swimming career. I heard there is a huge lake out there just waiting for a guy like me to show the mountain dogs how we paddle in the city.

Soggy tails,
Miller

Movin' on up! (To a new side of the scale)

That’s right folks, I am officially no longer a “small” dog. Look out all you Napoleon-complex suffering Yorkies and Chihuahuas. I’m a “medium” sized dog now and I’m not taking beef from all you mean little yappers anymore! Go ahead- just try and snap at me. I’ve got some new skills along with my new giant paws. I’ll knock you down with a bear hug and sit on your head if you mess with me. I’m not cowering under Michele and Chad’s legs anymore (well, most of the time).

As for the big dogs out there- I’m starting to warm up to playing with you, even when there is more than one of you big guys (and gals). You should have seen me on my first visit to Dog Park this weekend! I had a whole heard of 70lb+ Huskies frolicking around with me. Only when all that playtime started to catch up with me did I start dashing under the nearest plastic lawn chair to sneak in a couple minute breather before bounding out into the pack for another round.

So you heard it here first- I may be the friendliest dog in town, but I am through with being bullied. That goes for my neighborhood nemesis Deuce, too. If you’re out there Deuce, be warned that you are going to have to fall in love with me sooner or later. I know you’re jealous that I’m the new pup in town, but you had the neighborhood to yourself for two whole months before I moved in so now its time to share. Mark my barks, as soon as I move up to “large” status, we’re going to go from “Frenemies” to “Best Buds” and I won’t settle for anything less.

Medium Miller Out!