my daddy.... thank you for all your support

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October 30th 2010 9:38 pm
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Dear friends
Thank you for all your support… this has been the toughest battle I have yet faced in my life.

I thought that my husband having cancer and literally living in the hospital day in and day out, from chemo therapy to radiation therapy and everything else in between was a lot. But never did I expect to face what I did on oct 19,2010.

My Husband was young and very strong, he had lung cancer stage four … but never did he let it knock him down, he would act like a normal person even though he was sick… his belief was to never let the cancer defeat him.. he was determined to defeat it, even the doctors where amazed by how normal he would act after all the intensive treatment he would have. And he almost did beat it, I strongly believe he would have beat it.

Since he was diagnosed there was a huge improvement, the tumor has shrunk by almost 3cm… it started at 5.6x6 so that was a huge improvement… he also had 2 other ones in the main arteries wrapped around his heart which have also been shrinking. He would have been due to get his whole left lung removed this week, but sadly he did not make it.

You see my husband was a chained smoker…. And that’s what killed him, he was a nicotine addict… even with cancer, he was fighting to quit smoking.. but he couldn’t… he has cut down from 4 packs to almost half of one a day… but still could not quit… the doctors tried all kinds of meds to make him quit, but his body just needed the nicotine…
(I will try to skip all the graphic details for those that are faint of heart)

He died in a matter of 4 minutes, he was having a normal day… and all was well there where no symptoms we had no idea what was awaiting us..

we were so happy and looking forward to his lung operation in the weeks to come, where he suddenly started to cough out blood… and then the blood started to pour out like tap water out of his nose and mouth… and he collapsed as the blood continued to pour and I was panicking and giving him cpr but could not stop the bleeding, the ambulance had already come…. And I swear I thought they were going to fix it….

They took him away, and kindly told me to take a shower because I was all bloody myself… so I ran in and out the shower and sped down to the hospital…. To find out as soon as i got there that he had bled to death… they said they tried everything they could, but there was too much blood and they could not get a pulse and the lungs where filled up with too much blood they couldn't do anything... they have tried it all to resuscitate him...

then the nurse told me that when I was already trying everything to stop the bleeding and giving him cpr that by then he was already unconscious and probably gone because when they got there he already had no pulse and his whole lips and mouth where blue

You see he blew a artery… one of the main ones that goes to our hearts…. It was also one of the arteries that he had cancer in … and his heavy smokers cough contributed… (it contributed because when u are a cancer patient your arteries become more elastic/flexible from the chemo... so any chronic cough can rupture it)

If you are a smoker reading this… please consider this… your life and loved ones life can change in 30 seconds… because when you have a aorta blow out like my husband did..there is no one in this world can save you… and you will go with God quicker than you like… you won’t even have a chance to look into your loved ones eyes to say good bye…

So next time you light a cigarette don’t think like my husband did “oh that will never happen to me” because cancer does not have a preference in age, or color…. Just always remember it can take your life in less than 4 minutes… and i am a living witness of it...
It took my husband, without me getting the chance to say goodbye…

Thank you for all your kind words, and pmails and rosettes… once again I truly apologize for not coming on dogster this whole year… I missed u all a bunch… thank u all for all your support

God bless you all
Kasha
Lucky 5 MOM (caspers mom)