February 29th 2012 6:07 pm
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hi scootercrunch.. i just wanted to tell you how much i LOVE YOU & MISS YOU!! be it wrong or whatever droopy, i'll never be alright again.. my heart will never heal & my love for you will always be stronger than anything in this world.. you are my soul-mate..there is no doubt there..the greatest gift i ever have received..is you, droopster.. you light my world..you lift me up, you brought me happiness & love.. you brought me peace!!
my life will never be the same, droopy..my heart is , well, its just basically gone..it never will be whole again.. you took my heart with you... you are such an amazing pup..that for some reason, god wanted you back..i know you came into my life for alot of reasons.. to teach me to feel again, to help open my heart back up..heck, to FIND my heart, to help me smile again & have fun.. to help me end my addiction..and you DID EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE THINGS AND MORE.. only problem..god felt i was ready to handle things.. well..i AM NOT READY, NOT AT ALL!!
we had a bond before you were even mine.. then.. THEN.. we got even closer & you became the best friend i ever could of wanted or needed.. our love just grew & grew..and then.. out of nowhere. you were taken from me..the heart that you helped me find & feel again was just ripped right out of my chest..my insides turned into knots..my mind.. left in torment & my very being, left in the dark.. oh droopy..
MOMMIE LOVES YOU SO MUCH & I MISS YOU MORE THAN WORDS COULD EVER SAY!! there are NO words to desribe this pain i feel..
scootercrunch..i just want you to know you are LOVED SO DEEPLY..
and MISSED SO DEEPLY... you will furever be my scootercrunch, my brown-eyed girl & just the love of my LIFE!!
sleep well sweetheart.. i'll see you in my dreams..
MOMMIE LOVES YOU DROOPY!!
I LOVE YOU!!!
i know its wrong droopy.. but i just keep asking.. WHY!! WHY!??
i long for one more kiss, one more hug, one more cuddle, one more look into your big, beautiful brown eyes, one more day of playing ball, playing tug.. one more night of you snuggled next to me sleeping..one more evening sitting on the porch...one more day coming home from work & seeing you wiggle your butt.., ONE MORE OF EVERYTHING!!
ONE MORE HUG, ONE MORE KISS, ONE MORE ...DAY!!!
goodnight droopy...mommie loves you ..ALWAYS & FOREVER!!
March 7th 2012 6:25 pm
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for every moment i ever spent hurting, droopy..i spent more loving you!! you took care of me droopy, more than i ever took care of you..and i want to thank you for that...thank you..
my scootercrunch, you gave me so much.. so much. you gave me warmth, friendship, happiness, comfort, LOVE.
you gave me, YOU!!! and you gave me hope & trust...
droopy, you just plain GAVE ME EVERYTHING...i miss you so much!!
words can never describe the pain i feel inside of me.. NOTHING, can ever describe this loss... nothing can ever hurt this bad.. doesn't matter how much time goes by..my heart will never heal & my mind will never rest..
droopy, MOMMIE LOVES YOU!! do you HEAR ME!! I LOVE YOU!!
I MISS YOU!!! FUREVER & ALWAYS!! my scootercrunch...my love...
you are with me & you will ALWAYS be with me..
i'll see you again droopy, soon..MOMMIE LOVES YOU!!
March 21st 2012 5:49 pm
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hey droopster!! how are you sweetheart??? you know...i mISS YOU SO MUCH!! i can't believe today is wednesday & its also the 21st...
6 months ago, on a wednesday, also the 21st, we had to say goodbye..
my god droopy, DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU & MISS YOU!!??
let me tell you, my sweet big puppy..I MISS YOU & LOVE YOU MORE THAN I CAN SAY!! i feel like i am going through that horrible day all over again.. i can't believe its been 1/2 a year already.. it seems like yesterday to me, everyday..the pain hurts me so horrible & harsh inside..my body aches from crying so much, my mind is tired, my body is tired.. i don't sleep like i should..i worry bout you & i know you are o.k. now...but..i can't help but worry.. you know, thats how mommie is.. a big worrier..
i really think i am still in some kind of shock... i look at your picture on your urn & i just lose it..it just can't be, this can't be real!! NOT MY DROOPY!! i believed we would grow old together, i believed we would be together , together, me & you, till we went together...some may say thats stupid to think, crazy even, i don't care.. thats how i felt.. i long to touch you one more time, to look into your big brown eyes.. to feel you next to me while i sleep, look in the door when i come home & see you standing there, wiggle butting & waiting to jump on me & love me up.. i just long to have you back..
this pain.. this pain.. its almost like i can't breathe sometimes, thats how strong this hurt is inside me.. i sometimes actually gasp for air..i feel like i'm choking..
i'm doing o.k. with rascal, honey, your sweet, precious gift you sent me..i do love her.. and i know she is NOT a replacement.. first of all, there WILL NEVER BE A REPLACEMENT FOR YOU DROOPY, you are ONE OF A KIND, LOL...i know rascal is here to let me continue the love..
but droopy.. i can't hide this pain all the time.. i just can't..
i try so hard.. i laugh, i have fun in your groups...but.. so many times i am writing & you are laughing & dancing, i'm sitting here sobbing my eyes out, my heart laying in pieces..i'll never get another picture of you, i'll never get another kiss, a hug, that "droopy look"
i want to HOLD YOU DROOPY, RIGHT NOW!! i want to tell you how much I LOVE YOU SCOOTERCRUNCH & WILL FUREVER & ALWAYS!!
i will never understand what happened & why.. and droopy, if it was my fault, please, PLEASE FORGIVE ME!! you know i would never hurt you!! i wish i had done more.. i just don't know what the hell i missed!!
but i sure missed something.. and no matter what anybody says, i'll never forgive myself.. never.. i only hope you forgive.. i know you will, thats the type of pup you are.. loving, caring & gentle..
my gentle giant..
just listen sweetheart.. MOMMIE LOVES YOU, mommie LOVES YOU SO DEEPLY & DEARLY!! i'll ALWAYS LOVE YOU!! my heart will always beat with your memories, our memories.. the greatest love of all was our love!!
our bond, friendship & love will forever live strong in my heart!!
our memories will always play in my mind..you will live forever droopy, in my thoughts, memories & my HEART!!
you WILL NEVER, NEVER BE FORGOTTEN!! for you are truly the only one true friend i ever had!! i cry droopy, i cry very much.. in fact..i sob like i never knew was possible..BUT.. I WILL MAKE YOU PROUD!!!
please don't forget me & all the love we shared.. we still share that love, in each of our hearts...we will forever, scootercrunch!!
MOMMIE LOVES YOU DROOPY, MOMMIE LOVES YOU!!
sweet dreams my pumpkin..i'll see you in mine tonight, like i do everynight..my big puppy, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! mommie xoxoxoxoxoxo
I MISS YOU DROOPY, MY GOD HOW I MISS YOU!!!
April 1st 2012 7:20 pm
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droopy, my love.... mommie just found out today is rainbow bridge day..
i want you to know that i think of you all the time, every minute, every second of everyday!! i wasn't able to get balloons today.. but i will soon as i get paid.. and i'm going to go up aunt lisa's & set some free & i'm going to set some free right outside, on our front porch.. i know how much you loved to be at aunt lisa's & how much you also loved to just sit out on the porch.. i'm also going to plant a row of beautiful flowers for you this year, bright colors, like a rainbow..i love you & miss you so much droopy.. i can't help but think that i'm still going to wake up & this will all be a dream.. but i never "wake" up from it.. and the nightmare goes on & on..i miss you everyday, my sweet droopy...i love you more than i ever thought possible..that, my sweet scootercrunch, is one thing that WILL NEVER CHANGE, my LOVE for you...it will live & grow & remain in my heart furever & always!!!.. I MISS YOU SO MUCH DROOPY, oh mommie misses you!! I LOVE YOU!! see you in my dreams tonight droopy..hold you in my heart...my beautiful puppy!! always & furever!!
goodnight sweetheart...goodnight....love, mommie
April 2nd 2012 9:10 am
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Remember Our Love
I was chosen today
I'm learning to fly
the world took me away,
but please don't you cry
And I chose you today
to try and be strong
so please don't you cry
and don't say that I'm gone
When you're feeling alone
just remember our love,
I'm up near the stars
looking down from above.
Remember our love
In a moment you'll see
that I'm still here beside you
when you're thinking of me.
I LOVE YOU DROOPY!! i'll always remember our friendship, our bond, our LOVE!
April 5th 2012 7:03 pm
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dear droopy.. i just wanted to tell you.. I MISS YOU.. i really miss you & it just really sucks you are not with me..
i love you droopy, i love you so much.. more than any words could express..I LOVE YOU!!
April 8th 2012 6:00 pm
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well droopy...our first easter apart.. another holiday without you..
more emptiness in my heart..i'm just really havin a hard time today, droopy..it just sucks, thats all.. just sucks & I MISS YOU SO MUCH!!
my mind is just so tired tonight, droopy.. so i think i will finish this tomorrow.. i have things i want to say to you...but i can't do it when i can't keep my eyes open... but you bet mommie will be back first thing in morning..i'll be talking to you in bed though, before i fall asleep.. we will talk.. and once again.. i'll sooner or later cry myself to sleep..like i do everynight..this pain does not get better.. it only gets deeper..oh droopy.. how i miss you & long to hold you..
droopy.. i'll see you in my dreams & remember, my sweet pumpkin..
MOMMIE LOVES YOU SO MUCH!! I LOVE YOU & MISS YOU SO DEEPLY!!
ps. i'm just so lost without you & can't stop playing that day back...
over & over & over.. i just don't understand.. i pray one day i will..
because right now all i understand is i'm angry, hurt, terrified...
broken..lost & very sad..
GOD BLESS DROOPY!!MOMMIE LOVES YOU DEEPLY & OH SO DEARLY!!
scootercrunch..I LOVE YOU!! FUREVER & ALWAYS!! mommie...
April 18th 2012 6:39 pm
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To some you may be forgotten..
To others, part of the past..
But to me who loved and lost you,
Your memory will always last...
my sweet droopy, mommie loves you, so very much!! my heart aches everyday & screams with pain.. this can't be real, i keep telling myself..i think i will wake up & you will be right there, beside me.. but you r not..this pain is way too deep for me to , get past..
you saved me.. you saved my life.. from pill addiction & from an empty heart.. you saved me.. you made me wake up & get help from my addiction & you woke my heart.. you filled it with so much warmth, kindness, tenderness & love.. you gave me happiness.. happiness i never had felt before.. you saved me, droopy..
i need you honey, i need you...i'm afraid without you, droopy..
i'm just afraid..i'm trying.. i am.. but i just can't get a grip on what happened.. i don't understand..
droopy please know this.. I LOVE YOU!! more than words can say.. i love you...
my life was nothing, nothing, until you came into it.. you made me smile.. more than just smile.. you made me HAPPY!!
you filled my heart.. you filled my life...you filled my soul...
you gave me meaning.. purpose... i never will furget that..
droopy, my sweet scootercrunch..I LOVE YOU!! I LOVE YOU!!
your memory will last forever inside my heart...
sitting here now droopy, writing this, i finally realize something...
i need to be happy again..i need to smile & laugh..i need to enjoy your memory, not wash it away with all my tears.. i'm thinking that not only am i hurting myself with all this pain, but i'm also hurting you...i know how you hated to see me cry... well..what am i putting you through now??? everything you did for me i need to hold on to it & pick myself up!!i know its o.k. to feel pain, afterall what happened to you was such a shock!! but i must also now allow myself to heal.. i can't allow this pain to swallow me.. and i will not lose your memory & all the wonderful, happy times we had in a pile of tears..
afterall, we had alot of happy, funny & warm * loving times together!!
its time for me to honor your memory droopy..time for me to allow your sweet gift, rascal, to work her magic on me.. time for me to laugh & smile and realize its o.k. i know this all probally sounds like i don't know what i am doing, maybe i don't.. but i know that starting today, i'm going to think of you & smile... i'm going to talk about you & smile..yes, there will still be tears.. but i must try & get through this.. i want you to be happy droopy & i know seeing me like this, you are not.. and i will not upset you anymore..
forgive me droopy, i will try harder..i will try harder to make you proud of me.. i want that, i want you to be proud of me..just like i am so very proud of you droopy!! i'm going to write a book about you droopy & our wonderful & beautiful life together!! i hope i do you proud, scootercrunch, i hope i do you proud!!
mommie loves you droopy.. today , tomorrow, & FOREVER!!
your memory & your love will live forever in my soul, in my heart...
May 8th 2012 8:59 am
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Weep not for me though I am gone into that gentle night.
Grieve if you will, but not for long upon my soul's sweet flight.
I am at peace, my soul’s at rest; there is no need for tears.
For with your love I was so blessed for all those many years.
There is no pain; I suffer not, the fear now all is gone.
Put now these things out of your thoughts, in your memory I live on.
Remember not my fight for breath, remember not the strife.
Please do not dwell upon my death, but celebrate my life.
my droopy...its unreal to me...7 months & 17 days..7 months, 17 days!!!
thats how long i've been without you, yet each day still feels like the first day..that first horrible day that i woke up and you weren't beside me.. it had to be a horrible nightmare i thought..i ran through the house, calling your name, droopy, droopy!! what happened, where were you!! i just collasped right there on the floor.. my world was shattered..
well droopy, i'm gettin alittle better.. but its still so very hard & this pain inside my heart, well, that will never get better..
some days are better..some are not..i still breakdown at least once a day, sometimes more.. but i've also laughed...yes, laughed..i was talking to aunt lisa about you & we were saying about the crazy, funny things you would do & i was laughing..i could actually see you in the yard..remember how you loved to play ball at aunt lisa's.. and just run through the yard!! lol..you & layla chasing each other.. you'd take layla's ball & she'd jump at you & bark & bark, you'd drop the ball & she got it & took off with you right behind her.. you'd sneak it away from her again..then you'd lay down to rest & layla would be all over you, sniffing you all over..she'd put her nose in your ears, your eyes, your mouth, lol..you'd lay there, my gentle giant..not a mean bone in your body, droopy..
how bout when you'd be eatin your dry food...you'd hear something & bark with a mouth full of food, OMD!! BOL!! dog food, all over the floor, BOL!!!and how you'd "talk" to me sometimes, bol...oh how you made me laugh droopy..you made me so happy... sitting here thinking about these things, makes me smile...i have tears , but i'm smiling through them..7 years was not long enough droopy, but we sure did pack alot of fun times & memories into those years..
i just get so angry at myself though droopy, when i do smile or laugh.. i still feel bad.. i know that probally sounds stupid, but its how i feel. all i want to do droopy, is make you proud of me.. thats all i want.. you mean the world to me, droopy! you are my scootercrunch
and not just my scootercrunch, my peanutbutter scootercrunch!! BOL!!
remember i always said that to you.. oh droopy...what the hell happened!!!???!! this is just so hard.. you were the greatest thing that ever happened to me!! when we first met we were two lost souls..
both of us so lonely & unhappy..when i took you home, everything changed!! it was like i could breathe again.. everything just felt different.. you saved me...yes, i saved you...but droopy you gave me so much more than i gave you..and i'll always, ALWAYS remember how you saved me & how you loved me.. i am so proud of you droopy, i always have been.. i hope i can make you proud of me..
i'll talk to you soon, my sweet brown-eyed girl...
but even with all said..theres no point in pretending, bacause my heart will never mend & my tears will still flow everyday...
I LOVE YOU & MISS YOU SO VERY MUCH, DROOPY!! forever, love mommie
May 14th 2012 5:11 pm
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dear droopy.. i miss you so much.. its very chilly here for this time of year.. but i'm sure it will warm up..i just wanted to wish you a goodnight..i love you scootercrunch, I LOVE YOU!! i'll be holding you in my dreams tonight, just like i do everynight...I LOVE YOU DROOPY!!
I LOVE YOU!!oh i miss you!! goodnight my sweet, beautiful brown-eyed girl.. MOMMIE LOVES YOU DEEPLY!!
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