August 22nd 2008 6:04 pm
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Last night was long... but uneventful.... thank goodness - - - I've been tubing Emma faithfully, every two hours 'round the clock and the results are certainly showing in her weight this morning.................. 101 grams!!!! YAY!!!
It still terrifies me... and I probably take far longer to do it than most, because I spend the better part of 20 minutes praying and "gearing up" for it.... but.... it's serving it's purpose.
The stitches are loose... but the wound is not completely open and it looks as though the skin is beginning to bond together in some places... starting to look pretty scabby though and I wonder if I should be putting something on it. (I was so upset yesterday, I didn't think to ask).
I was able to get her mouth open so I could look at the inside... (when I think about it, it's kinda' sad that she instinctively KNOWS to "be still and open wide" when I place my fingers on both sides of her muzzle.... it's like she knows something bad is going to happen and if she just "does what I want", it won't hurt so much...)
Looking at the inside of her mouth, I'm really pretty angry, even more than yesterday, about the job that was done with the 3rd "repair"....
Now, I realize how difficult it must be to work inside this teensie tiny little space.... but I've seen, I don't know how many people do it now, so I know it's not impossible.... and I had hoped for better results. (did I mention earlier that her mouth is all but MANGLED???)
Inside her mouth - is a large chunck of her cheek.... I guess in pulling and stitching the nose and lip together - they had to pull so tight that part of her cheek bunched up and was pulled in with the stitching...... anyway.... it's right in the spot where her jaw closes... so in closing her mouth, she's essentially gumming on the piece of her cheek......
During the night is our main "cuddle time".... that's when I'm constantly holding her - either snuggled on the couch, researching on the computer or piddling around here doing dishes or whatever..... so since she's getting pretty good rest during that time, I don't mind her being a wiggly little "weeble" during the day.... (and it gives you all a chance to get a good look at her!)
I know she's not confined to a TINY space and I know she gets around all over the place.... but again, I want her to have quite a bit of movement... I need her to stay strong and work all of her muscles... keep the bowels moving... keep the lungs clear... keep that tiny heart pumping!
My thoughts, prayers and gratitude are constantly with all of you who have shown baby Emma so much love and compassion...... it makes my heart smile every time I see such beautiful souls come together for the benefit of another, with such selfless devotion!
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