Well...Todays Just Like any Other Day...

Today...Well And every other Day...

I waked up this Mornin' Same as always. Mama was sleeping all funny like while I was Yelpin' cuz I had to go pee Real Bad. Mom Wouldn't Wake up for nothing though so I...Well Ya. When Mom woke up I thought she'd Get real mean like, so I ran Straight for the Backdoor! Mamma just laughed, Gave me a little kissey, and Played around with me while I wiggled my "Booty Like there was no tomorrow!" Then she got all serious and said... Well I don't know But I heard "No" and "Outside" So she opened the door and I Bolted! I didn't needa pee no more so I Ran straight for Big sis! She really Likes Me! Hers is a Black and White 10 lbs Bunny named "Bambi" I know that cuz every time I go and see her and Wake her up and Rock her cage and Scratch at the Cage and Make her Squeal, Mom Shouts real loud and mad like while Pulling me away sayin' stuff like "No Bambi!" "Leave Bambi 'Lone!" "Shoo! Get inside! " I never do though. I just bark at her and run towards the Picnic table, Jump on it, Make it Wiggle, Pull off the Table cloth, And Jump down in my own pile of Poop and get all Stinky! AND THENNNN... (I get a REAL BIG Kick outa' this!) I go and Jump right on Mama! Her's gets all happy! I mean... Who wouldn't? I mean now mama can always 'member me cuz hers gots my Signature right there on the Crotch of her pants! Now every dog will know she’s mine! That’s real good cuz I have know Idea what A person could do from 7:40am To 4:00pm! I hope she's not cheatin'. I never smell other Pups on her But I jus get so 'cited I pee a little! I get so happy I don't think about nothin'! Not even playin' With Bambi, Playin' with Other Pups, Or Tunnlin', Or poopin', Or Jumpin', Or The neighbors Baby! I just Go straight for my Mama! I mean she Loves me sooooo much! Heck Just yesterday she was tellin' me about An "Essay! It's about You Honey! Awww! Gorgeous....Whos Gorgeous? Masa? Oh ya ! Thats right! Goobby Goo! Thats Who! Aww Who's gonna get an A?! Mama! Ya! Mama Masa! Mama!" Stuff like that 'Fuses me. I mean, Masa? My name's Shasta. Not Roo Roo or Loo Loo or Goob, or even Honnnneyyyy! But anyway, back ta what I was sayin'! After I destroy Moms pants, I run and Pee and Run some more, and Jump, and Pee, And bark and jump, and bark and bark and bark! If I run to fast when it's super muddy though... I just fall and Mama laughs! OH! and when mama laughs I run up and gave her kisses! That's where I Lick her face and she makes weird faces and noises like AHHH! NOOO! SHASTA! No Lu Lu! Go away Goob. But I can't leaver' cuz she's always huggin' me right back! That’s why I love Mama! I mean can any of you really say that yous' gots' a Mom that jolts around with ya from kitchen to Living Room shoutin'
Chinese Phrases and Karate choppin' the air? No! That’s only my Mama!
Do any of you guys honestly, Yank down ya mama's Britches when they start to hang to loose on the sprint through the dining room?! Everyone giggles when that happens! But she don't get mad. She laughs And tries to pick me up, but she can't. She says I'm to fat. That reminds me! I BARF A LOT! I mean like probably every other Day! The first time was when I was able to be picked up so mom started to cradle me AFTER I snuck outside and ate a batch of Grease from the GeorgeFormen that was waitin' to be cleaned, And i told her "Ut oh mom, don't do it" and started to squirm. I guess she didn't figure it out so right as she leaned it to plant a big one on my nose, I did it. I Barfed. All over my Mamas Shirts, On her Birthday! WHICH REMINDS ME! I love Balloons! But Anywho. I bolted to the back door (Habit) and Mama can after shoutin' stuff like "It's okay Honey and no your not in trouble. I'm sorry." It was real confusing though cuz Every one at the Party was Laughing. Her sissy was on the floor laughin' real hard. She sounded like this Pig I met at My daddy's boss's house. It wasn't as mean as I thought it would be. It just Growled Likes my Aunts Little Terrier Dog.
But any way My daddy went outside with me wheezing while mama Went to the room with the loud roaring tiger inside. Every time Anyone goes in there, I wait outside my Little Baby gate (which I hate) And cry. Cuz all I hear is muffed Radio sounds and Running water. But before the water, I hear a loud Roars all through the house. I've been in there a few times, however, I never see no tiger. All that happens to me is I jump in a white box with no lid but two high doors that slide, and warm water on my feet, and then my back, and then shampoo, and then more water out of a little hose everywhere else. I like it. I love jumpin' on Moms bed afterwards and getting it all warm for her. She Ends up throughin' all of the Covers in The washing machine Though.
But anyway, The rest of my day goes like this:
7:30: Mama feeds Bambi while I Run and Play and Pee...A lot
7:40: Mama leaves me alone with evil witch woman that lives upstairs and goes with Dad or Aunt Dianna (only one Mondays) In the Little cramped Blue car Or the Big Spacious, Glorious Explorer!
7:40-7:45: I sit and Cry at the Door
7:45: Evil Witch woman awakens and shouts at me and puts me outside for a few minutes. She asks if I need to pee But I never do. But does that stop her? NO!
7:50: She lets me back inside To do some destruction!!!!
I like too Eat things like
*Sandals
*Baskets
*Blankets
*Plastic Things
*Stuffing from Blankets and Crappy toys that get thrown away too soon...
*And Random things out of the Garbage!!
9:00: I nap. I can't help it! I might be 7 Months old But I still needa sleep. I'm a pup at heart!
10:00 I go pee. Mostly outside. I stay out there for quite a while. I like to dig a bite at Bambi through the cage.
10:30-4:00 I do other Puppy things.
4:00!! THIS IS MY FAVORITE PART! Mama Runs In with tons of heavy stuff (Like Daddy! Ha!) And starts playin' and Laughin' with me! Until I get so 'cited I bark and jump (Which I’m not allowed to do) And run! She gets settled while I greet Daddy and then I go and Beg mama to let me go on a walk with her while she's gettin' something stupid said to her by Evil Witch Woman. She usually Picks up my poop that I pooped earlier in the day with white Winco bags. I don't help her much by jumpin' on the piles earlier in the mornin'. But she does it, Straps me up on an extendable Black leash, while I grab it in my mouth and run towards the back door. She opens the Gate that I dig holes under, and we're off! We Head down the street To The Other Street and I stop and sit and so does she until she says "Okay. Lets Go" And then I attempt to bolt to the next house down with Two big Girl Husky Pups. I sniff the fence while they Bark and mama yanks my chain. I don't wanna Hurt em'. All they say is stuff like "Hey Fresh Meat. What’s that behind ya?" And then I look and there’s nothing and when I turn around there down at the other end of their fence waitin’ for me and Mama to come say hi. So I do. But this time mama drags me across the busiest street I've ever seen without letting me say good bye. But that’s okay cuz they bark things like "Good bye! Don't forget to have your mama change your Diapers!" There such sweet old ladies. Too bad mamma can't see there Potentials... But then we walk and stop a little more. I like to stop and Sniff other Dogs Pee. Sometimes we see loose dogs but I know not to bark. I don't like to Draw to much attention to me cuz my mama don't like it. She just keeps me calm by sayin' stuff like "Oh Mas. They Don't want ya. Just another Pup like you." Then we get to this one house and mom stops talking to me in her special way to keep me motivated cuz There’s this boy.
He's like a year older than her and he sits and Waits on his porch mama just hangs her head low, blushes, smiles, waves sometimes, and keeps going until we reach my favorite place on our route! The Puddle! I pretend to swim and I attempt to Dig And Splash While neighboring dogs Bark with Jealousy. Then we go for a little while longer and then Head Home.
5:00 She does homework while I play inside and Talk to her. She gets me treats from the Cupboard. She Gives em' to me when I wait patiently outside the Kitchen Door Cuz I'm Not allowed in and I only get treats when I am Good.
7:00: We go on other Various walks and Play outside in the Dark. Sometimes These little 10-12 Yr old Boys come dog to Wrestle with me. They always end up getting Me In trouble though.
8:30: Mom visits The Tiger
9:30: Once mom is done putting on clothes that I steal from of her bed, She says goodnight to our Dad and watches TV With him while I usually go eat Dog Food beans I'm not allowed on the couch.
10:00:Me and Mom Jump in to bed and watch our favorite shows like Animal Cops Houston Or Animal Cops Detroit or Animal Precinct. Sometimes We Watch Samantha Brown Passport to Europe Cuz Mama's taking French this Year In high school. OH!!! Maybe that's where she goes all the live long Day! But we do that untill we fall asleep. Me first Usually. The Early Bird Gets The Worm! Which reminds me... I gotta Go. I here Food Rattling In the Fridge door, Which means someone opened it. Better go wait out side the door for some treats! Later! "Coming Mama!"