March 12th 2013 9:17 am
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Mom is continuing on her supposed program by the infamous Jon Kabat-Zinn. I wonder if it is so much of a "program," or is it "programm-ing?"
Mom has now started the Yoga phase of Mindfulness Meditations. Since everything here at MY 0.46 Acres of Suburbia should be centered on ME, Pennie, or Sophie, as well, if I am feeling generous, then we have turned this Mindfulness Meditation into Medidogitation. It would be wrong of us to let Mom embark on anything without our advice and input, particularly anything which is so focused upon The Breath. As dogs, we have an abundance of The Breath, and share it freely and lovingly with all.
Mom tried to get started with the Yoga by laying out a mat on the floor. She then installed her earphones/ear buds into her ears and turned on her MP3 player, and laid down. That was of course an invitation for Sophie and I to lay upon Mom. Mom attempted to banish ME, Pennie, to the basement, to encourage Dad to focus, focus, focus, upon his work, but I kept bark, bark, barking. In the meantime, Sophie grabbed a deer antler and lay quite close to Mom and began to grind, grind, grind, and gnaw, gnaw, gnaw upon her deer antler gnaw. Mom stopped the recording and released me from the basement. She installed Sophie upstairs, in Mom's bedroom. Sophie immediately began to whine; long high pitched, ear-penetrating whines of angst and despair. Mom turned the MP3 recording back on and attempted to block out the noise of Sophie's angst and despair.
One might ask at this point why Mom did not put Sophie and ME, Pennie, outside. Well, obviously we would just bark, bark, bark and hurl ourselves at the door to come inside. Mom did not even attempt to trap ME, Pennie, in a room. There is much photographic evidence of my penchant to become Interior Designer Pennie if I am trapped in a room.
Mom resumed her attempt at YOGA. The first position was called the "Corpse Position." What was a Pennie-Dog to do? All dogs must investigate a corpse! A dog must first determine if a corpse is really a corpse, then roll in it to enjoy the lovely corpse smells, and then eat parts of the corpse. I sniffed Mom's hands, licked her toes, then attempted to clean her right ear. Mom does NOT like her ears cleaned. Who knows what is growing inside her ears, as she will not ever let me send my long, probing tongue inside to clean it thoroughly. However, when I got to Mom's ear, I was able to definitely determine that Mom was NOT a corpse. Really, I am glad Mom was not a corpse. If I had rolled in her, then eaten parts of her, I would no doubt have ended up back at The Shelter. With my less-adoptable age of seven, plus a history of eating bit of my own Mother, I probably would be rendered "non-adoptable," and all dogs know what happens next.
Mom again attempted to re-focus upon her Mindfulness Medidogitation YOGA. I laid at her feet, just out of reach of Mom, but she could feel The Pennie Breath upon her. I offered up grumbles of either gentle encouragement, or general displeasure at Mom's refusal to give up on the YOGA. I finally decided to listen to my Gentle Pennie-Self and settled myself down to simply watch over Mom.
If Mom is determined to continue with this Medidogitation then I am certain that I am only helping: assuring her that she is still alive while she is in the "corpse pose," murmuring either encouragement or displeasure as she makes a fool of herself in her YOGA poses, and of course providing Mom with an even greater abundance of The Breath to focus upon, as I pant and offer up The Pennie Breath. In fact, me being a general nuisance will actually allow Mom to obtain greater depths of relaxation, in my Pennie Theory of Medidogitaion, even if I am not a famous PhD from a famous University.
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My opinion - if da momma are on da floor, she must be wanting to pet me. And get licked by me.
My Mom has recently started doing push ups. I take this opportunity to stick my head between her and the floor. It's going well for me so far!
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