February 20th 2013 2:12 pm
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I am on strike. I have been quite unhappy since Oldest Lad moved to Louisville. Yes, he has moved back and forth between home and University multiple times these past several years, but this time I knew he was going for good. I am supposed to be happy because Oldest Lad is off the Parental Dole and is a Taxpayer.

I have decided to convey my unhappiness in a series of Passive Aggressive Antics. Some of my antics are not Passive Aggressive, but simply Aggressive.

Last night, when Dad was reading Wee Lass her nightly bedtime story, I was sitting on the bed, listening and murmuring appropriate literary comments. There is a lot to be said about Dr. Seuss "The Foot Book," if one takes the time to thoughtfully analyze it. Normally, Sophie joins us. This is what happened: Sophie walked just into the doorway and saw that it was Story Time. I "smiled" at her. I don't mean I "smiled" in a good way. It was a "you are NOT invited to this Story Time, ever," type of smile. Sophie left.

The backyard of my 0.46 Acres of Suburbia is now covered in mole tracks. It is almost impossible for a human to walk about the back yard without stepping upon a mole track, sinking into the earth, and twisting an ankle.

I normally dispense with moles. In August of 2007, upon my arrival here, I immediately dispensed with all moles from the property, sending any moles that I did not consume over into the adjacent yards.

I am NOT going to eat the moles. I am not going to prevent their tunneling. I don't care if Mom twists an ankle in a Mole Tunnel while she is in the back yard picking up poop.

Sophie does nothing to earn her kibble, yet she gets a daily kibble ration, same as me. Sophie doesn't even act like she misses Oldest Lad. When he comes home for a visit, she dominates his attention, spending her time staring at him and licking his head. As soon as he leaves, she turns her attention back to either Mom or whoever else will shower her with Utter Sophie Adoration.

I am on strike. I am Angry Pennie. I am Depressed Pennie. I shall not raise a paw until my family proves to me that they are worthy of my mole-eating skills.