January 5th 2013 11:48 am
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The other day, one of the lads spilled some pretzel sticks on the floor. I do not particularly care for pretzels, Ritz crackers, or tortilla chips. I will eat them if it's a matter of me getting to them prior to Sophie, but in this case she was standing right under the counter and it wasn't worth getting off the couch for a snack I don't particularly like.

As a rule, Mom does not find pretzel sticks and dogs to mesh well. Mom thinks that since us dogs eat so fast, the pretzel sticks don't get chewed at all, but go down whole.

It was soon quite clear that Sophie had eaten her pretzel sticks whole. The utterly amazing aspect is that Middle Lad heard Sophie making her pre-spew sounds and rushed her out the door. Middle Lad is oblivious to most things, so for him to register the pre-spew sound PLUS act upon it was amazing.

Sophie spewed forth a neat little pile of pretzel sticks onto the front porch. It looked like a little pretzel haystack. A few weeks ago I erupted forth a pile of glistening chocolates that I had eaten, in such a perfect manner that Mom could simply have reconstituted the little pieces of foil, plus my vomit, into perfect little chocolates once again. It was the same with the pretzels: If so inclined, Mom could have just picked those pretzels out, dried them a bit, and put them back in the pretzel bag.

Instead, Mom got a big dish of water and rinsed the pretzel vomit pile off into the shrubbery. I don't know what Mom was thinking, but those pretzels still have not dissolved. Nope. Each time that Sophie or I are mistakenly let out into the front yard, we head straight for the shrubbery and attempt to re-snack upon those still perfectly good pretzels.

I don't understand Mom's consternation. The pretzels are clearly still perfectly shaped and edible. She "could" have picked them up when they were first spewed forth, but no, she just rinsed them off into the shrubbery. Who was she trying to fool?