April 28th 2012 11:17 am
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My 0.46 acres of Suburbia has been Blacklisted by FedEx.

On Monday, Sophie had a look of "urgency" about herself. As Sophie has now become a Weapon of Terror, with all the humans fearing Exploding Sophie will go off at any moment; Sophie was whisked out the closest exit of the house, which was the front door. I followed.

Normally if Mom "expects" a package, she makes certain that Sophie and I are either inside the house, or in the backyard if we have to be out at all. Our yard has two electronic fence zones: Front yard and back yard. We get zapped if we try to cross the No-Dogs-Land in between the two zones.

On Monday, Mom was NOT expecting a package. Soon after letting Sophie (and Me, Pennie) out, however, Mom heard a ruckus. She looked out the front door.

I was jumping all over a FedEx man. First off: This FedEx man did not drive up in a FedEx Truck. No. He drove up in an un-marked mini-van AND he parked facing the wrong direction on the street. My Regular FedEx Man drives a FedEx truck, parks facing the correct direction, AND brings ME, Pennie, TREATS!

The Pseudo-FedEx-Man obviously did NOT like dogs and was NOT a dog person. He should just not have come into the yard. However, once he was in the yard, instead of just stopping, or leaving the yard, he kept approaching. I of course kept jumping because I was certain of either a treat, or at least I was going to inspect the package, to make sure it did not contain any weapons of mass destruction or improvised explosive devises. That's just my dog-ly duty.

When Mom heard, then saw all the ruckus, she called out to the FedEx man to just "drop the package." He dropped the package in the grass, and then I ran over to Mom as she kept calling me, and I was getting tired of her nagging voice.

Once Mom corralled me back into the house, she checked to make sure the Pseudo-FedEx Man was OK, as he was still parked in his non FedEx truck, parked the wrong way, in front of my 0.46 acres of Suburbia. He was OKAY.

Then on Friday, Mom was indeed expecting a package. She made certain that no dogs from MY 0.46 acres of Suburbia were outside. Mom could not account for any random stray dogs lurking about. When Mom got home from errands, she found a package -- placed on the tree lawn, out by the mailbox by the curb. Normally if no one is home, packages are left near the front door, where it is not easy to see them or to steal them.

Apparently it is Me, Pennie, that has brought this black-listing down upon my 0.46 acres of Suburbia. All I was trying to do was either get a treat or protect my turf.