October 26th 2009 8:10 am
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Welllllllllllllllll, Grammy went and did it this year!! She told The Girl she could have a Halloween party and 18 kids showed up for it. Most of 'em were dressed in real weird clothes and some had really, really strange colored hair. And OH MY DOG, could they scream!! I think the boys screamed louder than the girls. And of course, they all wanted to pet ME coz most of 'em remember when I was borned and they still think I'm a baby. But I'm off subject. Back to the party.
Grammy decided to have a goldfish eating contest at the party. She wrote on the invitations "There will be a goldfish eating contest and a prize will be given to the winner. Do you have what it takes to swallow one of our golden friends?" Grammy went to PetCo and bought about 10 goldfish and had them in a bowl for the kids to see, so they would know what they were gonna be eating. Seven of the 18 kids said they would eat a goldfish so Grammy put them in a room by theirselves. One by one she brought the kids out and sat them in a chair in front of the kids who weren't brave enough to eat a LIVE fish. She put a blindfold on them coz she said that would make it easier on them if they didn't have to see the fish they were about to eat. Grammy took the fish out of the water and all of the other kids were screaming things like "OH MY GOSH, it's HUGE" and "Look at it wiggle" which was totally freaking out the kid in the blindfold coz he or she was about to EAT it.
Let me back up for a minute. Grammy was wonderfully prepared for this party. She's been making plans for months for this thing coz it's been an annual event at our house for the past six years, BUT this year she didn't plan ahead quite enough BECAUSE she never thought about kids THROWING UP when they were eating the goldfish. So she didn't get a vomit bucket ready so our carpet paid the price, bol. Back to the party....................
The first kid to eat a fish was a really tall boy who looked very brave. . I would have thought he could have swallowed several fish just by looking at him. Grammy grabbed the fish and plopped it into his mouth and he IMMEDIATELY began to gag. He TRIED so hard to CHEW the fish and swallow it but he just could not make himself do it. He was gagging really bad and then PUKED on the carpet. One down, six to go.
Then a GIRL got in the seat and Grammy put a fish in her mouth. I was really impressed with this girl because she took THREE CHEWS and then SPIT the fish across the room. I immediately went into "Retriever mode" and tried to eat the fish, but Grammy was hollering "Sadie NOOOOOOOOOOOOO, you can't eat that."
The third person was another girl and she barely had the fish in her mouth before she was gagging and spitting and thinking she was gonna die. She yanked the blindfold off of her eyes and sat down with the kids too chicken to eat a fish. She kept spitting and wiping her mouth.
The fourth kid decided HE couldn't do it on the way to the chair and just sat down with the chickens. BOL
The fifth one was another girl but alas, when Grammy placed the fish in her mouth she tried so hard to swallow it but she gagged, and gagged and gagged and then got up and PUKED in the kitchen trashcan. At least she made it to the trashcan.
The sixth one was another girl. She got the fish in her mouth and she felt that slimy thing in her mouth but she attempted to swallow it anyway. She couldn't do it. She puked right on her shoes!
Then the last kid took the seat. He was the youngest one at the party, only 10 years old. Grammy put the slimy fish in his mouth and he crunched down on it like it was bubble gum!! He chewed and chewed it then SWALLOWED IT AND DIDN'T EVEN GAG!! He took the blindfold off, got up and opened his mouth and sure enough, the fish was gone. He won the prize of a HUGE chocolate candy bar and a HUGE box of Starburst. He was so happy.
Now I gots to spill the beans about the "fish" the kids were eating. Grammy is NOT mean to animals or children. She would NEVER feed a live animal (not even a fish) to anyone. BUT she wanted the kids to THINK they were eating a fish so she bought some fresh mushrooms and cut them into goldfish sized pieces. THEN she got some canned mushrooms and she put the fresh mushrooms into the canned mushroom liquid so they would all be wet. She took a fresh mushroom and a canned one and that's what she put into the kids mouths. Grammy thoght the fresh one would bring the experience of crunching into the fish, and the canned one would be feel slimy like she thought a fish would feel.
AND after the kids were put in the room by themselves Grammy told the other kids "I am NOT going to have them eat real fish, BUT I want you to make them THINK I am. Please say things like "OH GROSS!" "It's a big one" "OH MY GOSH", and boy did they ever do a good job at making the kids think they were actually eating a real fish. The power of suggestion is a powerful thing.
Grammy took the goldfish she bought to her friend Brenda who has a BIG goldfish tank and they got a beautiful home now. Brenda knew Grammy was going to bring them over coz they had talked about it a long time ago. Grammy made good plans, just not plans for puking kids. Grammy wants you all to know that IF you have a goldfish eating contest at your house PLEASE place a puke bucket under each contestant. It will save your carpet and keep you from having to shampoo. BOL
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Totally awesome idea!
Your Grammy is one cool grammy!
you totally had us fooled! what a sneaky grammy!
OMD, Mom had to read this again and then read it to Daddy tonight. She still finds it so hilarious. She was gigglin' like a fool again.