Lamb is for me, not DADDY!!

Since I've been eating raw, I've mostly had chicken. Mom thought she would try something new. So...she went to the grocery store under the pretense of buying Daddy some salad....and bought me a nice meaty lamb neck/shoulder! Hahahaha!

Well, mom has NEVER bought lamb for Dad...EVER! She was a little worried about his reaction, so she hid the lamb in the refrigerator in the garage, in the vegatable bin, under the onions...BOL!

The next morning, after Dad went to work, she brought the lamb into the house. I didn't eat much of it, so she left it in a baggie in the fridge. That night Dad came home and SAW IT!

Dad: "What's this, we havin' lamb for dinner?"
Mom: "ah, no."
Dad: "This lamb looks really good, why don't we cook it tonight?"
Mom: "ummm, we can't."
Dad: "Why not?"
Mom: "Well....the dog ate some of it."
Dad: "WHAT!!!"

I immediately felt the need to go outside! Didn't want to be around for that! Well, mom explained the whole thing. She said the lamb wasn't that good anyway, 'cause it had too much fat and bone on it...HAHAHAHA!

Daddy sez if I want LAMB, I will just have to get a J.O.B.! Huh?? What that? Work? Are you kiddin'? I do plenty of work around here! I guard the house, make sure everybody is awake when they need to be, inspect all the food to make sure its edible, keep the cats in line...etcetera, etcetera. I do plenty of work! AND I deserve lamb. So there!

Daddy got over his miff pretty quickly. He loves mom's quirkyness. So all's well that ends well....and daddy happily ate his salad!

Paws-up for hard working doggies!

Tikka

How to make a cat love me....

I admitted a couple of weeks ago in the tag game, 7 Facts About Me, that I secretly love my cat-brats. It's hard to admit, but there it is. Well, we have a new advice column on Dogster Plus. It's called Dear Al and I, for one, was very excited to seek some doggie advice for my problem.

So, I posed my question to Dear Al.

Dear Al,

I have a problem with my cat-brats. They hate me. I try everything to be their friend. I try to lick their face, sniff their butt, nip their tail, etc. But all they do is hiss and swipe at me. It's been a year now and I'm really getting frustrated. What should I do?

Sincerely,
Secret Kitty Lover
---------------
Tikka,

You asked me what you should do about your "cat-brats". Well, my advice would be to....

Maybe just try to leave them alone. Or, if maybe your parents try to teach you to do cat-like things, then maybe they'll interact and like you more. What you do to them, is more for dogs. Try to act like a cat would act if they were meeting you, as a cat. Or if not, I think just give up.

Yes, lots of dogs wish their "cat-brats" would play with them, I don't think anybody really knows the answer. Well, I hoped I helped a little bit!

Al
_________________

This is really great advice! I'm going to use my Ninja Mind Control techniques to really get inside their head. I can learn to act like a cat! Pretty soon those cat-brats will be fawning over me and grooming me...I'll have them eating out of the palm of my paw! HAHAHAHAHA!

Meeeoowww,
Tikka

Zen Doggie Question of the Week

Master, why is it that humans at the dog park know all the doggies names, but don't know each other's name? They say things like, Bevo's daddy...or Bradley's mommy. Isn't this quite strange?

Zen Master Tikka: Better to see the face than to hear the name.

(Zen)

What a Grrreat weekend!

Where shall I start?....let's see...first of all my mommy's only nephew got married. He is just 19 years old and his (now) wife is 18 years old, pups themselves, really. Since I have excellent canine hearing I was able to get the scoop on all the drama leading up to the nuptials....but I won't tell! I will say that it all worked out in the end.

But the best part is this...DOGGIE TRAINING WAS CANCELLED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOROOOO! YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!

Then....mom fed me a raw chicken thigh and leg. At first I wasn't sure what to do with it. I have just one thing to say about a raw, organic chicken leg....

D.E.L.I.C.I.O.U.S.

Oh, yeah, and one more thing....KIBBLE SUCKS!!! I'm a Shiba Inu for doG's sake, I should have been eating the good stuff all along!

I finally convinced mom to buy a digital camera for me. I was getting kind of embarrassed that all the other pups on Dogster had such great pictures. I, on the other hand, was stuck with a bunch of lousy photos, taken by mom's camcorder that was bought, like, ten years ago, and could only manage about 2.0 pixels. How did I do it? They way any self-respecting only pup would....I went to daddy. I told him that mom said it was o.k. if he said it was o.k. and Voila!

I want to put more pics on my page, but it takes a long time to upload, so keep checking back for new ones. Mom is sooooo 20th century and CHEAP! Now, I just have to get her to upgrade us to broadband! Woof!

Have a great day!

Tikka

Relationships.....hmmmm

I am so HAPPY today! My good friend from Bad Dog Chronicles has joined Dogster! YEAHHHHH! Her name is Sarah Smartypants, Nipper of Noses. Check out her webpage, she is a BEAUTY and really, really funny and clever! I'm an only pup, but if I could have a Big Sis', it would definitely be her!

http://www.dogster.com/dogs/551796

I also recently found another pal from BDC. His name is Bryan, the Siberian Husky....ohh, he is to woof-for HANDSOME! And such a rascal!

I'm something of a playgirl, you know, a pup in every port, if you will. I'm not down with the clingy relationship thing, but I have to say that Huskies are HOT!! Ohhhh, they just have that wild, undomesticated, bad boy look about them. Soooo sexy!

Anyway....I also have my BFF. His name is Mojo the Boston Terrier. He is also quite handsome and VERY well-built. I love him, but I don't love him in THAT way! He's been my best friend since I was four months old and he's the only one who really knows how to play Commando (aka--AKC Smackdown). We have playdates at the dog park almost every Saturday AND he's coming to stay with me at the end of the month, when his pawrents go on vacation. WOOF! Mojo's a lover (of humans, he likes to play fetch and all that) and he slobbers A LOT, especially on ME. But I don't mind (well, I try not to, I'm quite fastidious, but his mommy always brings a towel to wipe me down.)

Well, I'd like to say more, but I have to get mommy off to work, she is SUCH a dawdler. I need her to go make money so she can buy me more ZEALIES!

Documentation of a SERIOUS Event

Now that I have my diary, I felt it necessary to document an event that happened a couple of months ago. Although I am a skilled Ninja Warrior Doggie and can take care of myself quite well, there is an assassin lurking, so this is my way to ensure that if anything happens to me, my doggie pals will insist on an investigation to find the criminal responsible. I will tell you now, the main suspect will be my cat-brat RAY-RAY!!

BACKGROUND:

Ray-ray is the evil minion of my Daddy. Ray-ray thinks he's the boss of everybody, including ME! He has a sour attitude and a mean, mean disposition, yet he is the darling of mommy and daddy 'cause they rescued him and his litter from the shelter and fostered him when he was only 3 weeks old. Ever since I arrived, I have always had to protect MY things. He drinks from my water bowl with impunity, snuggles up with MY mommy & daddy, he thinks my treats are always for him, so I have to be on guard and patrol constantly to make sure he doesn't come anywhere near MY STUFF (I've also been known to antagonize and tease him until he gets crazy mad). I tell you, it's a tough job. It's a good thing I'm agile and fast (way faster than him) or I would have been done-for in my puppyhood.

THE SERIOUS EVENT:

One day, mommy and I were playing Commando. It's my favorite game. It's rough and tumble and I get to run around the house and be crazy. Evidently, mean, mean Ray-ray didn't care for our rough housing and blamed ME!! So, as I was running away from mommy and preparing for a frontal attack, Ray-Ray lept out from NOWHERE, it's like he came out of the sky! I was NOT prepared for this unprovoked assault!

Well, I RAN! I ran around the the kitchen island, hoping to get him off of my tail. Well, he changed direction and cut me off! YIKES!!! I tried to make a U-turn, but the tile was slick and I couldn't get traction.....

Cat-brat caught me by my hind quarters and flipped me like a baby Gazelle. As I am laying on my side, HELPLESS, he jumps on my side (all ten pounds of him) and starts shredding my coat with all four paws, hissing and spitting. My fur was flying everywhere!! It was the END OF ME!!! All I could do was lay there with my four little paws flailing wildly in the air, going "ARF!, ARF!, ARF!"

All of this happened in a matter of seconds! Well, as soon as mommy recovered from the shock of it, she rescued me. It's a good thing I have a double coat AND mommy keeps the cat-brats claws cut. I didn't have a scratch on me, except for the PTSD and my wounded pride. Especially since mommy laughed her ass off once she saw that I wasn't hurt! Grrrrrr!

So there's my story and now you know why there is a ban on hostile relations in my house....

Duly signed and noted,
Tikka

Zen Doggie Question of the Week

Student: Master, how shall I get my bones and delicious star and rosette cookies from the little blue box above?

Zen Master Tikka: To a mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders.

(Chuang-tzu)

My First Week on Dogster!

Last week was just a whirl of social activity. To tell you the truth, I'm exhausted, whew! It's ALMOST as fun as the dogpark, WOOF!

I made so many new doggie furriends, read so many stories...my humans restricted my computer time 'cause I was on line so much. NO FAIR!! The problem would be solved if they would do the right thing and get their own computer and stop using MINE!

Mommy sez I have more pals than she does. Tsk, tsk, mommy, jealousy is sooo unbecoming! As I always say to my humans, "Don't hate the player, hate the game!" BOL...

Doggie high fives to all my new pup pals! Catch ya later...

Tikka

Training Day

Well, doggie trainer-man got bit by a Pikanese, today. I'm GLAD! He's lucky I didn't bite him, too, he's ruining my mommy! Today, we learned how to walk on a leash. What?! I KNOW how to walk on a leash:

1. Jump out of the car as fast as you can before mommy's ready.

2. Stay as far ahead as the stupid leash will allow.

3. If the mommy doesn't walk fast enough (like to the dog park), get real low and do the "shiba swim" to haul her along faster. She should really be running to get me there in a more timely manner, I shouldn't have to choke myself half to death!

4. Stop and smell EVERYTHING.

5. Stop and greet every doggie (it's so rude not to).

Evidently, none of those things are allowed, can you believe it! Walk next to mommy, pay attention to mommy, look only at mommy, blah, blah, blah.

Arrrggghhh, I'm countin' the days...6 more sessions left...

I've Been Tagged!!

Wow, I just got here and I was tagged! Thanks, Cosmo! What Fun!

RULES OF THE GAME:

Each player starts with seven random facts about themselves. Dogs who are tagged, need to post in their diary the rules and their 7 pawsome facts. Then choose some dogs to tag and list their names. Don’t forget to bark them a pmail that they have been tagged and to read your diary, or, send them a fun Rosette announcing they've been Tagged!

Here's some fun facts about me, me, wonderful me...

1. I secretly love my cat-brats (Don't EVER tell!)
2. When I run really, really fast, my tail uncurls like a party favor
3. I'm fearless, 'cept when it comes to the Big Red Monster (vac. cleaner)
4. I HATE stinky things, e.g. garbage, bathrooms, the CATBOX (yuck!)
5. I prefer being outside, but mommy makes me come in to "bond" w/the family.
6. I've given mommy two dead birds as a present (not that she appreciated it, hmph!)
7. The party doesn't start, 'til I get to the dogpark!

TAG! You're it.. (sorry, if you've been tagged already, I tried to check)

Brand E - http://www.dogster.com/dogs/487034
Mika & Tsuki - http://www.dogster.com/dogs/453405
Sushi - http://www.dogster.com/dogs/116999
Paige - http://www.dogster.com/dogs/400956