A Dog's Dictonary...

Leash: A strap that attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your owner where you want him or her to go. Make sure that you are waiting patiently with leash in mouth when your owner comes home from work. This immediatly makes your owner feel guilty and the walk is lengthened by a good 10 minutes.

Dog Bed: Any soft, clean surface, such as a white bedspread, newly upholstered couch or the dry cleaning that was just picked up.

Drool: What you do when your owners have food and you don't.To do this properly, sit as close as you can, look sad and let the drool fall to the floor or better yet on their laps.

Sniff: A social custom to use when you greet other dogs or those people that sometimes smell like dogs.

Garbage Can: A container your neighbors put out weekly to test your ingenuity.Stand on your hind legs and push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right, you are rewarded with food wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume, moldy crusts of bread and sometimes even an old Nike.

Bicycles: Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards. The rider swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away.

Thunder: A signal the world is coming to an end. Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling, panting, rolling your eyes wildly and following at their heels.

Wastebasket: A dog toy filled with paper, envelopes and old candy wrappers. When you get bored, turn over the basket and strew the papers all over the house. This is particularly fun to do when there are guests for dinner and you prance around with the contents of that very special bathroom wastepaper basket!

Sofas: Are to dogs like napkins are to people. After eating it is polite to run up and down the front of the sofa and wipe your whiskers clean. If there are people sitting on the couch just include them as a handy wipe.

Bath: A process owners use to clean you, drench the floor, walls and themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently.

Lean: Every good dog's response to the command "sit," especially if your owner is dressed for an evening out. Incredibly effective before black-tie events.


Love: A feeling of intense affection, given freely and without restriction, shared by you and your owner. Show it by wagging your tail

Life lessons learned from a dog...

1. If you stare at someone long enough, eventually you'll get what you want.

2. Don't go out without ID.

3. Be direct with people- let them know exactly how you feel by peeingon their shoes.

4. Be aware of when to hold your tongue, and when to use it.

5. Leave room in your schedule for a good nap.

6. Always give people a friendly greeting- a cold nose in the crotch is most effective.

7. When you do something wrong, always take responsibility (as soon as you're dragged shamefully out from under the bed).

8. If it's not wet and sloppy, it's not a real kiss.

Jake's song...

I'm a Retriever
by The Big Dogs


I thought tricks were meant for other dogs
For poodles and for shepherds but not for me
Chasing balls was stupid: that's the way it seems
Better tohave exciting dreams

Then I saw the ball: now I'm a retriever
Without a trace of doubt in my mind
I'll chase it... woof!
I'm gonna retrieve it I couldn't leave it if I tried

I thought prey was supposed to be a living thing
Seems the more I chased the less I ate
What's the use in trying? I'm not in the mood
When I needed meat I got dog food

Then I saw the ball: now I'm a retriever
Without a trace of doubt in my mind
I'll chase it... woof!
I'm gonna retrieve it I couldn't leave it if I tried

Chasing balls was stupid: that's the way it seems
Better to have exciting dreams

Then I saw the ball: now I'm a retriever
Without a trace of doubt in my mind
I'll chase it... woof!
I'm gonna retrieve it I couldn't leave it if I tried

Yes I saw the ball: now I'm a retriever
Without a trace of doubt in my mind
I'm a retriever...
I'm a retriever...
I'm a retriever...
I'm a retriever...

Summer Tag Game... I wonder if there's food involved- somewhere?!? :D

Well, would you believe there is a summer tag game going around Dogster? My little bratty sissy Harmony has tagged me for this game....here we go again, BOL!

The Rules:
Make a diary entry giving 5 pawsome facts about yourself and tag 5 friends with a rosette or pmail (list them last) and post the rules of the game. BTW: You may want to check your furends diaries that you are going to tag to make sure they didn't get tagged already.

1. I found out that if you swallow a baby carrot whole... it comes out the same way! ewww... GROSS! :O

2. I also found out recently that if you swallow a hard-boiled egg whole that it DOESN'T come out the same way... but gives the worst gas ever! pee-uuu!

3. I found out about #1 and #2 because I learned to counter-surf when Mom was out of town and Dad left food out and walked away. Dumb Daddy!

4. I have a bee-u-t-ful grrrlfurend named Sparkles... but I nicknamed her Dollface. We share lots of bowls of Butter Pecan Ice Cream with extra whippy cream and cherries... in between smoocheroos that is! ;) ooh-la-la!

5. I am a true WATERDOGGER! I'm in the pool day AND night and don't get out unless Mom bribes me with food and then locks me in the house (I used to open the back door with my paw but the parents just installed a new handle that I can't pick... bummer)! I LOOOOOOVE WATER!

I'm only tagging my sweet grrrlfurend Sparkles since I know that everypup will get tagged at least 10 times before the summer tagging ends! BOL!

Famous Quotes about Dogs!

" He is your friend, your partner,
your defender, your dog.
You are his life, his love, his leader. He will
be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat
of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of
such devotion."

Unknown




" To err is human,
to forgive canine."


Unknown




"If there are no dogs in Heaven,
then when I die I want to go
where they went."

Will Rogers, 1897-1935





"A dog is 'almost human' and I know of no greater
insult to the canine race than to describe it as such."


John Holmes






"Man is troubled by what might be called the Dog Wish,
a strange and involved compulsion to be as happy and
carefree as a dog."


James Thurber - And So To Medve





"If you pick up a starving Dog and make him prosperous,
he will not bite you.
This is the principal difference between
a dog and a man..."


Mark Twain





"Nobody can fully understand the meaning of love unless
he's owned a dog. A dog can show you more honest
affection with a flick of his tail than a man can
gather through a lifetime of handshakes."

Gene Hill - The Dog Man





"The dog has seldom been successful in pulling man
up to his level of sagacity, but man has frequently
dragged the dog down to his."

James Thurber





"Histories are more full of the examples
of the fidelity of dogs than of friends."

Alexander Pope





"All knowledge, the totality of all questions
and answers, is contained in the dog."

Franz Kafka - Investigations of the dog





"Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies,
quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love
and always have to mix love and hate."

Sigmund Freud





"Plus je vois l'homme,
plus j'aimie mon chien"

Pascal





"Dogs are our link to paradise. They don't know
evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog
on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back
in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring--
it was peace."

Milan Kundera





"The poor dog, in life the the firmest friend,
The first to welcome, foremost to defend,
Whose honest heart is still the master's own,
Who labours, fights, lives, breathes for him alone,
Unhonour'd falls, unnoticed all his worth,
Denied in heaven the soul he held on earth,
While man, vain insect hopes to be forgiven,
And claims himself a sole exclusive heaven."

Lord Byron
Inscription on the monument of his
Newfoundland dog, 1808





"The bond with a true dog is as lasting as the ties
of this earth will ever be."

Konrad Lorenz
Man Meets Dog






"The fate of animals is of greater importance to me
than the fear of appearing ridiculous;
it is indissolubly connected with the fate of men."

- Emile Zola (1840-1902)





"I am I because my little dog knows me"
- Gertrude Stein





"Until one has loved an animal
a part of one's soul remains unawakened"

Anatole France





"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy
licking your face."

Bern Williams





" No Matter how little money and how few possessions,
you own, having a dog makes you rich."

Louis Sabin
All About Dogs As Pets





"Who kicks a dog kicks his own soul towards hell"

Will Judy





"No animal I know of can consistently be more of
a friend and companion than a dog."

Stanley Leinwoll





"The one absolutely unselfish friend that man can
have in this selfish world, the one that never
deserts him, the one that never proves ungrateful
or treacherous, is his dog."

George Graham Vest





The Best Part About Owning A Dog...

... is the way he will come over to see me,
for no reason, just to let me know I'm
important to him
... is the way he is always ready to lick the
jelly off my nose...
... is the way he looks into my eyes and finds
contentment in simply being near me
... is the way he will run all over the yard,
fetch a soggy tennis ball and bring it back
to me as if to say "look mom, it's all have,
but it's yours
... is the way he wakes me up in the morning by pushing
his cold wet nose in my ear and snuffing loudly
... is the way he shreds toilet paper all over the house,
because it's fun even though he knows he shouldn't
... is the way he's sure he can catch the ducks in the
lake today...
... is the way he comes over to me when he is sad
... is the way he wedges himself near me when I am sad and
push all others away, to console me with his love
... is the way he pounces on crickets in the backyard
... is the way he looks perplexed when they escape
... is the way he is terrified of the evil pink hula hoop
... is the way he doesn't mind how much of that horrid
perfume I'm wearing just because it was a gift from
my relative who's visiting
... is the way he doesn't care about bad hair day or
overdue bills
... is the way he loves you, even when you are impatient
with him and have no time this morning for a game
of tug-a-war
... is the way his coat feels like liquid silk under
my fingers
... is the way he finds wisdom beyond words

Unknown





"Happiness is a warm puppy."

Charles Schulz





"We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare
and love we can spare.
And in return, dogs give us their all.
It's the best deal man has ever made."

M.Facklam





"He is your friend, your partner, your defender,
your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader.
He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last
beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy
of such devotion."

Unknown





"Dogs' lives are too short. Their only fault, really."
-Agnes Sligh Turnbull






Children and dogs are as necessary to the welfare of
our country as Wall Street and the railroads."
Harry S. Truman





From time to time, people tell me,
"lighten up, it's just a dog,"
or, "that's a lot of money for just a dog."
They don't understand the distance traveled,
the time spent, or the costs involved for
"just a dog."
Some of my proudest moments have come about with
"just a dog."
Many hours have passed and my only company was
"just a dog,"
but I did not once feel slighted.
Some of my saddest moments have been brought about by
"just a dog,"
and in those days of darkness,
the gentle touch of "just a dog"
gave me comfort and reason to overcome the day.
If you, too, think it's "just a dog,"
then you will probably understand phases
like "just a friend," "just a sunrise," or
"just a promise."
"Just a dog" brings into my life the very essence
of friendship, trust, and pure unbridled joy.
"Just a dog" brings out the compassion and
patience that make me a better person.
Because of "just a dog" I will rise early,
take long walks and look longingly to the future.
So for me and folks like me, it's not "just a dog"
but an embodiment of all the hopes and dreams
of the future, the fond memories of the past,
and the pure joy of the moment.
"Just a dog" brings out what's good in me and
diverts my thoughts away from myself and the
worries of the day.
I hope that someday they can understand that
it's not "just a dog"
but the thing that gives me humanity and keeps
me from being "just a man."
So the next time you hear the phrase "just a dog."
just smile, because they "just don't understand."

Sandra Dee Adopted Shepherd Mix, Born May 2004.

To My Sweet Momma's Boy...

MY HEART BELONGS TO MY LABRADOR RETRIEVER

The Labrador Retriever-
Magnificent to see,
Courageous and protective,
Yet gentle as can be.

Patient and intelligent,
Delightful to behold-
A kind and gentle spirit,
With a heart of purest gold.

The Labrador Retriever-
A friend that can't be beat,
Being loved by a BIG "Lab"
Has made my life complete.

Mommy loves her Sugar Cookie!
xoxoxoxoxo Happy 4th of July!

Tagged by Harmony

She got tagged a lot so she's sharing the love. I won't tag me buds though since she's been tagged so much. I'm sure most of us have.

My 7 interesting things:

1. I snore (loudly).

2. I can clear a room and peel paint (that's what Mommy claims) when I "cut the cheese".

3. With regards to #2 above, they are audible. Mommy says I sound like an old man when I toot.

4. I'm a full fledged Mama's Boy. I follow her everywhere and whine if she goes behind a closed door until she lets me in with her. (I am a rescue and didn't have a very good first 2 years of life so after Mommy adopted me I want to be with her as much as possible.)

5. I know how to open doors with my nose.

6. I know how to pick the dog food bin lock.

7. I HATE going on a diet after I've gorged myself from doing #6.

Just who invented dog shampoo anyway?!?

I got a dumb bath today! I was nice and dirty- took my time getting that way too. I was also smelling of last nights chicken that I took out of the trash can to roll around on and wouldn't ya know... I had to fall for the ol' "come in the shower to get a cookie trick"! Oldest trick in the book and I fall for it everytime! Sheesh! Oh well, there's always tomorrow and there's always dirt just below the flower beds for me to dig up, maybe if we go thru this routine enough times my Mommy will run out of shampoo and then I won't have to get a bath! Woo Hoo! The thought process of a yellow lab is truly amazing isn't it!?!?