November 28th 2007 5:04 am
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Dear Santa Paws
As you probably know I have NOT been a very good boy this year. I will not bore you with a list of my trangressions. BUT, since I was unaware of the 'good boy all year' rule until recently, I wanted to be sure that you know that I intend to mend my ways ASAP. I have compiled a list of things that I need to remember to be a 'good boy'. I am sending it to you in the hopes that you might be persuaded to leave a floating toy in my stocking. Here is my list:
1 I will not eat the cats' food before he eats it or after he throws it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'. Neither are Dad's pants!!!!
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an VERY UNACCEPTABLE way of saying "hello". So is running as fast as I can, jumping and landing in their laps.
8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that interesting noise, it's usually not a good thing.
13.Listen to Mom and Dad, or at least act like I am paying attention.
I will be studying this every morning.
Thank you Santa Paws for reading my letter and not just laughing hysterically and tossing it when you saw the return address.
Love and Sloppy Labbie Kisses
Well Santa, it light of some recent developments if seems that I must amend my original list. I have added the following items:
14. I will not make a mid morning snack out of Dad's new EXPENSIVE !! motorcycle boots. (although, no one seemed to appreciate that I ate them in my crate to save Mom the added chore of clean up).
15. I will not hold the cat's head down under the water in the water bowl. ( I was only trying to aid him in drinking faster, I was thirsty.) Note to self: Cats can NOT breath underwater.
Thank you again Santa :-))
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