Happy Birthday to meeeeee!

Arrrrrrrrrrroooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I'm so happy! Today is my third birthday, mom says that makes me 21 in people years so it's an extra special birthday.

I'm going to be spoiled rotten

How Many Dogs Does It Take to Change A Light Bulb?

Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

Rottweiler: Make me.

Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!

German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.

Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.

Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb!

Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.

Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there.....

Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

Australian Kelpie: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...

Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

Aaaaaaand last but not least....
Beagle (with a suspicious bulge in its tummy): What light bulb?

Whoever said "LET SLEEPING DOGS LIE" didn't sleep with dogs

The first thing you discover when you bring a dog onto your bed is the
striking difference in weight between an alert, awake dog and a dog at
rest.

Rule Number One: The deeper the sleep the heavier the dog.

Most people who sleep with dogs develop spinal deformities rather than
rent the heavy equipment necessary to move their snoring canines to a
more appropriate part of the bed. Cunning canines steal precious space
in tiny increments until they have achieved the center position on the
bed - with all covers carefully tucked under them for safekeeping. The
stretch and roll method is very effective in gaining territory. Less
subtle tactics are sometimes preferred. A jealous dog can worm his way
between a sleeping couple and, with the proper spring action from all
four legs, shove a sleeping human to the floor.

Rule Number Two: Dogs possess superhuman strength while on a bed.
As you cling to the edge of the bed, wishing you had covers, your sweet
pup begins to snore at a volume you would not have thought possible.
Once that quiets down, the dog dreams begin. Yipping, growling, running,
kicking. Your bed becomes a battlefield and playground of canine
fantasy. It starts out with a bit of "sleep running", lots of eye
movement and then, suddenly, a shrieking howl blasted through the night
like a banshee wail. The horror of this wake-up call haunts you for
years. It's particularly devastating when your pup insists on sleeping
curled around your head like a demented Daniel Boone cap.

Rule Number Three: The deeper the sleep, the louder the dog.

The night creeps on and you fall asleep in the three inches of bed not
claimed by a dog. The dog dreams quiet slightly and the heap of dogflesh
sleeps breathing heavily and passing wind. Then, too soon, it's dawn and
the heap stirs. Each dog has a distinctive and unpleasant method of
waking the pack. One may position itself centimeters from a face and
stare until you wake. The clever dog obtains excellent results by
simply sneezing on your face, or they could romp all over your sleeping
bodies - or the ever-loving insertion of a tongue in an unsuspecting
ear.

Rule Number Four: When the dog wakes - you wake.

So, why do we put up with this? There's no sane reason. Perhaps it's
just that we're a pack and a pack heaps together at night - safe,
contented, heavy and loud.

Author Unknown

Why dogs don't live as long as people

A Dog’s Purpose - from a 4-year old . . .
Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a tenyear
old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog’s owners,
Ron, his wife, Lisa, and their little boy, Shane, were all
very attached to Belker and they were hoping for a
miracle.

I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I
told the family we couldn’t do anything for Belker, and
offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old
dog in their home.

As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they
thought it would be good for the four-year old Shane to
observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might
learn something from the experience.

The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as
Belker’s family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm,
petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if
he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes,
Belker slipped peacefully away. The little boy seemed to
accept Belker’s transition without any difficulty or
confusion.

We sat together for a while after Belker’s death,
wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are
shorter than human lives. Shane, who had been listening
quietly, piped up, "I know why."

Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his
mouth next stunned me. I’d never heard a more
comforting explanation. He said, "People are born so
that they can learn how to live a good life --like loving
everybody all the time and being nice, right?" The fouryear-
old continued, "Well, dogs already know how to do
that, so they don’t have to stay as long."

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly.

October Doggie Horoscopes

OCTOBER HOROSCOPES



ARIES - 3/21-4/19 Courageous; Energetic; Impulsive; Optimistic

OK you little bundle of energy…Madame Suki says, “enough is enough”!! You have had a very busy summer and now is the time to kick back, relax, and give your person some breathing room. Remember this is the time of year most animals are storing up on their fat for hibernation. It wont hurt you to put on a few pounds. Besides you know how much you love your spicy flavored treats….so stop running and start begging!!!

TAURUS – 4/20-5/20 Affectionate; Dependable; Patient; Stable

You are looking forward to a long cold winter doing what you love best…curled up in front of the TV watching the animal and nature shows. But face it my Taurean pup, dogs don’t have thumbs. I know you want to take possession of everything in the house but you really must give up control of the remote if you ever want to watch a different channel.

GEMINI – 5-21/6-21 Adaptable; Intellectual; Lively; Versatile

My busy little Gemini pup…this is your month to romp. With the cooler weather, and more time to spend with you, your person will be taking you to new and exciting places. Count on long car rides, your favorite, and overnight stays with friends and family. Just remember to be on your best behavior or you may not be invited to visit again.


CANCER – 6-22/7-22 Imaginative; Loyal; Receptive; Sensitive

Sweet mellow Cancer, this will be a cozy, peaceful month for you. Madame Suki sees a rather quiet October with lots of time to curl up with your person for hugs and kisses. Maybe a new fuzzie or two will find its way into your toy collection much to your delight. Don’t worry too much about those funny looking creatures that come to the door at the end of the month. While disturbing, they will go away quickly after your person gives them some candy.


LEO – 7/23-8/22 Creative; Exuberant; Generous; Powerful

Leo, this is your month to shine!! Given your desire to be the center of attention, and your naturaly ability to be the star of every show, expect attention from all sides. Be it a win at the dog show, 1st place in the agility contest, or “best costume” at the Halloween Doggie Fair, you will definitely win the hearts and praises of everyone around you. You couldn’t be happier!!!


VIRGO – 8-23/9-22 Analytical; Conscientious; Modest; Practical

Madams Suki knows you love routine. You enjoy eating at the same time every day and going on those regular walkies. Well good news! Happily your hum drum routine life will not be changing at all this month. And, the Magic Hedgehog tells me it will be a dry month so you do not even have to worry about getting those twinkle toes wet and muddy. A true Virgoan dream come true!!!

LIBRA –9-23/10-22 Artistic; Charming; Diplomatic; Easygoing

What a wonderful month ahead for you my Libra doggie. First a trip to the groomer/doggie day spa for fluffing and puffing is at hand. You will come home looking more beautiful than you are now….if that is possible. At the end of the month you will look especially gorgeous in that Halloween costume your person has found for you. A superhero for you boy dogs and a fairy princess for you bitches. Trick or Treat!!!


SCORPIO –10-23/11-21 Idealistic; Passionate; Persistent; Subtle

As a Scorpio pup you tend to either love or hate someone. This month is no different. You will meet some very strange people towards the end of the month. While your person will welcome them with open arms and even give them presents you are a tad bit more unsure of these creatures. The fairy princess and the lady bug are awful cute and fun but you would much rather take a bite out of the vampire and the evil looking pirate. Luckily you wont see them again for at least a year.


SAGITTARIUS- 11/22-12/20 Lucky, Intelligent, Active, Brave

“Let the Good Times Roll”…that is your theme song. Always up for a good time, this month is no exception. And there will be plenty of good times ahead. Lots of play days in the park, doggie friends stopping by to say hi, and overnight visits to new and exciting places. Perhaps the funnest time of all will be marching in the Doggie Halloween Parade with your other K-9 friends. Madame Suki sees you all dressed up as a Hot Dog, Super Hero, or a Fairy Princess. You may even win a “Best Costume” prize.


CAPRICORN –12-21/1-19 Determined; Disciplined; Patient; Steady

The older you get, the younger you feel!! That’s you dear Capricorn pup. As the temperature cools, the brisk air brings out the puppy in you. Madame Suki sees lots of play time, diving in the leaves and chasing the squirrels as they gather nuts for the long hard winter ahead. However, you need to listen to your person a little better. When he says its time to stop playing and go inside you need to listen and not be so stubborn. There may be some special treats waiting for you.


AQUARIUS –1-20/2-18 Friendly; Independent; Inventive; Original

The best way to describe you my Aquarian friend is totally bonkers!! Your erratic personality, barkiness, and love of freedom always keep your person guessing. They are never quite sure what you are going to do next. This month is no different. So for the Aquaran doggie owner expect the unexpected. They will eat with gusto tonight and turn their nose up at their food tomorrow. They don’t want pats and loving today but want to be cuddles forever tomorrow. Just go with the flow…and enjoy owning this unpredictable pup.


PISCES –2/19-3/20 Compassionate; Emotional; Romantic; Mystical

This month my Pisces pet your intuitive skills are in high gear. You correctly sense your person is out of sorts and needs some extra attention. So be on your best behavior and give lots of kisses and gentle head butts to your loved one. It will make them feel much better!! You might even encourage them to take part in a tug of war or some ball play. Remember it is all about them this month!!

You know you're a dog person when....

You have a kiddie wading pool in the yard, but no small children.

Lintwheels are on your shopping list every week.

You have baby gates permanently installed at strategic places around the house, but no babies.

The trash basket is more or less permanently installed in the kitchen sink, to keep the dog out of it while you're at work.

You refer to yourselves as Mommy and Daddy.

Your dog sleeps with you.

Poop has become a source of conversation for you and your significant other.

You can't see out the passenger side of the windshield because there are nose-prints all over the inside.

You have 32 different names for your dog. Most make no sense, but she understands.

Your dog eats cat poop, but you still let her kiss you (but not immediately afterward, of course).

You like people who like your dog. You despise people who don't.

You carry dog biscuits in your purse or pocket at all times.

You talk about your dog the way other people talk about their kid.

You sign and send birthday/anniversary/Christmas cards from your dog.

You put an extra blanket on the bed so your dog can be comfortable.

You'd rather stay home on Saturday night and cuddle your dog than go to the movies with your sweetie.

Top 10 PET's Peeves

1. Blaming your farts on me...
not funny.. not funny at all !!!

2. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip",
then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!


3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out...
Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose...
Stop it!

5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons...
Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.

6. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw.
You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain.

7. Yelling at me for barking...
I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG, YOU IDIOT!

8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry,
but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

9. Dog sweaters? Hello ???...
Haven't you noticed the fur?

10. How you act disgusted when I lick myself.
Look, we both know the truth, you're just jealous.

Now lay off me on some of these things.
We both know who's boss here!!!
You don't see me picking up your poop do you ???

Humility

The Gates of Heaven were guarded by St. Peter. Four canine friends approached and stood waiting for permission to enter. They were asked for an account of themselves.

The poodle was first and, leaping forward proudly, he said, "I am the showman, winning many prizes for my beauty. See how fine I am? There was none better than I in my prime. I was my master's pride and joy." He demonstrated his fine show stance.

Next, the Labrador, black and glossy: "I am the Field Champion, keen for the gun, never missing a bird. I worked hard for my master."

Then the German Shepherd, keen and alert. "I guarded my masters, keeping them safe. No strange foot trod the paths without my permission. They feared not with me around."

"And you sir," said St Peter, "come forward to me. What of you?" The dog replied, "I am a Beagle—maybe not so good, I confess. I pursued the cat, fell to temptation, and stole food. I forgot to return to my masters' call, leaving them to worry, then showed my disapproval at being left alone by chewing their shoes. Oh, and there was also my bad habit of barking at the garbage collectors...."

"But what did you give them?" asked St. Peter.

"What did I give them? I gave them light in their eyes and laughter in their voices."

St. Peter opened the gates and waved the Beagle through.

God and the beagle

On the first day of creation, God created the beagle.
On the second day, God created man to serve the beagle.
On the third day, God created all the animals of the earth to serve as potential food for the beagle.
On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that man could labor for the good of the beagle.
On the fifth day, God created the tennis ball so that the beagle might or might not retrieve it.
On the sixth day, God created veterinary science to keep the beagle healthy and the man broke.
On the seventh day, God tried to rest, but He had to walk the beagle.

It's 9AM...do you know where your dog is?

After I noticed things were suspiciously quiet I started looking around for Abby and where do I find her but still in bed sleeping of course...it is 9am on weekend..I guess everyone likes to sleep in occasionally.
(click links for pictures)
http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h314/JamieCrist en/Abby/100_0911.jpg


She popped her head up when I pulled the covers off of her
http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h314/JamieCristen/Abb y/100_0912.jpg


and then laid right back down, where she still is half an hour later... I was nice and bundled her up again
http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h314/JamieCristen/Abby/1 00_0914.jpg