July 1st 2006 8:32 pm
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Well, we were off to the dog park again today. I don't mind the trip down, I like that part, but the whole dog park thing, I could live without. I don't think the owners realize the trauma for a dog like me coming from the depths of east LA like I did. Anyways, I don't complain because it's a hell of a lot better than staying at home with Bitchy Bear in the cage. Plus, I love making the owners pick up my poop outside the house, it's so fun to squeeze a nice big juicy one out that smears all over the sidewalk.

Back to my story, so the dog park today was pretty scary. There are alot of big dogs today and I think I might have seen a wolf. Well, we are sitting there and all of a sudden the owner walks to the middle of the park. What do I do? Do I stay or do I go? If I stay, there is no one to protect me. If I go, I could risk being run over. It is such a hard decision, I can't believe it! Does the owner understand what she is doing to me. So inconsiderate! I finally decide that I will go and follow her. Big mistake! HUGE! The before mentioned wolf sees me and I swear, I must have had "lunch" tattooed on my ass. It took the wolf like three seconds to put me in his mouth. Literally! I know what you are thinking, "no way, you are lying." But, I speak the truth, I have the teeth mark on my head to prove it. I kept looking for the owner, but she wasn't helping me. Finally, she sees me and grabs me from the jaws of death. I was so happy. I couldn't stop shaking. My head was killing me. I had the worst headache. I felt like someone was sucking my brains out with a straw.

The next day, we returned to the park. I thought the owners talked about holding me, but one of them put me down. How dare she! And wouldn't you know it, it happened again. "dessert" must have been tattooed on my ass today. Luckily, they noticed quickly and I got rescued and held the rest of the time. Damn, will they ever learn? Am I going to have to lose a limb or an organ for them to get it? I am starting to suspect they have something in for me. I heard the mention of a puppy the other day. They even have a name picked out, "Dirk Diggler", "Diggy", for short...What are they thinking? I must have a secret meeting with Louie and see if he thinks something is up too. This is quite disheartening.