April 18th 2006 10:17 pm
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Some of you may have seen this before, it's always good for a chuckle......
7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mum! My favorite!
7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
11pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!
Day 483 of my captivity...
My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the
mild satisfaction that I get from clawing their furniture.
Tomorrow I will eat another houseplant.
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet
while they were walking almost succeeded - must try this at the top
of the stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once
again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. I must remember
to try this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt
to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear
in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good
little cat I was. Hmmm, that did not work according to plan...
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed
in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and
smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was
due to my powers of inducing "allergies." I must learn what this is
and how I may use it to my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.
The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is
obviously a half-wit.
The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks
with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his
current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.
But I have patience, I can wait, it is only a matter of time...
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