Chapter 4 DOG ZEN FOR HUMANS

I'm planning on starting an organization designed for the betterment of all Humans through association with their Dogs, but more on that later.
Cheese and Rice!!! I just realized how long it's been since my last entry! Kiaya is older now than I was when I last wrote. Wait - how can that work.... that's not right.....yea - she is!! Dog, where has the time gone?
Time to get a little caught up.
Well, I'm very well adjusted to having Kiaya around (see previous entries)- after all she's been living here now for over four years. She ain't going nowhere. I better be adjusted!! Now I miss her when she goes to the Vet's for barking out loud! I really get jealous cuz she's going for a ride in the truck and I'm not - but when I smell all that medical vapor, rubber gloves and shot residue in her coat when she gets back I think - "better you than me girl!!" Just catching a wiff is enough to strike fear in my heart. I can't stand going to the Vets. Kiaya acts like it's no big deal - I hate it when she does that.
I am rather fond of the girl now. Quite often we romp in the back yard - I'll chase her and then I'll let her chase me. I show off for my Humans and fly like the wind. I'm a blur of golden fur bounding across the yard! Well in my mind anyway - I have slowed down a little bit.
Unfortunately while Kiaya was getting older so was I - Dog - I'm about to turn eight years in another month. I can't believe it. But I still have all my own teeth, I'm not so much as a pound overweight, and I'm still like a puppy when it comes to tummy rubs.
Like my Human that likes to think he's "Alpha Male" (yea right) I'm getting more into being an activist as time goes on. I've talked it over with some of the pups in the neighborhood and we all agree that Humans are really getting to the point where they don't quite have all their paws on the grass, they have a food bowl but there's nothing in the dish, they - well you catch my scent. Seems like every Human I know seems to have just stepped in it.
Look, I see what's on TV. All the political bickering - one pees on this guy and the other pees back.
The wars. They destroy each others homes for barking out loud! What would drive a Human to do that? They argue over some black gunk in the ground, glass boxes that catch sunlight, or fans in the sky. They argue on TV, radio, in the newspaper and on the internet. They blow things up in places no dog or Human for that matter has heard of. They can't agree on anything.
Can you imagine if all us Dogs acted like that? Get with the program people!!
So I'm planning to start a movement called "Furballs For Humanity" and our goal is a simple one.
By example, show people that it's best to act like Dogs - to take on a Dogs outlook on life.
I think us Dogs have evolved faster because our lifespan is shorter. "Huh?" you say?
Think about it.
Dogs depending on size breed environment etc live to what - maybe 17 years? Big dogs like me are happy to see their thirteenth birthday! We have no time to waste! We have to get it right in a shorter amount of time. We've had more generations in the time we've been bonded to Humans than Humans have had. Thus we're higher on the evolutionary fire plug.
I'm not gonna take a lot of time trying to convince you of this - it's true. Accept it and lets move on.
Now I'm not suggesting that Humans take on the same body language, crotch and butt sniffing each other, barking for attention or any of that. No Dog would expect that from a Human. I'm talking about loving each other unconditionally, respecting each others right to life ,existence, and space on this planet. And sharing a bit of the old dog dish to your neighbor once in a while. Be happy when you see another Human and be ready to be a friend. Don't fight and enjoy your time here wherever you are. That's it. Simple.
The pups in the 'hood think Humans are a bunch of losers and that I've got a bone loose in the cranium somewhere trying to take on Furballs For Humanity. I like to think there is hope for Humans and I'm not talking about the kind of "hope" that human Obama likes to bark about. A pack leader is necessary but Humans invented politics and that's what creates all the dumpings in their yard. That's what stinks up their den. Watch your Dogs people - we have a lot to show you.
Till next time.... enjoy your life.
Beau

13 Months and counting.....

You may have noticed in my December 4th entry I planned to execute some tooth extractions on dear little Kiaya as she slept. Long story - I really don't want to talk about it. Suffice it to say the girl got the best of me and made me forget real quick my intentions. Details here would be embarrassing to say the least. I'll just say that I questioned my malehood for a couple days, and the pliers were locked back in the tool box.
OK.... so it's now been thirteen months since this little furball has made herself at home around here, and I don't see any sign of her packing up and leaving any time soon. In fact, I actually have become quite enamored of the little girl. Sometimes she walks right up to me and gives me a wet kiss.
As a result of time, I have finally accepted that she is one of us, and my humans are equally good to both of us, so I guess I have no reason to complain. We do have fun playing "keep away" with the deflated green soccer ball in the back yard, or running up and down the fence with our neighbor - a fine specimen of female dog named Molly.
Yes, I'm starting to slow down a bit and appreciate what I have. As I approach "middle age", I begin to reflect on my puppyhood and early years of vigor - not with sadness of what was, but with an appreciation of what I have done in the past, and how fortunate I have been. I have seen and done things that other dogs can only dream of. I can only wish you pups out there the very best. And if your humans should suddenly bring home a puppy, just accept it and move on. There will be some pain from needle-like teeth, a bit of competition for your basic treats, maybe even a challenge to your status in the pack that creates a little worry on your part. They may even get a page on Dogster!! Just take it all in, accept it, and know in your heart that the bigger the pack the merrier! Wishing you many happy chew bones my friends!!

Chapter 2: The Adjustment

It's time to move on. Time to get over my constant worry about when she will strike next. Stop feeling like food. Stop moping about her teeth. I'm now thinking of positive ways to rid my world of those canine pearly whites, because - HEY - training by my humans is just NOT CUTTING IT!!
I tried the chew bone route - giving Kiaya a rawhide chew every time she started drooling over my filet of ear. I had the impression that in time I could wear those babies down.
That's it....keep chewing those bones baby. She's been chewing like a fanatic. But that tactic has had little effect on cuspid wear. If anything they seem sharper now. There are not enough years in a dog for me to have any hope of one day laughing as she tries to GUM her food!!
So like Dr. Peale said - "Think Positive"
Today, I smuggled pliers out of one of my human's tool box, and hid it under my rug where I sleep. At some point she will have to get some sleep. Thats it......my little fur pain.....off to doggie dream land. Then POW!!! I will strike like a crazed wolverine, and with pliers in paw, make an oral adjustment on that furball!!
Heh heh heh.....I may not get them all - she's got hundreds of teeth for barking out loud....but in time.......give me time.....
Oh NO..............they don't make dog dentures.......do they?

Chapter 1: Remembering the Simple Life

It seems so long ago, those days of endless biscuits and rawhide chews, complete undivided attention from my humans, riding in the truck, hiking the mountains, riding canoe, swimming, a whole back yard with just my droppings in it -being total master of my domain.
Yea.... I yearn for those days alright.
One day, May 1st of this year (2004) I think it was, my humans up and leave me for the better part of a day and come home with this hyperactive furball that is wearing a coat close to the same color as mine. Now I've had company over at the house many times -my humans have relatives and friends associated with all kinds of dogs, so it's not like I'm not socialized or anything. But eventually these dogs know when to leave!
The house gets real quiet again, the hair settles, the dog biscuit crumbs get vacuumed up, and I have the humans all to my self again. Yes....Master of my Domain once more.
But would you believe this furball has been here for SEVEN MONTHS now and hasn't left yet?!!!! And she doesn't get the hint.
Her name is Kiaya, and I'm beginning to think that this whole thing is a sham - I'm serious. I'm really beginning to think that this particular furball aint leaving. No.... I think she's here for the duration. It's like today it dawned on me....this canine nightmare was brought here on purpose to be my SISTER!!!!
When she first arrived I have to admit she was a cute novelty, she had that new pup smell. But her teeth were like pins and she loved to bury them into my body. When she wasn't sinking her teeth into my flesh, I have to admit she was fun to play with, and I fell for the little pumpkin when she was napping - she looked so innocent and helpless. I'd often times find myself standing guard or resting near her, even pose for pictures with her when one of my humans broke out the camera.
OK...you took her picture, time to show her the door - pop a biscuit into her mouth and send her on her way. But no.
So now....SEVEN MONTHS later she's almost as big as me, still hyper and sinking teeth into me every chance she gets. My humans dote on both of us evenly - I'm treated as senior dog so I don't feel there is any favortism really, but she's GOT to STOP with the tooth action! I get so frustrated - I should have had her for lunch when she was a bite size pup. I've entertained the thought of really taking a piece of her, (usually while she's clamped down on my ear) but I'm a gentleman, I wouldn't do such a thing. Yea... those teeth of hers.... they have got to go. In fact, I'll go so far as to say that if she ever gets over this love of dog flesh (mine in particular) I might even like the girl.........yea...right.