The Buck and Koa Chronicles aka Perros Del Diablo

I am going to the Rocket Launch and Koa isnt

May 2nd 2006 9:46 pm
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Good news!!! Dad overrode Uncle Paul's decision to bar me from going tothe rocket launch. Dad does not like to attend to these important government science projects without me. Koa will stay home with the old lady. She will no doubt take him shopping at Stanford Shopping center, wash him with lavender-mint soap and watch reruns of Queer Eye and Blow Out.

BTW note to Uncle Paul - first off the Rotty up the hill said "Ocotillo" means little armadillo with five heads in Turmeric. Second off, Ocotillo is TOO part of the Mojavi dessert. So we will be in the same dessert turns out. I have Google Earth Uncle Paul. I can see you ... I am watching you ...so stop feeding cuz P'Nut aka Tugboat those chicken pot pies.

Uncle Paul you look and smell so much like my Dad that sometimes I cannot tell you apart -- especially after day three sans shower. I promise to offer you the same protection I offer Dad. Since I will be there as his body guard and I cannot tell you apart ... just make sure that nobody throws me off their cot in the middle of the night. That was incredibly humiliating ... and I do refer to the inaugural millenium (and also the finale) Burning Spam Festival.

Having butter-loaded the past few weeks ...Im in top shape.

 

Uncle Paul's Response

May 2nd 2006 9:34 pm
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Dear Buck

Thanks for all the love - your offering to eat our food and urinate on everything obviously comes from the heart.
You are welcome to spend the weekend in the Mojavi desert. I will be in the Ocotillo desert.
Finally - as your Dad plans on flying out to biz from San Diego - thereby stranding you in San Diego, I have to consult with Aunt Monica and Cuz PNut. I need to know if they don't mind you hanging around and going to work with Ms. Doyle for a few days.

Well - we better not bother Ms. Doyle right now - she has a look on her face - she must be having a "hot flash" or something.

PNut say "I don't lyke dawgs hangin rund wid us umans - dawgs piss me off - dawgs sniff my butt until I start gvin dem the evil PNut growwl - dey try to get a tention - why can't we umans just keep da dawgs in der place."

Doesn't look good Bucko !!!!

Paul

 

Buck's plea to Uncle Paul

May 2nd 2006 9:31 pm
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Dear Uncle Paul,
I spent all night working on 10 reasons why you should take me with you to the Rocket Launch in the Mojavi Dessert. Below are my following 10 reasons you should take me to the Rocket Launch in the Mojavi Dessert.

Buck's TEN reasons why Uncle Paul should take me to the Rocket Launch in the Mojavi Dessert:

1. I will retrieve the rockets while you and Dad can kick back in the shade with the chips and the dips.
2. I keep all the elusive mojavi dessert deer and dessert bears away from camp with my high pitched alert howl "SECURE THE PERIMETER" You may ask why it is necessary for me to do this all night but then again have you ever SEEN any deer or bear in the dessert? I keep it secure.
3. I will eat all the steak scraps that you thought you wanted for breakfast. Thanks for getting distracted by that rocket mishap.
4. I will attract the one attractive woman (actually well the only woman and I think she is a woman) to our RV at the Rocket Launch in the Mojavi Dessert.
5. If your blanket gets kicked off at night in the cold cold dessert I can keep you warm. Only for five minutes though because my first duty is to my Dad.
6. Koa will be left at home which will further reinforce my position as way way way superior to him.
7. I will mark OUR designated campsite AND the campsites of others with my pungent, indistinguishable and unlimited supply of urine. I will declare in no unclear terms: " This is mine and this is mine and that is ... well also mine." It will be clear at the Rocket Launch in the Mojave Dessert what is MINE and also what is MINE. Which is important to you because it will also essentially be yours.
8. If , my belly starts to rumble from the dozen raw eggs, tub of mayo, steak leftovers, raw sausage etc ... and I have the urge to paint themojavi dessert with projectile "diorama" ... I will have great breadth of area to spray liquid turd. The Rocket Launch at the Mojave Dessert is very very large and big too.
9. People find me very cool and may offer extra beer to you and the caravanski because only other cool people would have a cool dog like me at the ROcket Launch in the mojavi dessert.
10. Most importantly. I will keep my Dad Safe and Protect and Love my Dad in the dangerous and precarious nature of the Rocket Launch in the Mojave Dessert.
Nobody can keepmy Dad safe or knows how to love my Dad the proper and correct way as I do. Do not entrust this to anyone else at the Rocket Launch in the Mojavi Dessert.

Love,
Buck

 

The World According to Buck

February 28th 2006 1:40 pm
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Dear Fellow Dogsterians,
My bratty little brother (ok he is technically my nephew genetically but for sake of simplicity ...) Koa has recently returned from the doggy hospital. He had a tiny mast cell tumor on his "buttoxial" region (Tooshus Squishious Maximus) and was taking pretty intense antibuttoxics. I think that was what it was called. In short it got infected. He has had three total surgeries and the resulting scars in the shape of a giant "4" are 7"x6"x4". Poor guy was pretty hacked up. Still my empathy is limited. He is so annoying! He even got loose from his crate late at night at the doggy hospital. He set off all the alarms and the vet on call and police were dispatched. He knocked over stuff and made a big mess. This is typical of Koa.

My parents call him Mr. Plow on account of his E-collar. Koa does not back up when he bumps into things he just pushes forward and knocks or scoops stuff down. He is very hyperactive. Usually our Dad takes us running 5 or 6 times a week. Koa cannot do any running.

The best thing is I get to run alone with my Dad. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my Dad. I really love my Dad. I want my Dad all to myself.

Love you Dad,
Buck

 
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