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Leave a bone for Howard Pee PugPants
Nicknames: DANGIT Howie Gimme That! Pickley, Picklehead, Puggles, PuggleMan, Mister How-Werrrddd, Cutey Pie, ScrunchyFace, PugMuffin, Mister Man, Little One, Pickley Pug, Picklepants, Give me back that sock, Put that down or you're gonna get time out, etc
Doggie Dynamics:
Don’t that noise makes the hair stands up on yer neck? It sure does mine!!! When mom got home last night after feedin us nutritious delishush dinner and makin us poop outside, the tornado sirens went off in our neighborhood.
Awwww WoooooOOOOOOOOOoooo!!!
I howled, encouraging Annie and Java to howl with me. We was havin a great time howlin with the sirens and mom told us to shush and come in the bathroom with her RITE NOW. I told mom I hoped she had some air freshener in there, cuz last time I got stuck in a small room with Java for more than an hour, wale, (to use a term my good buddy Puggie sez often), wale you can jest imagine!
I said no Ma, I was BIZZY and wasn’t goin into da bathroom. By this time, she had drug pillows in there, a mattress, her book, her celly phone, and a refreshing beverage. She said HOWIE GIT IN HERE RITE NOW!!! I said no, I was BIZZY!! So she got the bag of fritos and took them in there and WALE, the rest is history. *picks fritos out of his teeth*
We sat in there together for a good 10 minutes eatin fritos. Then Java and I had a fartin contest. Mommy called her neighbors and made sure they were okay cuz the sirens was goin off. Me and Java decided to fight and wrastle loudly while she was on the phone, and then Annie climbed into her lap demandin more fritos. It was real exciting. Yew can imagine all of us squeezed together in a four foot square area for an hour.
Finally mom let us outta the bathroom and we ran around like crazy dogs. The sirens got tired of waling so they shutted up and we ate all the fritos so what was the point of stayin in there longer, I asks? Right about then, Daddy rushed home from work early to be with his family so he could protect us from scary tornados and watch basketball on TV. He is my hero. *digs in bottom of frito bag and licks out the crumbs*
Tell yer mom. If you hear them sirens, don’t fergit to put on your important survival rations list in big capital letters: FRITOS!! And if yew gots a cheesy brother like I do, also puts down AIR FRESHENER. Dats all my advice fur today.
My good buddy Mistah Chu tagged me! It seems he gots tagged by Birdie, and you know that pay it forward thing, well I got paid!!
So here is some fun facts about Howee Pee fur yew.
1.name four jobs you have had in your life
Peein on furny-ture, peein on nice rugs, bitin Java, and fartin under da covers
2. name four places you have lived
I only lived in two places, the place where I was born and dis here place wif the tree in the front yard.
3.name four places you have been to
I have been to grammy's house of mashed potatoes and cows; I have been to da pug meetup at da creek; I have been to da dog park where I went up to all da strangers and dug through their bags and embarrassed mom; and I have been to my house jest about every day. (I gets up, and BAM I am here!)
4.name your four favorite foods
Peanut Butter, scrambley egg, goopey kibble, poppycorn.
5.name four places you would rather be
On toppa da table wif the food, IN da frigerator, in da kibble container, or else on da kitchen counter where da cookie jar is.
Jest in case you was wonderin, I gots on this cowpug disguise hoping the Easter Puggy will think I'm some other pug besides the one that barked at him last year and chased him outta da yard. I think the Easter Puggy also overhear-ed me sayin to my pal Yoshi that the Easter Puggy would be delishush deep fried with some ranch dippy sauce. So that was two strikes against Pee from Easter Puggy.
If I DO gets an easter basket this year, I will make Anniesmelly Bossypants taste everything first jest to be sure there ain't nothing disgustin hidden in dem easter eggies. Dem bunnies are awful cute, but they sure can hold grudges. So if any of my pals gets a big basket, could you mail me sum of the most delishush stuff? I will be very hungree that day cuz I will probably only get three meals and 20 snacks, the usual starvation rations from da momma.
Don't cry fur me when you reads this sad story. I have grown used to bein judged harshly and kept on survival rations. Life is not fair for the Pees of the world. Specially now that spoilt Annies are runin around da house gettin all the attention. *pffftttttt* makes farting noise. Okay, well, I gotta go now. But I thought I would let you know my plight. It's not purty. I'll be watchin da front porch fer my pack-idges to arrive very soon from my good puggy pals.
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