Survivng in the frozen north

Unfortunately my last entry was quite a while ago - I lost computer privileges after trying to hack into my favorite treat companies websites to re-route their delivery routes TO MY HOUSE.

I was granted a reprieve today as with the unholy amount of snow having recently trapped us indoors for an indefinite future. Have I mentioned that I HATE SNOW?!?! Sure it's okay for a little while, when it's just a small dusting but this is too much - it should never tower above you in killer drifts the way it does in the godforsaken northern climate in which we unfortunately live. To make matters worse, that half wit french bulldog I live with actually *likes* it. I do my necessary business outdoors with out fuss and then find myself TRAPPED outside WAITING on that moron who is trying to prance through the snow - uncoordinated as she is she more or less just uses her freakishly huge head and chest as a snow plow as she barrels through the mountainous drifts.

I am really starting to doubt the sanity of my pack, especially my mom, for repeatedly torturing me with these new arrivals - I survived my time with that ADHD-hyper-crazy STEVIE!!! and not long after his stay with us ends, who comes along but Charlette. Okay, I admit it, I mistakenly thought when she first arrived that she had possibility. She is a related breed to Moi, she was young and ripe for training to be my second in command, and she was smaller than Moi. Unfortunately her intellect never developed, and her size exploded. Today it is an almost daily battle to remind her that *I* am still the dominate one! I only tolerate her now because one never knows which member of the pack may have to be sacrificed for the survival of the rest of the pack as food runs scarce in this bitter snowy winter.

A sad day . . . . and another chance at world domination . .- . one city at a time.

I didn't believe Mom when she told me - (she's never been that trustworthy anyway, like telling me having that insane pup STEVIE!!! around would be fun - LIAR!) but it seems as if this time she may be right. My best Boston pal Zoe is no longer around.

Fear not, she did not pass to the pup paradise in the sky, she merely relocated with her guy to Austin. One day she was here, okay - she was here for days on end, and then 'poof!' off into the horizon she goes with her person.

Hopefully the year or so we had together was enough, I have trained her to continue to do my bidding in my plot for world dog domination, that she may continue the battle in a new city. Look out Austin, here comes Zoe - a force to be reckoned with! Scream all you want, she cannot hear your cries! (No, REALLY she cannot hear your cries - she's DEAF!)

Dictator of the Mountain

Recently Mom and I, my new minion Zoe and her person ventured far out into the wilderness that is the lake of the devil and the surrounding rocky terrain.

After the vast amounts of rain this summer the water levels were high, making for a treacherous climb around the fallen boulders surrounding the lake.

My physical might has been proven!

My companions, human and dog, could barely keep up with me and my climbing prowess. Through out the arduous hike I led the way, finding the safest and quickest route up, and then down the mountain. Zoe in particular would freeze in fear, unsure of where to place her paws unless I first led the way. We quickly surpassed other humans, as well as 'outdoor' dogs like labs and retrievers. My might surprised many a human on our treck.

This adventure has only wetted my thirst for adventure. Perhaps next I will climb Mt. St. Helen's or one of the quickly melting glaciers.

Until my next adventure . . .

global warming is a lie - a dirty dirty lie

I've been hearing my people talk about a couple of things recently - the presidential party primaries and global warming.

Paltry position president is. When I become ruler, I will be Mia-the-Great, Dictator of the World, not a mere president.

And as for global warming all I have to say is HA!!!

I have seen no evidence of any warming. I barely managed to survive the dreadful winter. It was the worst winter I have ever experienced (and I do live in the north, mind you). The only time when I could venture outside was when layers of ice froze upon the feet of snow, otherwise it was impassible - far deeper than any dog is tall.

And then today! It's June. Today was to be the day of my grand victory. It was the day of the dog festival in town that was to be thrown. It would have forever renamed in my honor after I bested the best of the canines in competitions of beauty and skill. Alas the dreadful 'global chill' continues, and this day, like all the others this month is cold and dreary, dark and raining.

SOMETHING HAS TO BE DONE BEFORE THE GRAND CELEBRATION OF MY BIRTH IS CANCELLED AS WELL!!!!

Which is why I realized that this myth of global warming must be dealt with. The opposite is true, those who wish for another ice-age are winning the war of propaganda. I had doubted that a make-believe story like 'global-warming' could actually make people change their behavior but no one can doubt the guliability of some. What the fools don't realize is that THE OPPOSITE is true. Temperature increases caused by fossil fuel use is the only thing that keeps the world from becoming a giant ice ball. By converting to 'eco-fuels' you are only fueling your own inevitable icy-cold death.

I call on all dogs everywhere to increase your human's oil consumption. Give them those puppy-dog eyes and make them take you for long car rides! Destroy whatever you can! Refuse to go 'out' to do any business until this climate crissis is dealt with!

Your Future Dictator,

Mia

Death to all cats! The Rule of Dogs (moi) shall last a- thousdand years!

Mort aux Chats

There will be no more cats.
Cats spread infection,
Cats pollute the air,
Cats consume seven times
their own weight in food a week,
Cats were worshipped in
decadent societies (Egypt
and Ancient Rome); the Greeks
had no use for cats. Cats
sit down to pee (our scientists
have proved it). The copulation
of cats is harrowing; they
are unbearably fond of the moon.
Perhaps they are all right in
their own country but their
traditions are alien to ours.
Cats smell, they can't help it,
you notice it going upstairs.
Cats watch too much television,
they can sleep through storms,
they stabbed us in the back
last time. There have never been
any great artists who were cats.
They don't deserve a capital C
except at the beginning of a sentence.
I blame my headaches and my
plants dying on cats.
Our district is full of them,
property values are falling.
When I dream of God I see
a Massacre of Cats. Why
should they insist on their own
language and religion, who
needs to purr to make his point?
Death to all cats! The Rule
of Dogs shall last a thousand years!

-- Peter Porter (b. 1929)

My Dominance Grows

And I thought that removing dad after almost two years to become the dominant one was a victory.

My how my powers have grown since then.

I have discovered that my overwhelming cuteness can be used as a weapon.

Thus far since my last entry I have asserted my dominance over my mom's roommate, and one night with his tail (metaphorically) tucked between his legs he cowered his way out of MY house. I am the dominant one again!

Also I learned that my disarming cuteness can make humans do things far more silly than I had imagined. Yes, I knew I could get cute-sy voices and treats out of them, including such wonderous things as beef sticks but not until recently did I realize that my cuteness can cause people to 'accidently' physically injure themselves! Aaahhhh . . . . . . . . now to harness this power too.

I grow in MY MIGHT

Even in the horrible oppressive heat of summer I strive for my ever-growing plans for world domination.

There have been a variety of set backs and successes this summer. Much has happened.

I have managed to split up my mom and dad.

Which means that -

I AM NOW THE DOMINATE ONE!!!!!

I always liked dad, but I could never control him as easily as I could with mom. Though he doesn't send me enough treats. As the pup of a broken home I expected better!

Speaking of homes, I have a new one, with all sorts of things the old one never had - such as carpeting. The wonders of carpeting have improved my traction greatly when tearing around the apartment. And stairs! To think back to when I was a young pup and Penny would taunt me be retreating up the stairs to escape me . . . . . . I am now the master of stairs. I could easily best her in a race of stairs. I am a mighty Boston Terrier. I take stairs two at a time!

I have formed a new pack of pup pals, of which I am the leader. Pugs, Cocker spaniels, even a couple of young boxer pups. Together we will wage the war of the lawn and banish the cat, Bramah, from the porch forever!

Thursday we begin the battle in earnest. Unfortunately mom won't let me play with cats, so we must battle covertly. I have arranged for all my pals to come over for a 'belated' birthday party/cookout for moi, 'belated' because mom had a bike accident and CANCELED my previously scheduled party for a mere concussion!! The nerve of some people. I mean, really, how often do I have birthdays anyway? And she couldn't have a concussion another time? The only good that came of it was that some people didn't get the message and came bearing treats for me as they well should. I just hope that they don't think that it excuses them from bringing me gifts at my REAL party. Anyone who shows up NOT bearing gifts in honor of my birth will pay!

Anyone residing out of town may mail them to me, care of my mom.

Updates on the Battle of Bramah and pictures of my party will be posted next week so check back then!

Yo, B

Spring is coming! This is good.
It is due.

Life is good. Not too much to say.
My dominion continues to spread.
Dad is working as a teacher, and controls students, and I control him.
Therefore my powers grow.

I am into haiku right now.
Here's one I composed.


Flee, my prey.
Your night will never end--
Blood in my mouth.


-Mia "Basho of the North"

Take, take, take

All I hear these days is more and more clamoring for updates, yet I don't get to read anyone else's journal page!!! You people are bad examples and will have no part in my future empire. However, to satiate you until then...

I've been reading Blood Meridian. It's really good. I think I would have been a hero back in those days.

Halloween was good this year. I was a moose. There are no good picture of that. However, I did take some pics of Elphie's recent visit and then some in St. Louis for Thanksgiving...

Thanksgiving was a lot of fun. Penny is still lazy, but that Ivy is a real fire-cracker. Lots of fun, though oddly furry.

I was happy when the Cardinals won the world series. Well, actually, I didn't really care, but mom and dad seemed happy and that makes them easier to rule.

The snow is back and I'll take some pictures when I go sledding this winter.

That's all for now, go back to the pathetic part of your lives that don't involve me,

-Mia

A Visitor

Howdy, everyone!
My good-friend and half-sister Elphie is visiting for a couple of weeks...
It's been a lot of fun!
We manage to play tug-o-war with a mere kong, we walk together, and we play fetch constantly.
Fetch is a bit difficult-- Elphie is bigger and faster, but after she fetches the ball I can try to grab it out of her mouth.
Fall is coming! I like to play in the leaves and eat them, too.
These fragments I have shored against my ruins
Datta. Dayadhvam. Damyata.
Shantih shantih shantih