May 24th 2005 9:28 pm
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Please allow me to introduce myself, I am Miss Addison Scarlett Glory. And yes, I am from The South. I will attempt in these entries to give helpful tips and hints for proper ettiquette and behavior toward your human companions. I know it is sometimes difficult to determine what they want or need but I am here to let you know that frustration is no excuse for bad manners! Remember being polite will always get you a bone.
Let me begin by telling you more about myself. I am originally from Florida but I have toured many of our great Southern states. I now sadly reside in California the root of all impropriety. I do enjoy my human companions very much and have been willing to make the move to accomodate their needs. I have long been interested in canine ettiquette and over the months have made a study of it's many facets, from interpreting human gestures to punishing inappropriate companion behavior when necessary. I hope my advice will help all of you out there who may be having difficulties with your humans.
Tip #1: Trying to get your human to cut back on television time. Many dogs will simply jump up and down or prance about as would any civilized being. Humans however require more crude methods of excitation. Try going to your water dish and submerging your entire face in the water. Remember, don't inhale. Then return to you companion and place your head lovingly in their lap. If this doesn't get your human out of their seat...you may require private sessions. Thanks for visiting Miss Scarlett's Tips!
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