Life's tough when you're an Eenie Weenie!

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Long Dog, No Bark

June 17th 2009 8:55 am
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Whoa Doggies! I am a bit embarrassed. Here I am, *poked* fur Dogster of the Week and my diary is almost 2 years bee-hind!

*hangs puppy head*

It's been so long since I barked here that Snoopy the Eenie Weenie's Mom, Aunty M, has quit asking Mah-ahm when she was going to let me pupdate my diary.

I am quite honored to bee gracing the Dogster home page this week. I'm *poking* lots of new pals, too! For some of you newer Dogsters, I thought I'd repost one of my previous diary entries so that you, too, can learn howl to *poke*.

See, I am the original inventor of the Internet *poke*. I don't care what those Facebook people say, I, ME, Badger Hunter's Little Smokie started the whole *poke* revolution. Really, they weren't open to the general Internet population until September of 2006. The earlier versions didn't have all the neat things they have now.

So, as exhibit #1 in my pawsuit against them, here is my diary entry from November 21, 2005:


*************************
Nose *Poking* 102 - Refining your technique

Dog alive! Howl in the world could I forget the most important lesson in puppy training? Nose *poking* 101. I realize I have been doing this all my life. I'm sure instead of crying the minute I was born, I *poked* my dog-mom on the bee-hind. It just comes so naturally to me and I've been trying to teach everywoof the fine art and joy of a good nose *poke*!

Well, over on the forums, I have found out that the sweet little Bijou has perfected the fine art of the live nose *poke* for the first time! Congratulations my little Poodle nose *poking* protege! I'm so proud of her. *wiping tear from eye*

Bijou's story: The other night, Mommy was picking me up at the grandma and grandpa humans' house after her work. She and I were playing, and she was sitting on my bed. She stopped playing with me to talk to the grandma and grandpa humans, and when she wasn't paying attention, I snuck up behind her and gave her a good quick *poke* in the back!

Mommy burst out laughing and said "Bijou, only eenie weenies are supposed to do that!"

I've been doing virtual *pokes* for weeks now here at Dogster, but this was my first real-life *poke*!

Ahem, ahem! *pulls out small piece of paper with notes* I'd like to thank Dogster for giving me a place where I can learn important skills from fellow canines. I'd like to thank all the D members who supported me through the learning process. And most of all, I'd like to thank Badger Hunter's Little "Super Bionic" Smokie, who taught me and so many others the fine art of a good swift *poke* and the joy it can bring to the doggy bestowing it!


*blushing puppy*

That's great Bijou! You did a wonderful *poke*! The sneak attack, drive-by pokes are the best! Catch them in their "unawares". *apaws* *apaws*

Troubleshooting Nose Poking

Does it seem you are invisible?
Your biped or bipedess ignoring you?
Poop on that!
Turn their attention back on you where it belongs!
White dogs, multi-colored dogs, short dogs and tall dogs unite and start *poking*!

Butch writes: Poke?? Is that like a "goose" in the human's rump? I'm good at that!

Brody writes: Wow Bijou! That is so cool. I'm really jealous of you and Smoke. I haven't quite figured that out yet. I just jump on my mom and run off and direct her to what I want her to be doing. I think a nose poke might hurt!

Skye writes: Hey Little Twin Smokie--I'll make ya' a deal, you take the low *pokes* and I'll take the high *pokes* --(Xena, isn't that how an old Scottish song goes?) -- that way we can be the total annoying package! I poked Mom at 5 this morning. It's easy to reach her when I stand beside the bed. How could she not think it was breakfast time??? Couldn't she hear my tummy growling? Thanks for encouraging us all to use this great form of communication.

Brody, anydog is capable of nose *poking* with the exception of a few nasally challenged breeds such as the Pug. Nose *pokes* aren't designed to inflict pain or damage. They're more of a gentle reminder, a prodding in the right direction if you will, that we're here and we demand attention and Pupcorn.

The basics of a good nose *poke* - it must be clean and wet as shown on my Dogster photo contest entry. One other important step I failed to mention there is that if the nose is cold, the *poke* is much more effective. A clean, wet, frozen nose *poked* in the right spot can produce the loudest squeals, highest jumps, etc. from the *pokee*.

We need nose *pokers* of every breed and height as humans have *pokeable* spots in various heights. *pounds paw on the podium* We cannot allow them to become complacent with the ankle nose *pokes*!!*pound* *pound* We must attack them on every level!*poke*

Thank you everydog for your support in my nose *poking* crusade. Together we will bring them to their knees (and bring those faces closer to us for kisses and so we can smell what they've been eating and not sharing)!

Humans! Bow down to the Puh-pay (because I'm down HERE)

Rosie writes: Hey, Smoke, I've got a *poke* issue. Every time I get my mum in the rear I get in trouble. Can someone explain to me what a "swimsuit area" is and why I'm not supposed to *poke* her there?

Rosie, I think Skye said it best....you *poke* where your nose is. No need to jump or crouch....just stretch that neck out straight in a quick out and away, then retract back to normal head position.

*stretch* *poke* *retract*

This should be done quickly like an eye-blink, no lingering in the *poke* position. If you linger, it turns into a *sniff*. Some humans are rather sensitive about being *sniffed*, so you may need to refine your timing with more practice.

If your Mah-ahm continues to have a problem with where you *poke*, perhaps she should invest in some platform shoes to raise the area she doesn't want *poked* out of *poking* range. (also platform shoes = longer chewing ability for those dedicated shoe chewers)

Rosie further fesses up: I will admit that my *pokes* have been mining expeditions on occasion! It's not my fault that my nose is the same level as her rear! I don't have plans to get much taller, so I'll put some platforms on her list to Santa - she's way too short!!

Zackary pipes in: Smoke! did you say, Catch em in their underwears? BOL! thats what it sounded like to me! and Rosie, "mining expeditions " BOL! too funny!!

Marlowe confirms: I, like Butch and Rosie "poke" right up the butt...HA, talk about getting someones attention!!!!!

Mining expeditions! *snicker* *snicker* *snort* *giggle* Bet my Mom is glad I can only reach her ankles and can't try rooting around in the swimsuit area like you taller dogs!

And it's root, root, root for the home team!
It's great when they're in unawares!
Just *stretch* *poke* then you *retract*
It's the nose *poke* game


*cheering on his taller nose *poking* recruits*

*************************

As you can see, clear as the *poke* of my nose, it all started right here on Dogster.

Smoke, Original Internet *poke*

 

Guess what?????

September 15th 2007 1:57 pm
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Mom can walk again! Wooooooohoooooooooo!

*runs like a weenie-ac*

She still has her crutches, brace and now a cane. Most of the time, in the house, she doesn't have anything. If she's up cooking or cleaning, she'll wear her brace and take the cane.

Thank Dog! We won't have those darned scary crutches crashing and banging all the time now. Her cane has 4 feet on it so she doesn't have to prop it up against anything so it can fall over. Those crutches were really a pain in the bee-hind. It's enough to give an Eenie Weenie a heart attack.

*pats paw on chest over heart*

I hope she puts my booster seat back in the car. I haven't see my ladies at the gas store in dog years!

Smoke, ready to roll

 

Can You Smell.....What the Mom is Cookin'?

August 18th 2007 5:50 am
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Our bummer summer is continuing here at Casa de Smoke.

*counts on paw*

There's Mom and her limpy leg.

Great Grandma Pete passed away.

It's hotter than the 4th of July.

Tess and I have both had poopie problems.

< sigh >

Tess stayed at Lailia's when Mom had to go to the funeral and I stayed with Jake the Slobrador. Welp. Tess got sick when she came home and ended up at the emergency vet last Friday night. Seems she might have picked up some spiral sheets at the spa.

Welp, you know howl things go with siblings. They gotta share everything. Including spiral sheets. Tess was a nice enough big sister to share with ME! Now I had to go to the vet yesterday. I got the "bum's rush" with the thermometer and 2 shots.

*hides under the big red chair and whines*

< sniff > < sniff >

*pokes nose out from under the chair*

What's that smell? Mom's cooking chicken and rice again! Woooohooooo! I knew it! When's dinner?

Smoke, anything for chicken and rice

 

Bummer Summer

July 28th 2007 7:07 am
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HOW CAN YOU MEND A BROKEN MOM?

I can think of summer days when living for my Mom
Was everything a dog could want to do
I could never see tomorrow, but I was never told about the sorrow

And how can you mend a broken Mom?
I saw Jake and Brutus make her fall down.
How can you stop my Mom from limping?
Mom makes my world go round.
How can you mend my broken Mom?
When will a puppy play again?
Please help me mend my broken Mom and let me live again


*lays down with head on paws*

< sigh >

Life's tough when you're an Eenie Weenie. I know I haven't pupdated my diary in a long time. I had been such a busy Dog. Mom and I were always doing fun dog things.

*counts on toes*

We went to the Mardi Paw Parade where I won 2nd place. I think I barked about that bee-fore. Then during the Great Easter Blizzard of 2007, we went to the Deep Ellum Arts Festival where I won 1st place in my Easter Duxie outfit.

*continues counting*

I did all the usual things me and Mom do. There were trips to the store, playing with my pal Jake the Slobrador, a visit from the Goobersmooches, the Dog Day Afternoon dog walk, I got to see my Plano pals again and meet some other Dogsters... Nugget, Duke, Daisy Mae, Gracie Jane....we didn't find Muffin......Boudreaux and I were in the costume contest as a fire hydrant and firedog. Those judges were blind. We didn't win anything. I tried the kissing contest, but I wouldn't kiss Mom so I kissed the lady from Channel 11. *woofps* I didn't know she was the judge. Really. I wasn't trying to cheat. I didn't win that either, although I did get my picture on Operation Kindness' website and in the Urban Animal magazine.

*runs out of toes*

Everything was going along great bones. I was even getting a surprize visit from Momma Goobersmooch. And then it happened.....

Mom went out front to mess with the roses while we were waiting for Momma G. A neighbor came out, Mom walked over to talk to her. Welp, Brutus decided to join his pack out front and was running around. Then Jake came out bee-cause he heard Mom. He was headed over to Casa de Smoke until Mom called his name. He turned around to go see Mom and Brutus decided to go play with him. They were running full steam ahead and then < BOOOOOOOOOM > Right into Mom's knee.

*covers eyes*

They broke Mom's leg. Now the crutchmonster is here in the house and we can't play or do anything. It's finally stopped raining so much and we can't go for a walk now. Or a ride. Or play Rowdy Friends. Or ANYthing!

*flops over dramatically on his side*

I still feel the summer breeze rustle through my ears
And Rowdy Friends of days gone by
We could never see tomorrow, no one said a word about the sorrow

And how can you mend a broken Mom?
I saw Jake and Brutus make her fall down.
How can you stop my Mom from limping?
Mom makes my world go round.
How can you mend my broken Mom?
When will a puppy play again?
Please help me mend my broken Mom and let me live again


Smoke, *bored to tears*

 

Uncle.....Uncle......UUUUUNNNNNCLE!!!

May 26th 2007 7:23 pm
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I haven't been able to get time to do all my Dogster stuff lately. Now I've been *poked* by some taggers!

I'VE BEEN TAGGED!!! All these Dogsters have tagged me. I need to find out what I'm supposed to do now.

Bailey
Vincent
Rosalita Lola
Monkey
Sirius Black
Sitka
Tracker
Cocoa
Gizmo the Great
Bertrum
Hailey
Edie
Belle Cheine
Skye

I think I'm supposed to tell you 7 things about me that you don't already know.

1. I am the best gardener. *dig* *dig*

2. I have to have my 15 minutes of uninterrupted bullystick chewing bee-fore sleepy puppy time. *like a dog with a bone*

3. I love to eat er...groom Mom's hair! *pull* *chew*

4. I am good at chasing cats and birds out of my yard. *bar-rar-rar-rark*

5. I hide Mom's stinky socks under the bed. *shhhh* don't tell her!

6. I don't like it when the icemaker dumps out new ice cubes. *puts on scared weenie ears*

7. I don't have a lot of secrets. *barks all in his diary*

I'm supposed to *poke* some dogs now. But I can't find any dogs to tag that haven't already been tagged. *pout*

Smoke, *poking around for un-tagged dogs*

 

No Where to Hide!

March 8th 2007 6:34 pm
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Oh No!!! Tess finally did it. She figured out howl to get up the ramps! Now I have no where to run and hide any more! Is nothing sacred?

She's already figured out howl to follow me under the big red chair. My last bastion of freedom was being able to go up the ramps to the big bed, the couch and the Dog Majal viewing platform.

What's an Eenie Weenie to do?

Smoke, *flops over dramatically on his side*

 

Dallas Mardi Paw!

February 24th 2007 3:02 pm
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Welp, we're back from Mardi Paw in Downtown Dallas. Dog alive was it windy! We got there as they were setting everything up. All of the sudden we were hit by a tornado! [Big dust devil, Smoke! Not a tornado!] They had to move everything inside.

They had it inside a building that Mom used to support about 5 years ago. They've made it into lofts now. The lobby is really pretty with all the marble and stone. We didn't get to see the whole thing because they've blocked off part of the lobby for some clothing stores and a restaurant.

Anyhowl, we had a lot of fun. Until we found out that a window blew out of a building across the street and landed on the valet cars. We had to walk about 6 blocks past a lot of older buildings being remodeled to get back to Gene to come home. All of them full of windows! *gasp* It was blowing so hard that Mom had to carry me. I wanted to walk but the wind was lifting me off the ground! So I did what any self-respecting Eenie Weenie would do in this situation.....

*anchors himself to something heavy (Mom)*

I won second place in the costume contest. Only 3 dogs were entered. 2 of them showed up at the last minute! Mom was mad when she found out that I could have had a $100 gift certificate to Fuse, the sushi restaurant and a $75 GC to The Petropolitan. As it is, I won a $50 GC to Iron Cactus (artsy-fartsy Mexican food) and $50 to The Petropolitan. We didn't even know they were ready to do the judging. It was crowded in the little lobby. It wasn't formal or anything and a lady came chasing us down to give me my prize!

There were quite a few things to check out. We saw 2 Stupid Ladies juggling. They told that little girl to stand there and smile. Then they told Mah-ahm to stand right there for just a minute! Those things were flying by the end of my Eenie Weenie nose! A puppy could get hurt by those flying bowling pins! I made Mom stop by the Operation Kindness table to make a donation so they can save more dogs. They had posters, bumperstickers and bracelets for Mercy.

I've never been downtown bee-fore. It was kind of scary. Maybe if the wind hadn't been blowing. On the way home, Mom was stopped at a light right next to her building. I thought the whole truck was going to blow over! It was like being in the car dryer part of the car wash machine that I HATE! There was so much dust in the air on the way home, Mom couldn't see 1/4-1/2 a mile up the road. You could hear the sand hitting the truck. It sounded like rain.

Smoke, *poking* the sand out of his teeth

 

Skidboot the Cowdog

February 17th 2007 7:47 pm
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We made a special trip to Quinlan to visit Mom's friend from college. While we were out that way, we took a package of treats and toys to Skidboot the Cowdog.

He lives way out in the country. It's hard to find his house. I'm glad Mom's friend knows him. The roads kept getting smaller and smaller. We drove so far out that we ran into a house that hadn't heard Christmas was over yet. They still had their Christmas wreath on the door. Takes a long time for news to reach way out here I guess. Pretty soon it was just a little dirt road but we finally got there.

I'm sure you've all seen his video from Texas Country Reporter Show. That was broadcast in July of 2004. Since then, poor Skidboot has lost all his sight. He's 14 years old! That's almost 100 years in dog years. He's now developed some problems with his spine and legs like my big sister, Gretchen, had. His Dad has to carry him outside but once out there, he can walk around...a little wobbly though. The floors inside are too slippery and the nerve degeneration makes it hard to stand up.

We all sat in a circle around Skidboot and watched the Texas Country Reporter video. He was enjoying all the attention and loving. He likes having his ears rubbed! His Dad told us all kinds of stories. He's a funny guy. He really loves Skidboot and is honored to have him in his life.

A little later, we all went outside. Some other people showed up with the world's biggest dog in a big trailer. Mom said he was a horse! I'll say. He certainly was as big as a horse. He was there for some shoes or training with Skidboot's Dad.

Skidboot has some other brother and sister dogs. Bois d'Arc and Little Skidboot are trying to learn tricks like Skidboot. They tried to show us some, but the excitement of visitors kept them from concentrating.

We bought a set of Skidboot's videos and his book. We watched the videos. The movie one was cute. Mom said it was a little corny but it has the best star in the world! The other video is really great. There's old videos and pictures of Skidboot when he was just a baby puppy! It also has some footage from the State Fair of Texas shows he used to do. It's a must see!

Mom was a little sad at our visit. She used to go to the Fair for a corndog and to see Skidboot perform. She hasn't gone to the fair since Skidboot hasn't been performing the last couple of years. I hope that someday we'll be able to see the Friends of Skidboot show if Bois d'Arc, Little Skidboot and Cheyenne the Horse ever make it there.

We told Skidboot's Mom and Dad that they should make him and their pack Dogster pages. I think Skidboot is more famous than those other "famous" dogs on here! But then I could be biased since Skidboot does have an Eenie Weenie brother named Oliver!

Smoke, reporting in from waaaaaay out in the country

ps - Francis Rocks, Skidboot and his pack said THANK YOU for the bullysticks you sent for his package!

 

Disco Dotson

February 12th 2007 3:52 pm
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I'm so bee-hind on my diaries again. We had a Great Dane in Shreveport for the Mardi Paw parade. Tess stayed at Gonzo's house with Gonzo, Gertie, Gabby, and Goldie. Boudreaux and I went to strut our stuff.

We didn't know that they were judging costumes BEE-FORE the parade. Why have us go all the way around the stage then? Anyhowls, I looked very handsome in my Disco Ball costume. The theme was Disco Dogs and Kool Cats for this year's Krewe of Barkus and Meoux Mardi Paw parade.

I got taped by 2 television stations but I don't know if it made on the TV because we had to come home. I was intereviewed by a lady from the Shreveport Times. She took a bunch of notes that looked like "M"s. When we saw the article, she said I was a

*shocking gasp of horror*

Miniature DOTSON! I knew that Mom dressing me up with all those sparkly dots on my harness would confuse someone!

I was clearly the crowd favorite. Everyone wanted to pat me as we walked by. I even let most of them. Mom was very surprised because I usually don't like people reaching out at me. There were all kinds of people using cameras, video cameras, and camera phones taking my picture. I know I would have won if we'd been there first thing.

Smoke, one and only Disco Dotson

 

Mardi Paw Rooooooooad Trip!

February 10th 2007 7:49 am
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We're packing up Green Gene the Mean Machine again for another adventure. I'm taking Tess to the land of alligators and swamps to meet Gonzo and the Goobersmoochers!

Smoke, *grabs his squeaky squirrels*

 
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