On the injustice of this Maltese's life

Dear Diary,

It is beginning to dawn on me that perhaps my household isn't as fair as I'd like. I am not pointing paws at anyone, but --- oh all right then, Soeur part Deux seems to be the culprit.

Now, maybe I'm being petty, a touch over-suspicious here... but, being the powerful pooch who *consistently* upholds Mummy's honour in daily tug'o'war games, I should think I get more treaties and more cuddles than any other dog in the house, am I right? WRONG.

I mean, I don't mind getting treats after Susie's had her bit; Soeur part Deux maintains I am the 'Beta' dog, and...well, I suppose I'll go with whatever she says. However I *do* mind that Susie gets private training sessions with Soeur whereas I get locked up in the kitchen with Emma. Okay, so Susie says the training sessions are Hard Work. Hard work? Is it hard work? Is it *flip*. I can still smell the bacon bits and fish pieces she's been wolfing down. Private training lessons my butt! More like a private banquet.

Soeur says that I haven't had any basic training since I was little and is therefore---I saw her bite back 'thicker'---'*less able* to understand the training process'. Then she gave me a bit of pity-bacon. Pity-banana bit, too.

I took the bacon and left the banana piece. A chap can only take so much pity.

Wuff wuff! Moo

WELCOME TO DOGSTER, MOCHI!(And Peeka. And YaiYai.)

Hey it's me again Diary! Wow! Two updates in row! Cool, huh? Anyway, my bestest friend Mochi's just joined dogster and I'm really excited. Bichons are great...almost as great as Malteses. :P

So...HI MOCHI! Let's go have fun some time...except that could that silly owner of yours not bring Peeka, because Peeka's, like, a baby, and we've got GROWN-UP, BIG DOG stuff to discuss. Like, the Couches or Beds debate which we've never quite resolved amongst ourselves. Or the best way to annoy other dogs in the household; random humping or fake fights? Peeka wouldn't understand the GRAVITY of such matters. Heck, I'm practically a whole CENTIMETRE taller than she is, when I'm on my hind legs.

Catch you later Mochi! and say Hi to YaiYai for me. We're not buddies, but he looks like a brainy sort of fellow. Bring him along and...oh fine, if you must, Peeka as well. Just be sure to attach a chew toy to her collar...Don't want her disturbing us in our GROWN-UP, BIG DOG discussions, do we? Yeah!

Wuff wuff,

Moo

'Tis a Busy, Busy Life

Hey there Diary!

Sorry I haven't been updating much lately. The life of a maltese is a busy one, you know. I have to wake up before Mummy every day so as to park myself before her bedroom door. Oh I'm ready for Mummy, I can tell you. As soon as I pick up any indication that she is not, in fact, asleep (i.e. footfalls, mumblings, interrupted snoring patterns) I'm ready to break that door down with my mighty Maltese strength. I tell ya, I could easily rip it from its hinges if I so put my mind to it. All I need to do is unleash the fury of Moo. But I won't, because I love Mummy and Daddy and everyone else and don't want them to get hurt in the mayhem that's bound to occur.

Anyway, after greeting Mummy I have to stay by her side as canine bodyguard extraordinaire. Susie says she's the real bodyguard but who's she kidding? All she ever does is bark at the construction workers next door. I do the real protection work here. Like, whenever Susie wants to hassle Mummy with her soft toys (they call it tug-of-war or something), I always make sure Mummy wins by chewing on Susie's tail mid-tussle! HA HA!

Sis 2 says I'm about as useful as a feather paperweight when it comes to guarding the house. To be honest I didn't really get that but it sounds vaguely insulting...just wait and see, Sis 2! Not like you know anything about what goes on round the house anyway, being in Edinburgh and all. Though could you send me a picture of Greyfriar's Bobby? I'm a Maltese, you know, and culture's my thing. :P

Must sign off now! WUFF WUFF!

Moo

Just another day

Today I overheard Mummy say (and as I'm always around Mummy it's hard to not overhear whatever she has to say) that she really missed Sis 2. I don't know why. Whenever Sis 2 is around she's always yelling at me for something or other. Like that other time I tried to nibble on her slippers. She has no sense of humour. Susie suggested that it may have been because Sis 2 was at that time wearing the slippers and trying to walk down the stairs, but...what's that got to do with anything!? I think Sis 2 is just no good to play with. Never mind!

Just now I did a poopoo in the garden. Mummy saw and praised me because, well, I don't usually poopoo in the garden. I tend to poopoo wherever Mummy is and she happened to be in the garden just now. But shhhhhh!

Anyway, Mummy went indoors to get some newspaper to clean up the poopoo. I don't know why she bothers; Susie always cleans it up before she can get to it. Sometimes I think Susie eats my poopoo because she wants to protect me from spankies. She always eats it after it's been discovered but right before it gets cleaned up, you see.

Then again, it's probably because she likes the taste. Silly beagles.