December 18th 2013 7:52 am
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This morning started out like evfurry morning...as soon as Mama opened her eyes, I belly crawled across the bed, and climbed up on her chest and stretched out with a big yawn, digging my clawses in to her like a kitty cat.
Then she pulls the Beans under the covers, before her eyeses evfun adjusts to the light, and Beanie snuggles in under her chin, into the crook of her arm, with my head buried in neck, and Mama tells me what a good boy I am, and how much she wuffs the Bean, and she's gonna keep me safe & warm furevfur.
There are nothing better than early morning snuggles with Mama, before the sun evfun comes up. It's our speshull time. Until Nosey Bakes gets wind of the fact that Mama is up. Then the party is ovfur.
But I digresses. Mama said today was an extra speshull day because it's been three years today since Mama & Papa met the transport from Missouri at Midwest Animal Rescue Services and brought me home. It's also my unofficial barkday, number 5 or 6 or so.
Evfun though they call me Tiny Satan and Mr. Tinkles, and Papa says I'm crazy, I know I'm loved as much as any doggie in the world. So evfurry day is a speshull day to me. But I'll take that birthday breakfast treat, a Texas Toothpick (!!!) anyway and then it's off to bark in my big backyard. Happy Day!!!!
Lots of Wuffs to all my Dogster Furriends,
November 29th 2013 7:54 am
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Oh the hooomillyayshun of it all.
Yesfurday was TURKEY DAY! A glorious day for the hoomans and dogs alike right?
Food, Food, and more food. Company...belly rubs and more attenshun for the Bean. What could possibly go wrong?
Well, the Bean will tell you! Company Pants. That's what!
Before our company got arriveded, Mama said, "Time for the festivial Company Pants, Beanaween!"
And then she proceeded to gussy the Bean up in these swimmy trunk type, minihooman - pull-up pants that she calls the Company Pants. I has to wear them as I wuffs the peepoles but I am also terrierfied of them and they make me tinkle and sprinkle.
I were mortified by the Company Pants. I gave her the death stare. I hunched up like a cat and stood frozen, refoosing to move.
UNTIL THE COMPANY ARRIVED!
As our company man, emerged from his big automobeel, and Mama opened the door to greet him, Beanie sprinted out.
I immediately did my very best GI JOE Belly Crawl Manoofer, across the whole front lawn in order to rid myselves of the the EVFUL Company Pants. "OMD, LOOK AT BEANIE!" Mama cried.
And when that didn't work, I felt a horribull sensayshun near my bum furses. Something was pulling on my bum. I squatted and hunched and walked in slow circles.
Mama started getting hissyterical laughter..."OMD, he's going to poop! He's going to poop! NO BEANIE! NO BEANIE! NO POOPING IN THE COMPANY PANTS!"
Mama and the Company Man, watched in a state of bemusered paralysis, until LOUD LARRY PAPA came thundering out, bellowing "Don't just stand there, get them off him!!!!" Papa knew if I had a #2 in my company pants, HE & I would have to take a bath togethfur, and NEITHFUR of us wanted that.
So Mama ran ovfur to pull them off me. She looked inside, but NO DOODIE WAS DONE. The Company Pants were empty.
She looked back at me, and I were doing the boot-scooting boogie across the whole front yard. "BEANIE!!" She shouted, what are you doing??? OMD..I think he has a dingleberry!!!"
The company man were still standing in the front yard with his prezzie bag...ungreeted. First time to Beesun house. Staring in bewilderment.
Mama rushed ovfur to help me and that's when she saw it!!!!
A big WHITE PANTY-LINER were stuck to BEANIE'S HINDER!
A PANTY-LINER!!! Beanie doesn't know what that is, but I know all the peepoles laughed at me, so it can't be good!!! NO LAUGHING AT THE BEANIE!!! NOT ON THE HOWLIDAY OF FOODS! NOT IN FRONT OF THE COMPANY. NOT AFTER I'VE already experienced the pain and degradations of the company pants.
But NEVFUR FEAR. Beanie got the last laff. I didn't has to wear the company pants for the rest of the day. And I still got to sit on the company's lap. And I only tinkled on him once.
And I got some turkey & taters, too!!!
So Happy Howlidays, evfurryone! Beanie wins.
August 6th 2013 9:04 am
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Being the Mighty Outdoorsman that I am, this summer has brought all kinds of great adventures.
Hiking in the Badlands, traversing mighty rivers, training for a big 5K with Mama & Bacon, and swimming in the waters of Lake Minnetonka.
All that summertime fun means I been running around with my hairses cutted so short I look half-naked and STILL the buggies are getting Beanie.
First the ticks...then mysterious disease.
Beanie had big round sores, all scabby and itchy like crazy all ovfur my belly and my nether regionals. I was biting em and biting em.
Mama freaked out. Evfurrybody was giving Mama a hard time about wanting to take me to the eVet and said I could wait 24 hours, it wouldn't kill me.
She said to Papa and her friend both, and I quote, "Okay, why don't you let me get some stinging nettles from the back yard, rub them all over YOUR belly, bunses and generals, and see if YOU want to deal with that for an additional 24 hours if you didn't have to?"
GO GET EM, MAMA! Beanie appreesheates your fierce proteckshun and high regard for my generals and bunses! BOL!
It turns out I has a bacterial infection, and need antibiotics and medicated baths twice a week. The Dogtor says EVFURRY time I go swimming in the lake, Mama should rinse me off REAL good when we get home. There's all kinds of nasty bugs in them waters. PEEPOLES should do this too.
Mama is just glad I don't have ringworm, mange, fleas or any of the other potential diseases she learned of through Dogtor Google.
The goodness is soon my owies will be gone. The bad news is yesfurday I had a 10 minute lathering bath with Mama. She looked like Freddy Krueger after we were done, cause she got right in the tub with me (not soaking, just the water running down the drain.)