February 12th 2013 6:06 pm
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I think that the meaning is clear: I shall have to find a new home. Mom has it in for me.
I really don't know where I shall find a home suitable to the complicated needs of taking care of ME, Queen Sophine. The conditions here have been barely adequate; I've have barely the attention that I need to thrive.
Pennie could survive in the Great Outdoors. She would thrive hunting for her own meals, enjoying the gamey taste of mole, rabbit, and field mouse. I have a more delicate palate. I prefer human food, or at the very least, human cast off food. Being short and delicate-pawed, it is unlikely that I would be able to turn over one of the giant Suburbia-sized trash cans in order to feed myself.
What has brought me to this lowly state?
First there was the incident in which Mom attempted to smother me with the pillow. She still "claims" that it was an accident.
Today it was made clear that I am expendable. Mom would cast me off in order to save someone higher in the family.
Pennie and I took Mom for a walk today. We were minding our own business, when out of nowhere a Killer Terrier attacked! It was as if the Killer Rabbit from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" had emerged from the streets of Suburbia. As I did not have the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch at my disposal, I was forced to endure this 10 pound black reign of terror.
This Killer Terrier was not only vicious, it was stupid. It was biting and attacking Pennie. Pennie was rapidly becoming enraged, and Mom was certain that Pennie would dispatch that Killer Terrier in one bite.
This is what Mom did: She sacrificed ME, Sophie. Yes, she grabbed Pennie extremely securely, to prevent Pennie from responding to the vicious attacks of the Killer Terrier. In the meantime, I was left defenseless, left forsaken by my own Mother.
This is what Mom claims: She claims that Pennie would have killed or wounded that Killer Terrier with just one bite if that Killer Terrier had kept biting Pennie. Mom claims that she knew that I was capable of far more restraint, and if I chose to defend myself, that I would not maim the Killer Terrier. In other words, Mom not only chose me as expendable, but she thinks I am a defenseless wimp, as well.
I have no choice but to consider myself available for re-homing, if I can only find a home capable of giving me the utter adoration that I require. In the meantime, I plan to make Mom feel as guilty as possible.
Leave A Comment | 5 people already have
Making da momma feel guilty are always a good plan!
Yeah, lay on the guilt, things will cool off.
Don't start packin your stuff just yet.
Yeah, Whitwey an' Zoe r wite. Wif our Mommas, gilt werks wike kwyptonite werks on Superman. Yu r gonna OWN dat pwace, Sophie! Jus' be payshunt! It r SO gonna be worf it :D
You can come down to me in Louisville. I need someone to supervise my life and keep my bed warm.
I would be happy to move to Louisville, to supervise Oldest Lad. Let me just pack up all my deer antler gnaws, and I shall be ready to go.