November 20th 2012 1:37 pm
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This afternoon, Mom headed to Tax Payer-Funded Public High School to pick up Middle Lad from staying after school for Jazz Ensemble. He plays the Alto Saxophone in the Jazz Ensemble. I was sitting in the front seat of the van, Pennie in the middle seat, and Daisy in the back. Daisy is joining us for a few days while Daisy's Man visits his family. Middle Lad decided that since he is important enough to have auditioned and qualified for Jazz Ensemble, that he thereby qualified to take MY SEAT. I was summarily shoved into the mid-section of the van, where I hunted down a perfectly good, although pre-chewed, piece of sugarless gum. I was intent on giving my near-perfect dentition a going over with that gum, as it is well known that a 1976 survey proved that 4 out of 5 dentists surveyed preferred sugarless gum. (The fifth dentist preferred no gum, not sugared gum.)

As I was chewing my sugarless gum, preferred by 4 out of 5 dentists, Middle Lad, who cannot hear Dad screaming at him to "turn out the lights, for the x&2*ing last time," COULD hear my mandibles and their excellent dentition.

Middle Lad forced me to cough out my gum. It landed in a gum wad, along with the chewed wrapper, on the inside arm rest of the mini-van passenger door. There that gum wad lay, with me straining in Middle Lad's arms to reach it, and Mom and Middle Lad just staring at that coughed out wad of perfectly still good pre-chewed gum.

Once home, I was forced to exit the vehicle and Mom obtained a wipe to remove the gum wad.