My Tail of Devotion for Oscar Meyer Wiener Dog

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College Midterms

Okay my college friends we need to have a talk. Its midterm time around the University of Florida and it's my job to help all my friends cope through this difficult time. You might notice your not getting the same amount of attention that you are used to and no matter how many times you throw yourself down on their books, they just don't scratch your tummy the same way. It is my understanding that these times, although difficult, do not last forever and soon your Mommy or Daddy will be right back to their loving selves, either that or moving back home after failing their classes (yikes!). The best way to get through these times are to make things a little easier for your college pal. Clean your plate, lick and lick and lick until there is nothng left on it. If you have to eat something, because college hunger pains are the worst, try your best not to eat homework, study notes, or even power supplies for laptops and cell phones. (Y'all will have to ask Laney about that one.) If your Momma doesn't have time for a walk, run around the apartment, she might think you're crazy and at least open the sliding glass door or something. All of this stress for a college eduction, my spots are becoming more gray! Well, I must be off to help my Mom hit the books, well at least I won't hide them from her like I did last time I thought she needed a break.

Hope we survive midterms!
Be good dogs,
Oscar

Our Car Accident....

First off... don't anyone worry, me and that pesky puppy Laney are just fine. You are relieved aren't cha? Anyway, Momma was driving home from taking Aunt Jessica to class. She is a very safe driver and we always ride places so we do not have to go in our box. I was sitting in my seat just minding my own bussiness, the pup was asleep in the backseat when I looked out of the corner of my eye and this old man was changing lanes right into Momma. He didn't even have a blinking light on saying he was changing lanes. All of a sudden.... BOOM! He drove right into her. We stopped and he got out yelling saying how she hit him. I wanted to bite that old man on his... well you know what. Then he proceeded to say we were distracting her, yeah sleeping is very distracting. He was distracted, prolly didn't have his glasses on or something, he didn't age as well as I am. The cop was nice, didn't think I was well enough to give a statment or something because he never asked me what happened. I told Momma to let me out and I would go pee on his tires. That old man got away with nothing...he thinks. Momma told me we will see him in court again and that he'll be paying for these gray spots. :) No officer, I'm not a dapple doxie, these are from the stress of the accident... *wink wink* Anyway we just wanna see Momma's car fixed and let all of our friends know we are all well!

Be a good human, go feed your friend!... Steak!

Oscar & Laney (Jessica's "Baby")

Living With A Puppy

Hey everyone, it is just me again. Thanks for coming back to my diary page. I've got a little word of advice for all of you middle aged pals of mine who are having your world flipped upside down by a... "new addition to the family". Here in college land the family had been my Mom Tiffany and her best friend Jessica and then a guinea pig and of course, me. I wasn't too worried about the guinea pig you see, I could eat him whenever I wanted to. I think he knew that too. Then Christmas came. I sure did get a lot of good toys but someone thought it bright to give Jessica a "new friend". This new friend of hers also has four legs and a tail like me which wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't armed with little pointed teeth. That's right! It's a puppy! Why do you think I'm fixed, so I don't have to deal with these youngins. She chews on my legs, my ears and my tail. She steals my food and my attention. Everyone all together now... "Poor Oscar!"
If anything good comes out of this though it is that they can't blame me for everything that goes wrong around here. I don't know who had an accident on the carpet... must have been the puppy. She is young and doesn't know better.... *wink wink*. So my older friends, use these troubled times to your advantage but guard your tails!

Be a good human and read to your pals,
Oscar

P.S. Puppies are bad but Laney might grow up some day. I am hoping for soon.

New Apartment... Day 5

Yes, that is right. My mother and her best friend/roommate Jessica and her little furry turd Laney decieded we were all going to move to a new apartment. I'm kinda old and moves do not go well with me, so I have to tell everyone I see how angry I am. I love to bark. I barked at the big dogs that live here, I bark at the small dogs that live here. I even bark at the man who delievers the mail. Just between us, I never did like the mail man anywhere we have lived. Anyway, this new apartment isn't so bad. Tiffany gets angry sometimes, I think it is because I use the bathroom in the house without telling her first. She thinks I am not housebroken and am too old to learn but the joke is on her, I just do it when she or that stinky puppy makes me angry. Lets say for example the puppy took my bone, well I have a present waiting to get even for that one. Yes, it is a dog's life.

Until next time,
Be a good human.

Oscar