Life styles of the wrinkly and famous

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Unusual Punishment

June 21st 2011 5:03 pm
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So today was bath day for Missy and I, which I am okay with. Mommy got us in our jewelry and told Dad she would load us in the car and wait for him. Mommy had both Missy and I on our leashes and started out with her purse and two bags. Missy just trotted along nicely with Mom while I was all excited and happy. Dad finds that behavior to be charming Mom not so much. We get to the car she tells us to sit so she can unlock the door, goody two shoes Missy does just that and stares at Mommy with happy eyes. I however see a truck coming and run around Mommy's leg three times. She opened the door the truck drove by while she was trying to get untangled and I jumped into the car taking Mommy down. All the while Missy stays in her sit and just looks at me and Mommy with her mouth wide open. Mommy praises Missy and tells her to load and she does being a goody two shoes and all.

Now I just want to clarify that I didn't trip Mommy on purpose. I was just super excited to get to go with her and Daddy that I forgot my manners. Mommy was sore and slightly upset with me but, kissed me on the nose anyways and said "Never again got it?" I got it I swear. Well we got to the shop and Mommy being sore didn't take us out of the car Daddy did. Mommy walked ahead to unlock the shop door because Grandma getting stung by a wasp made us late. I again got carried away and panicked because Mommy was leaving me so I ran super fast and got wrapped around her again. She didn't fall this time she just stopped and looked at me and then at Daddy. Daddy said "We are getting the stink eye Boo I need to keep you closer."

We got in Dad took us to the back and put us in a kennel. Mommy checked in her English Cocker Spaniel and then got to work. Well after the dogs were done it was our turn. Missy got to go first always does cause Mommy has to do more to her. Then came me, I did great for the bath with Daddy. He then put me on Mommy's table where Mommy did my nails and said "You know what Boo Boo? Your punishment for tripping Mommy is painted nails."

Daddy and I gave her a crazy look of shock and Mommy pulled out Lime Green nail polish and started painting my nails. Daddy looked at me and said "Well dude you know not to trip her again." I gave him the saddest look I could muster and Mommy said "Not working Boo Boo Bear. Not this time." So now I have Lime Green nails.

My lesson was learned. Follow Mommy's rules or next time the nails will be pink.

 

Tough Guy

May 25th 2011 8:36 pm
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Okay so today I was downstairs with Mommy, Daddy, Missy, Aunt Chrissy, Grandma and the Terrors I was minding my own business like I always do. Trying to be Mr. Cute and Friendly cause that is what I do best when Cha Cha Grandma's youngest Cairn Terrier attacked me. She got my face pretty good. Mommy and Daddy cleaned it up and are going to watch me because I usually heal pretty fast but, this one is one of the worst ouchies I have had. So if it doesn't get better looks like I will have a date with the vet.

Here is to hoping that my awesome shar pei healing kicks in on this one.

 

Trying My Hardest

May 21st 2011 10:35 pm
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So Mommy hasn't been feeling good for the last two weeks or longer (I am not good with dates but, know it has been at least two weeks.) and I have been trying to do everything I can to make her feel better. When she was running a really high fever Missy and I crawled into bed with her and kept her warm. Then when her fever broke and she got super hot I gave her lots of kisses to cool her off.

She says she appreciates my helping and told me that she will be okay and that she is slowly getting better but, I still worry about her. I mean she can't breathe from her nose still and is coughing like crazy. When she is laying down I have been resting my head on her chest and I can hear water or something in her lungs, yet she is telling me she is okay. Maybe she should see my doctor because, he always makes me and Missy feel better.

I think she should take a day off at least but, she refuses too. She is super stubborn, I guess that is where Missy gets it from. BOL! Needless to say both Missy and I have been behaving and trying to help Mommy feel better. Dad has even been trying but, he looks like a clumsy ox trying to help her out. Plus all he keeps asking is "What can I do?" "How can I help?" Mommy doesn't have an answer and Daddy is upset over this. Mommy keeps saying Missy and I are the best nurses ever. I hope she isn't just saying that to be nice.

Hopefully Mommy is better soon and I can write more diary entries. Needless to say diary entries come second to Mommy and since Mommy isn't feeling good the diary gets to wait.

 

Think Camouflage

May 11th 2011 5:59 pm
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So Missy has been going to work with Mommy since her surgery and that is fine by me because, it is nice to have the bed and futon to myself. Plus I hate being in a kennel unlike Missy who is okay with it. (I don't know what is wrong with her but, there are some screws loose in her head clearly.) Well the alone time has been super sweet, me and my kitties all relaxing in front of the air machine. Mom and them are never gone for too long on top of it all so that means I am only alone for a couple of hours and then I get people time again works out for me.

Well yesterday Mom and them didn't work in the morning but, Mom left and went to a flea market. I don't know why she would want to go to a market to buy fleas seeing how she hates fleas but, that is where she went with Grandma and Aunt Renee (Great Aunt Renee to me.) They came home around 3:30 picked up Daddy and left Missy and I at home. That meant no alone time for me. Fine I will deal with sharing the futon and bed cause I can't sleep on both at the same time anyways.

Mom, Dad and Grandma were gone for about 3 hours and I am assuming they were at work because when Dad and Grandma came home they smelt like dogs which is normal for them. Now it was Mommy that threw me for a loop. She was covered in white hairs and smelt like a Husky. To be honest with you she kinda looked like one too. I had to seriously do a double take to make sure that was my Mommy. I mean she had white hair on her clothes, her hair, eyebrows, glasses, up her nose and even in her eyes. She was taking camouflage to an extreme. I can see why deers and moose get confused when humans dress up like trees now and put their urine smells on them.

So for a couple hours I was cautious of Mom because, she smelt and looked like a Husky which led me to believe that she might have been hunting Huskies and that is just not okay with me. Huskies are my friends and they have feelings so I wanted nothing to do with Mommy. Mommy showered and still smelt like a Husky and was still pulling Husky hair out of her eyeball. She keeps telling me that she was just bathing really hairy dogs but, I don't know if I should trust her just yet.

I told Missy about what I thought was going on and sent Missy with her to work today and Missy assured me today there was no foul play going when it came to Mommy. Which makes me feel a little bit better but, don't worry all of my Husky friends out there. I will keep an eye out on my Mommy to be extra safe.

 

Drama King

April 25th 2011 8:01 pm
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Okay so this week has been super busy for everyone especially my two legged family. With this whole Easter thing and having to help Grandma move the last of her what Mom calls junk to the new house it seems like I didn't see much of them.

So here the other day they were out front trying to kill the foxtails with this stuff that is pet friendly and of course didn't work, go figure. That just peeved Mommy because, the foxtails are really bad and are tearing up poor Missy and Suki and Mom and Grandma are at their wits ends over them. Mom is about ready to kill off all of the grass and re-seed the yard but, she knows how much Missy loves the grass and doesn't want to disappoint her.

Anyways while they were doing that I was running in and out of the back door and I tripped in a hole. Mind you I could walk on my leg but, that wouldn't get me the attention I was seeking so I started limping. Dad of course came in and saw me limping and started yelling for Mom. Mom and Grandma came in and looked my leg over thoroughly and felt it was just sore and bruised. Well I kept limping and making Dad worry and he was swearing up and down it was broken. Mom knowing more then Dad when it comes to us fur-kids said leave me be and let me rest. Well there was no way I was going to rest without one of them sitting with me on the couch and loving on me. So Mom did that for about an hour and had to listen Dad say it was broken before she got frustrated and gave me some aspirin and said she was leaving.

Mom left and I was sad so I got off of the couch and signaled for Missy to bark that she wanted to go outside and Dad let us out. I was walking fine at that moment so Dad called Mom to inform her of the news and she said "Yeah I figured. He is being a drama king." Mom actually called me a drama king how dare she! Now mind you it was true but, to actually say out loud instead of just thinking it to herself was just rude. Dad said he is still worried so Mom called the vet and of course the vet said Mom did what was right and to just watch me for a couple of days and if I keep limping bring me in.

I haven't limped since of course and I was being a drama king for attention but, I always call it a pei thing and for Mom to call me a drama king kinda stung. She has since made it up to me with treats but, still I feel it was rude.

 

Easter Bunny...

April 14th 2011 9:55 pm
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So we are almost all moved over to the new place. Things are kinda crazy around here with all of us living together. (Us being Missy and I and Grandma's three Cairn Terriers plus Aunt Chrissy's three Jack Russel Terriers.) Missy and I are already well adjusted to the new place and I am of course still almost everyone's favorite because I never bark and I listen unlike Missy who barks a lot and listens and those terriers who bark a lot and never listen. BOL! I have been running like crazy in the new huge yard. I am getting toned if you ask Daddy. I am now nothing but, wrinkled muscle now days. That's right I am bringing sexy back! BOL!

Well Mommy decided that after Grandma almost lost Suki she didn't want to risk losing us. Even though we are micro chipped and all of that she still worries. She knows I would never leave the yard but, Missy being part Pyrenees means all sorts of trouble. So Mommy took Missy for a walk and they saw a bunny. Mommy tried to catch the bunny but, she was too slow and big dumb Missy just let the bunny run right underneath her legs. BOL!

Mommy came home after that walk saying Missy was a horrible working dog, which I don't disagree with most of the time but, this time I will defend the big dork. Mommy raised Missy and I to love the kitties, guinea pigs, ferrets, chinchilla, koi, snakes, turtles and tortoises and to be gentle with them. I mean seriously we let the ferrets pick on us until they died of old age finally. Let's just say those things are quick and sneaky. They also like to nip you to play. What are they herding dogs? So when the bunny ran at Missy she didn't know what it was and just assumed it was a big guinea pig and let it run right by her without even thinking about.

Anyways Mommy told Grandma about the bunny and Grandma didn't believe her until today. Grandma was on her way out to go pick up Aunt Chrissy when guess what she saw the bunny! He was on the porch sleeping with our four outside kitties! Grandma dropped her purse and caught the bunny for Mommy. I inspected this bunny with Missy, Mommy and Daddy, I must say this bunny is odd looking. Besides all of his ouchies from being picked on out in the wild by the stray kitties in the neighborhood and random terrier like dogs. He has bald ears and they don't stick up! Bunnies have up in the air ears and this guys ears are hanging down! I tried telling Mommy and Daddy that there was something wrong with this bunny because his ears are all wrong and Mommy said "He is a Mini-Lop Monty don't worry about it." How can I not worry about this bunny having messed up ears?!?! It would be like Missy being quiet, you have to worry about it. If there is no noise coming from Missy that means something bad is happening. So this bunnies ears being floppy is a serious concern. I think Mommy needs to get them ears x-rayed because they are clearly broken if they can't stand up on their own.

I feel bad for the bunny because of his floppy ears. No wonder he was all alone outside and scared. Thankfully the outside kitties are horrible at being kitties and wonderful and welcoming all sorts of "friends" is what Grandma calls them. Needless to say I don't know how Easter is going to happen when Mommy has the Easter Bunny in a cage now and his ears are broken!

 

Interesting Day.

March 24th 2011 9:31 pm
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Today started off the same as always Mom and Dad got up and got ready for work while Missy and I stayed in their bed cause it was warm. Before leaving for work Mommy took us outside to go potty that meant they were leaving soon. I stepped outside and it was dark and cold so I ran and did my business and ran in. Missy smelt the air like always and then did her thing.

Mom and Dad left for work and as always Dad told me I am in charge of the house. I am the only man in the house besides Dad so I accept these responsibilities. I barked to let everyone know I was on patrol and then slept for awhile. I woke up and got into some trouble which I am blaming the cold weather on.

Mom and Dad came home sent Missy and I outside and Mom cleaned up what I had dragged out meaning shoes and clothes. They smell like Mom and Dad I can't help it. It was raining when I went out and it was still super cold. I did my thing and gave Mom my sad face which she always falls for and came inside.

An hour later it got really loud in the house. Mom opened up the door and the wind was howling and all this hard stuff was crashing down from the sky. Mom told us not to go out there cause she didn't want us hurt but, I didn't listen and I got pelted with these hard ice balls that Mom calls hail. Then next thing I know the sky is growling which Mom called thunder and then it was lighting up off and on. Which I guess is called lightening and it comes with thunder often. Either way I didn't know what to think of all of that.

What I do know for sure is I do not like this stuff called hail. It hurts when it hits you and I should have listened to Mom when she said "Don't go outside you two or you will regret it."

 

I showed him!

March 15th 2011 4:35 pm
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So yesterday Daddy asked Mommy to go back home and pick up Missy and I so we can go to Mommy's shop and get a bath. Which was fine with me because, I won't lie was I was oily and stinky. I don't think Mommy liked burying her head into my wrinkly body with the odor that was coming from me and we can't have that cause I love to cuddle.

Now the bath part Missy and I are wonderful with. Missy likes it more then me of course but, I tolerate it never the less cause Mommy trained me too. Now that Mommy and Daddy work together, Daddy likes to do all the bathing which I will deal with cause Mommy told me I had to. Missy prefers Daddy for the bath cause he gives treats and I prefer Mommy cause she gives kisses and is faster then Daddy. Well it was all the standard procedures up until he put Missy's hair growth stuff onto my leg that was shaved cause he said he wants to hide the scar. Which Mommy doesn't mind seeing because it is easier for her to check for new cancer lumps and tell what is a lump and what is the veins the vet had to tie off. Either way when she checks me I get a massage so hey no complaining there.

Well he had that stuff sit on me for five whole minutes. I was just sitting in the tub all wet for five whole minutes. That is so not cool. I was going to let him know that later, one way or another. Mommy came back to the tub and kissed me and let me kiss her then went back to drying Missy, which made me feel a little better.

After I was all rinsed and dried Daddy pulled me out and put me on Mommy's grooming table, Mommy was sitting on the zebra bench talking to Grandma and looked at me and said "I love you Boo Boo Bear." She then asked Daddy why I was on the table, he said he wanted to file the sharp points off of my nails. I turned around from looking at Mommy and looked at Daddy with my "You say what face!" Then looked back at Mommy who Daddy was teasing about not loving me as much as she loved Missy (Missy is a Momma's girl and I won't lie I favor Daddy and Mommy knows that.) she told him "Whatever makes you sleep at night buddy." Meaning she knows he is just being a butthead. She also told him to tighten the loop on my neck if he was going to do my nails and he said "I know what I am doing." Mommy rolled her eyes at him walked up to me and kissed me and said "Your a good boy, you know what to do huh." I got her signal.

So I let Daddy do a foot by himself kinda, and then jumped off the table and ran to Mommy. She giggled and whispered "That's my handsome man." I wiggled all over in excitement. Daddy wasn't too pleased but, we laughed. What Daddy doesn't understand is I favor him more then Mommy because, he isn't the bad guy with me. Mommy ALWAYS does my nails on her own usually and I am home on the bed cuddling with her. Daddy just isn't Mommy when it comes to grooming and I wanted Daddy to know that.

Mommy ended up finishing my nails and going back over Daddy's work and I got treat for it, then I got to play with Daddy like I always do. Daddy is all pleasure and Mommy is all work he need to remember his place in our pack.

 

Not Again.

March 7th 2011 6:34 pm
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So it's that time of the year again. The trees are blossoming and my allergies are acting up. I am getting all red faced again, sneezing, runny eyes, itchy and my ears start bugging me. It is so bad right now. Mommy and Daddy were going to take Missy and I for a walk but, my allergies got so bad Daddy had to take me home and Mommy and Missy kept walking. So not cool!

Mommy and Daddy are going to call the vet and see if he can help me. They are both super worried about me because, allergies mean that my cancer can switch from non-aggressive to aggressive overnight. So we are back to checking me over like crazy. Don't get me wrong I love attention but, there is such thing as too much attention. Stupid histamines whatever they mean, thanks to them I am like this.

 

Oh no she didn't!

February 18th 2011 8:47 pm
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Okay so it has been raining for the last couple of days and I am not a huge fan of the rain, I will openly admit to that. On top of being wet it is cold so that is a big no go for me and Mommy knows that. Yet she keeps making me go outside and will not let me in until she sees me do my business.

Now here are some reasons why that isn't okay for me. Reason number one is I am a nervous pooper and Mommy knows that. I will not go number two if someone is watching me. Just like I will not go number two if I do not know the yard. I only go number two in three places right now in the yard and they are all wet and muddy. I do not like the mud on my poor feet. Reason number two it is raining! Nuff said on that one. Reason number three it is cold. I do not like the cold. I do not have a thick fur coat like Missy does.

So Mommy knows all of this and has decided to pick on me some more. She pulled out my hoodie and jacket. I get that I don't like the rain and the cold but, the terriers make fun of me when I am wearing the hoodie and jacket. Missy even chuckles about it.

Now I know everyone is thinking "Well Monty you do have to go potty you know." I am aware of that and I know I cannot go on the floor in the house but, I do know how to mimic the cats and go in their giant litter box. Why can't Mommy let me just do that instead of going outside in the cold rain? Why must she keep putting me in my waterproof jacket and stare at me until I go outside? If I really have to go I can use the box or I can wait out the cold and the rain. Not like Mommy is a weatherman she is just my Mommy. I refuse to think she is right about it raining all next week too.

 
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