Cleopatra's Classified Column

My Mummy, the sloppy wino!

July 26th 2012 1:49 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 6 people already have ]

Mummy had to go to the dentist today. Dentists are like vets 'cept they just look after human peoples' teeth and stuff. Anyway, I was over with Nana and Granddad and when she got back it was so funny! She looked like someone who got one of those buttocks injections I've seen on the telly, they make your lips look like you were stung by a buzzy bee or sumfin. And she was talking all weird - BOL!

Anyway, today was a lovely sunny day here across the 'lantic ocean in Ireland. So Mummy decided she'd sit outside and have a nice glass of wine. 'sept she was dribbling and drooling and slobbering all over the top she was wearing. She looked a bit loony toons. A sandwich short of a picnic. A spanner short of a toolkit. Not the full shilling. Away with the fairies.... (I'm sure my friends 'cross the 'lantic ocean have other non-Irish sayings to describe what I'm talking about, for some reason, we have a lot of sayings here to describe this particular affliction.....)

Cleo, what are you doing? Nothing Mummy! I'm just online getting some ideas for your birthday. But my birthday's not till September! Oh I know that Mummy, but I wanted to make sure I get you the perfect present this year. Oh Cleo, you are the sweetest little puppy in the whole world! It was such a lucky day I saw you in that pound and took you home! Yes, Mummy. Everyday I count my blessings that you rescued me from that awful place and took me to live in my wonderful forever home! (Better go before she gets too boisterous, you know what these mad drunks are like!) BOL!

 
 

Leave A Comment | 6 people already have

Barked by: Fizzy (Dogster Member)

July 26th 2012 at 7:23 pm

BOL!!! A sandwich short of a picnic!!! I've never heard that one before! I love it!
Barked by: Mr. Cutter (Pssst on the Right (Dogster Member)

July 26th 2012 at 8:11 pm

What's a "spanner"?

I might need to feature it as a Word of the Day.
~Mr. Cutter~
Barked by: Coco Rose (Dogster Member)

July 26th 2012 at 8:26 pm

I liked all of your examples but my favorite was "Away with the fairies" as it sounds kind of fun.
Barked by: Cleo (Dogster Member)

July 27th 2012 at 1:31 am

BOL! These are all sayings we use in Ireland to describe someone who's gone a bit nuts! Mr Cutter, a spanner is like a wrench. Spanner can also be used as a derogatory word for someone. I'll add more sayings if I think of them, BOL!
Barked by: Hershey (Dogster Member)

July 27th 2012 at 1:37 pm

BOL!!! Off her rocker! Got a screw loose! Not playing with a full deck! In la-la land! Lost her marbles! A few bricks short of a load! BOL!BOL!
Barked by: Cleo (Dogster Member)

July 27th 2012 at 5:13 pm

Oh Zaidie, I forgot all of those! What about this one? A screw short of a suspension bridge! BOL BOL! Just made that one up all by myself. Cos I'm clever like that!


Enter your comment information or log in if you have an account.

Fields marked with * are required


Anti-spam Challenge:
4 + 4 =

 

Cleo


Subscribe

(What does RSS do?)