December 18th 2011 6:07 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 19 people already have ]
Momma made another mess in the kitchen, pups. Honestly, I don't know how she does it.
She's been making cookies all weekend for when Ho Ho comes to our house. She says Ho Ho eats a LOT of cookies, and the more cookies you leave him, the more presents he leaves. My job is supervision. That's what Daddy says, anyhow. I gotta keep an eye on her, cause we all know how clumsy Momma is.
Anywoof, she was making cookies that she had to crush up a bunch of candy. She says they're called starlight mints. She's supposed to use candy canes, but she said she couldn't find any at the store. All she found were weird flavors, so she went with the mints. Normally Momma puts the candy in a bag and smashes em up real good with this big hammer thing. But she didn't have any bags, and she said she wasn't going to the store to get any cause she didn't feel like getting dressed. I don't get that. It's not like she was making cookies naked or anything. She HAD clothes on! Anywoof, she got an idea.
"Fizzy, I have an idea!"
Uh oh...that's one of those phrases that Daddy says I gotta be careful of. Momma's ideas are usually disastrous.
"I'll put these candies in a food processor and grind them up real good! Paula Deen does that!"
I dunno who Paula Deen is, but I'm guessing she's not as clumsy as Momma is. I don't think this is such a good idea...
"Don't be silly, Fizzbutt, it'll be fine!"
Uh oh. "It'll be fine" is another red alert phrase.
As I was sitting there wondering if I should run upstairs and tell Daddy what was going on, Momma puts the candies in the processor. She was having a hard time getting the lid on. She finally got it on, and this is what I heard.
"SON OF A *bleep* MOTHER *bleep* ARE YOU *bleep* KIDDING ME?????"
I opened my eyes and Momma was white. Whiter than normal. Even her glasses were white.
Daddy came running downstairs. He looked in the kitchen. He looked at Momma. He sighed and looked at me. "Aren't you supposed to STOP her from doing these things, Fizzy?" Sorry, Daddy.
What happened was, when Momma was having a hard time putting the lid on, she musta cracked it. Or it was already broken, she's not sure. The first two times she pushed the button, she thought she saw white stuff coming out of the lid. She put her face closer to take a better look, and when she pressed the button, the lid popped off and them candies exploded. In her face.
She said she could smell like worse things than peppermint candies. I kinda think she smelled like toothpaste. It took her a while to clean up the kitchen, cause them candies are real sticky.
"Well, Fizzy, I guess I wouldn't be me if I didn't make at least ONE mess."
That's so true, Momma.
And guess what else, pups?! Momma told me today that her and Daddy have 5 more wake ups and then it's Christmas vacation! WOO HOOOOO! That means HO HO'S COMING SOON!!!!!
Leave A Comment | 19 people already have
OMD! Did your Daddy take any pics...BOL!
My Opa (grandpaw) did something like that once with whipping cream...What a MESS!
I hope your Momma face didn't get hurt by that kitchen mess making episode...
UH OH! Good job Fizzy on supervisin', I think you did a pawsome job. After all, we haf to remind our humans that they are not perfect! Did you score anything dropped on the floor? Mommy made cherry icebox cookies today, and I very patiently waited for some batter to drop, but nothing did. Phooey.
At least your moms make cookies!
It's a good thing Momma had her glasses on and not the plastic things she puts in her eyes, otherwise it might have hurt! I didn't score anything good, Rudy Roo...I was too scared to go in the kitchen with all the swears going on!
*grins* oh man... your mom - yes, her idea sounds not good
Woofs and kisses, Jolanda and sonja
My was over here ROFL! too funny! Sounded like a entry for America's Funniest Videos to me!
BOL! Sorry, but that are just too funny!
This is soooooooooooooooo funny - BOL, BOL
Maybe Santa will bring momma a new food processor for Christmas.
Paula Deen may do that kind of stuff but she is a Professional. Like they say on tv, don't try this at home.
Coco Rose, a new food processor or a a big box of plastic bags and a new hammer.
OMD!! that sounds like our house on Sat. too, Mom was trying to crush up fine candy canes, and she made a mess too...those Moms are so crazy!!
BOL BOL! That's too funny, as long as no one got hurt. It is a shame there wasn't a picture.
OMD!! I woulda been runnin' away! BOL!! Glad she's okay!
Hi Zoe, I would forget about the plastic bags because they can explode when hammering with the hammer and judging from the comments Fizzy's momma made she might have some pent up anger - BOL, BOL.
Perhaps a clean pillow case would serve momma better. She could hammer all she wants then when finished toss the pillow case in the washing machine on HOT to disolve any candy canes still inside. It would be even better if it is a baby sized pillow case...just a suggestion.
Momma says that she doesn't use a hammer. She uses something called a meat tenderizer, but it sure looks like a hammer to me. And she says she's not making these cookies again. They're delicious, but the mess was NOT worth it. Daddy loves them, so she says if he wants them, HE has to crush up the candies next year!
Here is another suggestion - use a cleaned coffee grinder next year.
Mama looked it up online to see if there was an easy way and here's some suggestions:
1) Freeze them first before crushing
3) Using the pillowcase like Coco Rose suggested
4) Roll over them with a rolling pin.
Maybe use several pieces of wax paper on top and on bottom and then crush.
Okay - this is my final suggestion:
Wrap them multiple times in plastic wrap and place them in a plastic bag. Go out to your car and place the bundle of wrapped candy canes under one of the car's tires. Get into the car, start it and drive over the candy canes. They will be crushed - BOL, BOL
Someone suggested that too Coco Rose. AND on YouTube there's a video of a girl stomping on them with boots (in a plastic bag of course.)
OMD! BOL! Momma had no idea her clumsiness would cause peeps to do research!! BOL BOL BOL! The car thing sounds dangerous. Maybe freezing them would work!!!