February 14th 2012 3:58 pm
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Dear Augie, I miss you so much. It's your Birthday, you would have been 7 I believe...although we will never know for sure since we rescued you....I wish you were here...so I could see you dance your lil dance...trot up and down the hall with your doggy smile...those sweet eyes...How I miss them so....I pray you are safe, happy, and healthy...running free amongst the angels there in Heaven...I will miss you forever...my lil Augie...you deserved so much more. I tried to make you better...but the medicine could only do so much...I found your fur stuck to a lil cat toy while cleaning this past Sunday...I set it back down by the chair...not ready to erase all of you...just not yet...maybe not ever...If I could I would hug you close, give you all the kisses in the world...tell you Happy Valentine's Day...and most of all...Happy Birthday...Missing you so much it hurts...Love you baby bear, Mommy...
October 18th 2011 10:16 pm
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There's a little black cat...who lives outside my place of work. I watch this cat, from my window, occasionally hunting and catching his prey. I admire that cat, for being on his own, and yet finding the strength, courage, and willingness to survive on his own. I often think about that cat...wonder if I had spotted him as a kitten, if I could have "saved" him. Yet, now that he is grown, I know that the chances of him adapting to a domestic life are slim. I take comfort on those days when I see him taking control of his own life...making it into what he knows as a good life. After all, that's all he does know...how to survive...the instinct is innate...
Yet today, as I left work, after another long and exhausting day...I stopped just before the door. I looked outside, saw the tiny raindrops beginning to fall...the darkness slowly overcoming the light, and the cool breeze coming through the doors. I then pulled my hood over my head, and reached into my purse for my keys. As I made the walk to my car, I was surrounded by silence...and a strange yearning to know where the cat was...if he was okay. I then began to wonder what winter would be like for this cat...alone...on his own...in that large empty field. Suddenly, I stopped. Something made me look out to the field. There, over 100 yards away, was the black cat. Sitting on top of a fence. In the cold rain.
I wanted to go to him, yet I knew from experience that it was no use. I felt sad as I was about to enter my warm and dry car. Then, to my surprise, I noticed the cat was moving. Yes, in the cold rain, he was walking along the top rails of the fence. So gracefully, so full of confidence. Oblivious to the cold, the rain, the darkness surrounding him. He had a will, a will to survive. To carry on with his day, his life...to move forward with out fear or hesitance. It was in this moment that I, too, realized what was possible. That I, like that cat, can keep moving forward, on my own. I too, like that cat, would survive.
October 12th 2011 4:39 pm
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This is a message I tried to leave for Tux, but it kept saying error 3...so I am posting it here...
Thanks for your condolences...Mommy said I did the EXACT same thing on Monday...I went outside and just stood there. I stood there for 10 minutes with out moving...I did the same thing in front of my bowl...Tuesday, I went outside and stood for 5 minutes, then walked around for a few. Then stopped and stood. Mommy came to get me...and I took 2 steps...laid down on my side...and refused to get up...She knew then what she had to do. Just 2 days earlier I was playing in the yard...eating...running and rolling in the grass...Mommy can't believe it happened so fast...I will see you, Tux, at the Bridge...Thank you for your support...Mommy is sorry for you and your family...she thinks your life story was beautiful! As are you!
Also, THANK you friends, for all of the gifts...Mommy will help me thank you all personally when she has a few more days to deal with my leaving...Love, Augie