October 9th 2007 3:26 pm
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I remember that very first day at the Humane Society. The place where I got your big sister, Savanna. I went back with Savanna five years later, because she told me that she wanted a sister...and I wanted one for her.
The lady at the Humane Society was insistant upon you. No matter what other fur kids Mommy looked at, she kept bringing me back to you...."What about Peanut?" she'd say. I didn't want you. I always thought that little dogs were yappy and fresh. She changed my mind really fast when she told me that you were being put to sleep that day if no one took you home. There was NO WAY that I would turn away from you after she said that.
Of course, from that moment on, you were my little heart. Off to Dr. Farr we went....from then on...you were HER little Pip! She loved you. You were such a little toughy! So little, yet you packed so much punch. You were sweet and kind and gentle - yet tough when you needed to be.
Peanut? Peanut? You were no Peanut! You needed a new name, with a new Mommy, and new and wonderful memories. After Dr. Farr, we took you and Savanna out to a pumpkin patch. It was October 21, 1993 and we needed to celebrate somehow. So why not take you and Savanna pumpkin picking?!
When we got out of the car and you began PULLING me through the pumpkin patch, I watched you, and laughed out loud. The first thing that came to my mind that reminded me of how you behaved was the movie Fried Green Tomatoes and the main character, Idgie Threadgoode. I looked at everyone and shouted - "SHE IS IDGIE THREADGOODE!" You made Mommy laugh so hard.
You definitely proved to be exactly like Idgie Threadgoode. Calm, sweet, beautiful, precocious, wild, free, strong, amazing, and STRONG willed.
You ran this house, from the moment you entered it.....and Savanna let you. I think Savanna was just as entertained with you as I was.
I told you all of these stories all the time, especially the week you were so sick - because I always wanted you to know how special and important you were. God MEANT for you to be mine, Idgie. You were MEANT to be, in every sense of the word.
I can remember when you were so young and little, and I used to lay on the floor and you would roll around in my long hair, and get tangled up in it. You would scratch my hair and bite it, and I would laugh so hard. You were so fiesty!
Soon after this, you wanted to see what life was like across the busy street. You squeezed between the spindles of our deck and jumped out - and got hit by a car. When Mommy saw you lying in the road, I didn't know what to do. I knelt over you, so that no other cars could hit you, while some people came to help. You were bleeding from your nose, your mouth, and your heiney...and things didn't look too good. We rushed you to the hospital and they told us that you had internal bleeding and a broken hip and shattered pelvis. They told me that IF you lived....IF....you would probably never walk...and IF you walked, you would absolutely positively NEVER hold your bladder. HA HA! You showed THEM who was in control. God blessed me and I got a second chance with you. The first day of trying to teach you to walk again, they told me to wrap a bandanna around your waist to support and steady you while you TRIED to walk. Silly Mommy! You jumped OUT of that bandanna and ran through the grass and went potty. You never had trouble holding your bladder either. It was a miracle. If Mommy never said anything, no one would ever have guessed that you weren't supposed to live, weren't supposed to walk and were supposed to go pee pee in the house for the rest of your life. Not even a limp!
Lovey Love... I miss you so....
You went through everything with Mommy. You helped me when Grandma Faye (my Mom) was dying. You helped me when we lost your Uncle Wayne (my brother) that you adored. I wonder if you are dancing for him now? You were always his favorite and he was always yours.
If I didn't have you when Savanna passed away, I would have died. It was YOU, Idgie, who carried Mommy through that.
You helped me through losing Grandpa (my Grandpa)two years ago and Grandma (my Grandma) three weeks ago.
You were so strong that you never showed any signs of being sick. You were beautiful! Your checkup was beautiful and your blood work was perfect. Even your kidney levels were perfect. What did I miss, honey? What was it that Mommy didn't see? Everytime one of you even looks at me funny, I take you to the vet. What did Mommy overlook? How did this happen to you?
I miss my little face. I miss your little chocolate eyes and your black liquorice nose and lips, and I miss kissing all of them, and telling you how much I love them. I miss kissing your little paws and telling you that you are my princess. I miss kissing your little ears, and telling you that you were a little piglet if they were dirty. I miss stepping out of the shower, and you sleeping on my bathrug. I miss watching you eat, PASSIONATELY! You loved to eat and you loved your food...and you ate it with passion. I used to love to sit on the floor, after I put yours and Jordie's bowls of food down, and just watch you eat. Yes! Mommy enjoyed watching you eat.
I miss kissing you goodnite and saying "Good Night and God Bless You, Idgie - Mommy loves you with all of her heart." I miss waking up and looking at you and saying, "Idgie, we have another day together!"
What will I do? What will I do without my little face? My sweetest little heart? My shining star?
Your Idgiemobile - SUV - 3 wheeled stroller sits in the garage, waiting for you to take a ride in it. Your bed waits for you to lay in it. Your sister Jordan waits for you to snuggle with her. Patches waits to follow you around, because she is so unsure of herself. We wait Idgie....but there is no Idgie. My heart feels like it is going to explode. I have no tough little Idgie to help me make it better - to help Mommy to be strong. I don't know if I can do this. I just don't know.
All I do know is that I love you and miss you so. And all I really do know is that I just don't know.
In the movie Fried Green Tomatoes, Idgie Threadgoode says "A heart can be broken, yet keep right on beating just the same."
Tell me, my Idgie, how does that happen? How can a heart be broken, yet keep beating just the same?
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