Rules for Puppies from the K9 Comedy Club Group

Are you looking for fun dog stories and the like? Check out the K9 Comedy Club Group! Here's a recent posting from Hope. Rules for...

dogedit  |  Jul 29th 2006

Rules For Puppies

Are you looking for fun dog stories and the like? Check out the K9 Comedy Club Group! Here’s a recent posting from Hope.

Rules for Puppies

The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.

I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m lying under the coffee table.

I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.

I will not eat the cats’ food, before or after they eat it.

I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up.

I will not roll on dead birds, fish, rodents, etc. “Kitty box crunchies” are not food.

And should I forget, I will not lick my human’s face after eating “Kitty box crunchies”. (Joy note — add to that poopcickles or poop tarts)

The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

I will not wake Mommy up by sticking my cold, wet nose against her bottom end.

I will not chew my human’s toothbrush and not tell them.

I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.

When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it’s raining outside.

We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.

I will not steal my Mom’s underwear and dance all over the back yard with it.

The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dad’s laps.

My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

I will not bite the officer’s hand when he reaches in for Mom’s driver’s license and car registration.

After reading through these again, I think I’ll post them on the refrigerator for ALL the pack to see and read!

Thanks Hope!