Thanks to Jim Willis for sending us a spanking new piece!
The majority of animal rescuers are women – and this is my tribute to those hardy souls. We men and the animals couldn’t do without you.
Permission granted to cross-post; please retain the header. From my next book, a work in progress and not yet titled.
Copyright Jim Willis 2006, all rights reserved
(Please download How Could You?” from the site and distribute it.)
Awoke to a hairball on my pillow,
I found kitty litter in my shoes.
Have to give the cat a pill OW!!
And Ive got the Rescuers Blues.
A dog ate the kids lunches,
(and I think the remote control, too).
My hair is clumped in bunches,
and I have a vet appointment at two.
I tell people I lost my husband,
they give me sympathetic looks,
actually he ran off with his garage band
and took up with a woman who cooks.
The dishes need a washing,
the laundrys stacked in piles.
A Chihuahua is alpha bossing
and has the Rottweiler riled.
Gotta call about a foster MinPin
and explained hed need a neuter.
This idiot said he planned to breed him
Someone thinks testicles are cuter?
The electric could be shut off,
and I hope I dont sound crass,
but a bill collector just called me
and I told him to kiss my
Someone found a bird,
asked if I would take it
with the worst sob story Ive yet heard.
I havent seen a dentist
in so long, I dont know when,
but tomorrow the old Basset
is having a dental at 10.
My figure, I have lost it,
my sanitys not far behind.
My new shoes have been peed on
and are missing the ties that bind.
Im supposed to relay a dog on Sunday,
but dont know if I can afford the gas.
I count the minutes till payday
and the President can kiss my
Someone found one in a park –
called to see if I had room for him,
here at Noahs Ark.”
(Always wanted a dog who cant bark.)
People ask me why I do this
and I just shrug my shoulders and smile.
The unconditional love of a slobbery kiss?
It feels good going the extra mile.
For some critters I have saved the day,
despite these Rescuers Blues.
But Im still hoping someone will rescue me
(that on-line dating service I think Ill sue!).
Another great one! Thanks Jim!
BTW, I’ve got a GREAT interview with Jim done and waiting to go on the blog. Look for it here later this month (hopefully)!