Please tell me that I’m not a total b*tch, or at least let me know if you think there’s hope for me yet.
Here’s the problem: I’m a single mother to two adorable yet intense children, a 7-year-old girl and a 4-year-old boy. Though I love them dearly, they drive me absolutely insane on a regular basis, which is why dating has always been a bit of a challenge for me — because thrusting anyone into the chaos of a house with two young kids can tend to scare men off.
Almost a year ago, I met a wonderful man who was able to see past all of the “energy” that surrounds my kids and fall in love with the little people that they are. He loves me deeply, and further than that, he also loves my kids.
Which is why I feel like such a horrible person … because I really don’t like his dog.
His dog is a cute little 10-pound Chihuahua, whom he has lovingly shared his residence with for the last 12 years. Like any father-daughter relationship, she has him wrapped around her tiny little paw, which is obvious by the fact that what Chica wants, Chica gets.
And I have a problem with that because what Chica wants isn’t usually what I want.
I don’t want my face to be stepped on while I’m sleeping.
ALL. NIGHT. LONG.
But since Chica wants to sleep in my wonderful man’s bed (even when I’m sleeping over), Chica sleeps in his bed— whether I’m OK with it or not. And Chica doesn’t even like to sleep when I’m sleeping, nope, she likes to continuously step on my face. She literally walks back and forth across my face all night long, and when any attempt to remove her from the bed causes her to whine, cry, and eventually be moved back into the bed by my wonderful man, I don’t get any sleep at all, which is apparently fine with everyone … but me.
If Chica wants to sit between us while we watch a movie, Chica sits between us while we watch a movie, every single time. If Chica wants to go outside (and right back inside) every five minutes, we stop what we are doing every five minutes. If she wants to incessantly beg for everything we are eating, Chica is fed everything that we are eating.
And me? I think that I might be kind of a b*tch because I’m just not cool with any of this.
I feel very justified in saying that if I don’t let my kids step on your face while you are sleeping, then I don’t want your fur-kid stepping on my face while I’m sleeping. If I put my kids to bed so that we can have some alone time, then I don’t want your dog to be the buffer between us. If I don’t allow my kids to repeatedly ask you the same question 10 times in a row, then I don’t want your dog begging from me the entire time we eat dinner.
But then I instantly feel awful because here’s the thing: I realize that my wonderful man will always be sacrificing more by accepting the responsibility of my two kids than I will be by putting up with what I feel is one very annoying dog. And further, I don’t feel right about pushing Chica off to the side when this is the life that she has known for the past 12 years.
So, what’s a girl to do in this situation?
I would never in a million years want him to rehome Chica — in fact, I would probably break up with him if he did (because hello, totally unacceptable), but I just can’t figure out how to move past my issues with her, or even if I should have to.
Am I really the one who has the problem if he refuses to discipline her? Am I really the one who is supposed to fold and just be OK with everything Chica wants, or is there a compromise to be made here? I mean yes, I love my man for accepting my kids, but would they really be as likable if I never disciplined them?
Or am I just being petty considering all the changes he has had to make in his life to accept two kids? And am I being a b*tch for expecting Chica to change her life because I suddenly showed up?
So here I am, frustrated with him, frustrated with the dog, frustrated with myself, and left thinking that this 10-pound dog might actually crack me. Because if I have to wake up one more time with nail marks indented in my forehead and two eyeballs full of fur, I’m going to lose my mind.
Seriously, what on earth should I do? Should I be focusing more on accepting Chica or getting my man to understand that he needs to discipline her? Let me know in the comments!