The second week of Dogs in the City was better than the first, oddly. But who am I to argue with executive producer Carol Mendohlson? (She also executive produces CSI.) Ratings-wise, the show dropped from 6.7 million viewers for the premiere to 5.1 million viewers, so we know she is not doing one thing right.
Here are the best things about the episode.
1. Police Dogs!
Celebrity chef Justin Silver — wait, no, this isn’t a cooking show. But that’s not to say the personable Silver, with his quick wit and megawatt smile, wouldn’t make a fine celebrity chef. I believe if he were to so much as boil a hot dog he’d win Next Food Network Star, but that’s a column for another time.
To begin again, dog-trainer Justin Silver had a bitch (not in the dog sense) of a problem with two police dogs who lived with the same human partner. One police dog was retiring, like Robert Duvall in Falling Down, and one was beginning his career on the force, like Benjamin McKenzie in Southland. They weren’t too sure about each other; the rookie was brash and energetic, the old timer wise but not willing to give up his command without a good deal of gruff. Silver solved this by having the human partner’s son throw a ball to the old cop, and the old cop took one look at that ball flying down a length of grass and said, “Whoa! Screw law enforcement. If anybody asks, I’ll be going to get that ball.” And scene.
Watching this, I was reminded I like nothing better than watching police dogs do their thing. More police dogs, please.
2. Another Crazy New York Person
The premiere last week had a great Crazy New York Person — just a fine, outstanding example of the breed — and it’s nice to see the show continuing the trend. This Crazy New York Person lived in the Hotel Carlyle, a high-end lunatic asylum a bellhop told her was a residence. The crazy person had two babies, one a cute 5-month-old boy and the other a baby girl that looked exactly like a full-grown bulldog.
The baby girl that looked exactly like a bulldog got all the love. She was doted over and cried over, she ate pâté for every meal, she never left the “apartment,” she wore tutus.
The woman held the second baby like it was a barbecue chicken and she was wearing a wedding dress.
3. Justin Silver Talks to the Dogs
In the premiere, Silver took a dog aside and had a quiet, cute talk with the dog, but I didn’t pay much attention because I just thought he had lost his mind for a second. He did it again in this show, and it seems to be his thing.
But you know what? Silver makes it work. It’s cute. He’s good at talking to dogs. It’s like he shoved a scene from a romantic comedy in there, where Owen Wilson commiserates with Jennifer Aniston’s dog about how Owen really screwed up with the prostitutes and the money for the bakery and he feels really bad and he really wants to marry Jennifer Aniston but he doesn’t know what to do. “But why am I telling you this?” Owen Wilson says to the dog, scratching his ears. “You’re just sitting there because the producer put a steak in my pocket.”
4. Silver Did Jack-All with the Crazy New York Person
Back to the woman with two babies: It turns out that the baby who looked like a bulldog actually was a bulldog, and Silver was tasked with making the Crazy New York Person realize that. His plan was to first get the dog socialized around other dogs, to remind the dog that it was a dog. He took it to a private-membership club for dogs (NYC, you kill me!), and the dog stood around other dogs for about 12 minutes, and then END OF TRAINING.
What? END OF TRAINING? The dog pads around a private-membership club for dogs and then … nothing? So far, this show has been reliably light on the dirty work of training. This segment just sort of skipped the training.
5. Fetch Club, the Private-Membership Club for Dogs
This wasn’t in the show very much, but I had to know more about this Fetch. It really exists. It’s a club for the “urban canine,” which has all sorts of ridiculous, wonderful amenities for rich people and their dogs. At night, it turns into a discotheque for dogs.
Oh, to be young and canine in the big city.
Did you like week two of Dogs in the City as much as I sort of but not really did? Let us know in the comments!