Kaye Banks didn’t witness her Samoyed, Brian, devouring the pair of silk thong underpants that she’d taken off and set out to wash last week in Brampton, northern England. It’s certainly not very pleasant pondering why a dog would choose to swallow dirty panties and not some other item from the laundry pile, such as a linen napkin. But that’s exactly what you and I have just pondered.
Soon after his panty picnic, four-year-old Brian fell ill.
“I got really worried when he wasn’t eating properly and he regurgitated his food undigested,” 47-year-old Banks told the Telegraph.
Brian was rushed to Abbey Vets in Barnsley, South Yorkshire, whose staff “could see a big bulge on the X-ray,” Banks explained, “but they weren’t sure what it was.”
Brian was wheeled into emergency surgery, where vets worked on him for two hours.
“When they pulled out a black lacy thong,” Banks remembered, “everyone had a bit of a shock.”
Four days later, Brian was declared well enough to return home.
But within hours of his homecoming, Banks’ daughter Charlotte noticed that a certain item of her clothing had mysteriously vanished.
“I put a pink lace thong in the washing basket,” Charlotte told her mother, “and now it’s gone.”
A quick trip back to Abbey Vets revealed Brian as the thong-munching culprit once again. Apparently major surgery and his previous pukefest had taught him nothing.
“He’s a bit cheeky, and he often roots through handbags or bags of shopping and he’s occasionally chewed on the odd sock, but nothing like this,” Banks told the Telegraph. “I couldn’t believe it when we’d just got him home and it happened again.”
Henceforth, “it’s underwear straight into the washing machine where he can’t get at them,” Banks said.
That’s good advice for all of us. You never know who’s walking around the house wanting a snack.
Illlustrations by Anneli Rufus.
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