As expected, dogs made a strong showing on April Fools’ Day. Here’s some of the best jokes starring canines:
What it is: Thorpe Park, a UK theme park, begins allowing dogs not only in the park, but on the rides too.
Sample text: “After constant requests from owners, we have decided to finally open the Park to Dogs so they too can enjoy the thrilling rides. We’ve tested each ride extensively with our volunteers, and apart from a few nervous barks on Stealth, our guests rated it five woofs out of five.”
Giggles? You bet. That might be the funniest photo we’ve seen all day.
What it is: A phone you use to call your dog, courtesy of an Austrailian phone company Optus.
Sample text: “Designed for any domestic dog, the at-home handset allows your pet to answer your call with any one of six pre-programmed messages, including ‘Hey Dad, I love you’ and ‘Come and play with me.’ It also gives them the ability to call you if they need you, or if they just want to say they miss you.”
Giggles? Heartwarming giggles, to be sure. This is cute stuff.
What it is: The car company is teaching rescue dogs to drive.
Sample text: “The dogs, who sit upright on their haunches, were initially taught to steer using a wooden trolley pulled along with string. Mock car controls were then introduced before the dogs were trained to wear specially adapted safety harnesses and put behind the wheel of a 180PS four-wheel-drive Volkswagen Amarok.”
Hold up! Is this even a joke? Everybody knows dogs can be taught to drive, using pretty much exactly the processes described on the site. If this is not a joke, then why announce it on April 1? Well played, Volkswagen, whatever the hell you are doing.
Giggles? No, just confusion. But I like the game Volkswagen is playing.
What it is: The pet insurance giant updated its coverage plan to include any medical conditions sustained from extreme social media use.
Physical injuries previously unseen in companion animals are appearing across North America, and many cases are related to blogging, tweeting, snapchatting, texting, and Instagramming habits.
Additionally, pets are experiencing “Blackberry Paw” and “Text Neck” as a result of excessive use of the paws for texting and frequently looking down at their cell phones. Navigating the small buttons and touch screens add an extra strain on the interphalangeal joints of the paw.
Pets have also reported concussions and other injuries as a result of walking into signposts, doors, walls, and even pools while texting. Luckily pets are unable to operate motorized vehicles, for the most part, so injuries sustained from car selfies aren’t a major concern.
Giggles? We laughed. That was funny, right, for a pet insurance company?
What it is: We’ve talked about Hank the Milwaukee Brewers’ mascot before. On April 1, OnMilwaukee.com wrote that the dog attacked some racing sausages on opening day, resulting in an amazing article and an even more amazing photo:
According to fans at the game, the crowd loudly cheered the unexpected Hank sighting until the little rapscallion leapt toward Hot Dog and dug its teeth into the racing sausage’s foam casing. The coos of “Awwww!” were soon replaced by horrified silence, punctuated by the occasional call prodding the crowd to get their Lemon Chill right here.
Hot Dog began silently flailing and shaking back and forth in the hopes of getting Hank to let go, but the precious little puppy refused to release its vicious, blood-hungry jaws. The other four sausages attempted to swat the mini-mascot off of Hot Dog, whose frail-looking human limbs began to twitch, but their attempts were no match for the murderous hunger fueling the ferociously fluffy canine.
“We all tried to get him off of Hot Dog, but it’s actually really difficult to move in these things, and Hank was not letting go of easily the biggest sausage he’d ever seen,” said Haley Kent, who was inside the Chorizo costume for the race. “You have to admire his tenacity and persistence. You have to fear it, too. Actually, mostly fear. But also admire.”
Giggles? Absolutely. Go read the whole thing. It’s the funniest April Fools’ joke starring a dog, for sure.
Read the best April Fools’ jokes for cats here.
Did you see any great April Fools’ jokes starring pets? Let us know in the comments!
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