Dog Owner's Manual › Introduction › 

The Dog's Body

Coat: All dogs, even the so-called "hairless" varieties, have a covering of fur. Its color and/or combination of colors can vary widely, even among members of the same breed. Muscles in the skin allow the hairs to stand up or "bristle." Excess shedding or a dull, brittle coat may indicate health problems. (See Chapter 6: Grooming.)

Output Port: The dog’s waste discharge system also functions as a means for identification. The anus is bracketed by two internal anal glands that secrete a strong, pungent odor along with each bowel movement. This acts as an olfactory "calling card" to other dogs. When canines sniff each other’s hindquarters, they are in fact investigating the anal glands.

Genitals: Male dogs reach sexual maturity at approximately 8 months of age. Females become sexually mature at 9 to 15 months.

Paws: Most of the dog’s sense of touch is located here. Dogs can also sweat through their paw pads.

Tail: Used primarily to signal emotions. The number of bones in a dog’s tail (and therefore its length) varies from animal to animal.

Weight: Dog weights vary markedly, from a maximum of more than 200 pounds (91 kg) to a minimum of 2 or 3 pounds (1–1.5 kg). In general, male dogs weigh about 10 percent more than females of the same breed.

Height: As with weight, canine dimensions vary wildly from breed to breed. While the Irish wolfhound stands roughly 32 inches (81 cm) tall at the shoulders, the Chihuahua can be as short as 5 inches (13 cm).

Comments (1)

Quirk BooksThe Dog Owner’s Manual is a basic guide to dog care.
The book was written by a celebrated veterinarian and an acclaimed author. It provides dog owners with well-researched and helpful information presented in a lighthearted manner. The creators chose to write the book in a style similar to what you'd find in "operating instructions" for a car or computer, so it would be in a familiar language for someone learning how to do something for the first time. Of course they—and we—respect the fact that our beloved pets are not products or machines, and we hope you will read this guide and discover that it is as valuable as it is fun to read.

Introduction

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This manual was written in a tongue-in-cheek parody of a computer or mechanical owner's manual; no where in the manual is there any language that should be construed as devaluing your dog. It is a parody, with a comic slant to very useful information. Please do not read the content to be an attack on the love we all have for our dogs, because it clearly was not meant that way. I found the entire manual to be hilarious, along with the "mechanical" illustrations.

barked by Susyn Stecchi on Apr 21, 2008 AT 4:16 pm PDT
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