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When does it sink in?

Whether a dog dies, is lost or stolen, or must be placed in a new home, this is the place to gather together to give and receive love and support when you experience the loss of a beloved dog.

  
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Nare

Woo-woo- whineybutt
 
 
Barked: Mon Jul 1, '13 5:36pm PST 
Its been two long days since Arkane's passing.

But I can't get it in my mind that hes gone. When I'm driving Nare around and Ark isn't there, it just feels like I left him at home. I go to let him out of his crate before bed, upon waking up, etc. Its kind of alien-like only loading up one dog. Ark liked car rides, but was too short to jump into the Subaru so I had to pick him up and put him in.

As I lay here in bed typing, it just feels like hes in the other room, dozing on top of the a/c vent.

I love talking about Ark. Talking about him doesn't sadden me, he is a joy and I admire every little quirk of his. But when I look around, and I expect him to be standing there wagging and smiling at me, is when I lose it and break down. He was sneaky like that. You wouldn't even hear him, he'll just be there, ready to go. I'm sure he still is.

I had a dream last night that I was looking at puppies at a shelter, and this one Orange/Tan pup stood out to me. I looked at his face, and I swear to god it was Arkane. Like he was reincarnated or idk. It made me so happy, but I woke up crying.

I feel like having Nare softens the blow. I don't know how people have only one dog. If I had one dog to walk/love/feed/play with, and then he was gone, I think it would seem more apparent. Nare is my excuse to keep going, he keeps me distracted and (somewhat) on track.

At the same time, I feel extremely guilty. I want to fill the void before it does sink in. My mum isn't opposed to getting another dog (puppy?), but when I got Ark she made a huge deal that I was 'replacing' Nare, and I feel will pull the same stunt.. That I'm trying to replace Arkane. No, it isn't that, while I know my haste might seem like it. Arkane isn't replaceable. I don't even know what breeds he was, he was so unique. He had a toothy grin and long skinny deer-like legs. He was so smart and knew what I wanted exactly when I wanted it.
It took him until he was 7 months old to learn shake. I had to grab his paw and click, but he would never offer his paw until at 7 months he got it. It was so funny because he could do 5 minute down-stays at the doors of Petsmart, but couldn't learn shake. The first time he offered his paw I made such a big deal out of it, it made me so happy lol..

I took Nare to the river today, Arkane didn't really like water, but he had a knack of getting wet. He'd lay down right in the water, stay there for a second then jump 10 feet in the air, like he didn't realize he was laying in it!
A few weeks ago, we were going up Stand Up Creek, and Arkane walked right into the middle of the creek, Nare followed naturally, then Ark squatted to pee and of course Nare was down stream taking big gulps of water. laugh out loud

I'll post more later.. Idk. This is my little place to talk and stuff now, I guess.
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Misha- (R.I.P.- 4/29/13)

Play or hide?! I- dunno... @_@
 
 
Barked: Mon Jul 1, '13 9:38pm PST 
Sorry again for your loss... frown He sounds like a wonderful dog.

It took over a month for me to really accept that Misha was really gone. And in that subconscious way... where I kept expecting him to be there. I kept thinking I left him outside too long on accident and needed to bring him back in. Then I would remember that wasn't true... and I'd cry. I still miss him.

Don't let anyone else tell you when you're ready for a new dog. My boyfriend was ready almost immediately. Like you, he knew he could never replace Misha but needed to fill that emptiness.
I needed a month before I felt like I was emotionally ready to accept the responsibility of a new pup. I needed to watch dog movies and commiserate and get all my grief out.

Keep sharing stories about Ark. smile hughughug
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Jackson Tan

Lad about town
 
 
Barked: Mon Jul 1, '13 11:37pm PST 
I don't really know how long it takes to sink in ... I never lost a dog before. But I do know you should get another puppy when you are ready, don't worry what other people say. Often, caring for another can be the best thing for grief. And keep telling stories about Arkane. hug
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Scruffy

In Loving Memory
 
 
Barked: Tue Jul 2, '13 12:16pm PST 
hughughughughughughughughughug
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Nare

Woo-woo- whineybutt
 
 
Barked: Tue Jul 2, '13 2:57pm PST 
Popping in here quickly, as I've been thinking about Ark a lot today. We people over doing maintenance on our Air Conditioning and they cut through our insulation, which was white and fluffy, made me think of snow. Ark really liked snow, especially when it all went away and we'd drive up to snow-ridden trails so he could get his fix.
Nare loves snow too, but I figured it was because Nare was born in the summer months (June 13), so when he was ~6 months, white fluffy stuff fell from the sky and it was so new and exciting. I thought because Ark was born in the snow, that he'd like the spring flowers and warmth that the sun brought, which he did. But he liked sunbathing in the snow best.

This first video was when we hiked up the SawTooth Ridge just outside of Mt. Rainier, this was one of the hikes we most frequented, as it was just so difficult for the average person that the 20+ times I've gone, I've never seen another person. Which means wild no-leash fun.

Snow Fun


This isn't snowy, but another thing Ark adored were squeakers, I taught his recall with a squeaker and then added the whistle/cue and faded the squeaker. His favorite toys were those Hole-E balls with a squeaker ball i shoved in there, he actually broke the ball's seam (so it doesnt squeak anymore) by squeaking it so much.

SqueakSqueakSqueak


But Ark didn't like chasing tennis balls. I think its because Nare always beat him to it, and I'd throw balls to proof Ark's recall so he kind of learned to not go after them, then he didn't have to run around a lot lol.
He preferred soccer balls though. Probably because Nare didn't and there was no competition (except me).

SoccerBud


This next video is long and a little old, it was taken 2 days after I got Ark, but it shows his personality when he was/isn't sick and how much he has grown really well. Wow. I love puppies, gosh. cry He was feisty and loving.

Snow Swimming



It kind of kills me though. Arkane loved people, and people loved Arkane. There was no one who didn't like him or was scared of him. People lined up to love on him, and he loved everyone back. He made so many people happy, and he showed how much he cared very well, crawling into your lap, rolling over on his belly and leaning into you.
Nare was never a people pleaser, he'll take a treat and then will ignore you, a lot of people I have to bribe to pet him and assure them that he won't bite them or their children. Even if he was enjoying the petting, he only have subtle signs that he liked it, not enough for people to keep petting him.


He went too soon. I usually do hikes and stuff by myself, so I never get pictures with my dogs, and when I do have the opportunity to take pictures with them, I look horrid. This is the only picture I have of me and Ark together, and it was after we hiked 15 miles to the top of Mt. Stuart (meaning I look like poo). I really wish that we could have had a family portrait done or something..

Ark & I


I'll shoot out some individual responses later. Thanks guys.
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Jax (earned- her wings- 5/30/12)

Give me your- toy.
 
 
Barked: Tue Jul 2, '13 6:48pm PST 
Great pics. For me it sunk in right away, because Jax was my shadow. She was always by my feet where ever I went. I think for everyone, it's different and it also depends on the dog. I still get choked up at certain times, because something reminded me of Jax. For a while, every once in a while, I would forget for a minute and do something with the dogs that I intended on including Jax with. Sorry you lost such a good friend..........hughughughughug
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Member Since
06/25/2013
 
 
Barked: Wed Jul 3, '13 12:28pm PST 
hi- sometimes never. death is part of life, I know it so well. my parents.aunts,uncles,cousin are all gone now my beloved coco lasha aspso, I found abandoned in 2002, in a dirty lot. he bit me his whole life up to a yr ago.now he is so loving to me, I only wish he was like this then-- he is 15/16nor 16/17. he had cancer in 2009 mct gd2. removed. ok. now, the end is very,very near. I want god to take him,

im all alone no husband,kids,girlfriends. I have cousins far away. no one to hold me or give me support. I live in a small apt, im66 yrs old. he is my world and I know my world is going to cras in on me hard. I cannot get myself sick. I must be strong. I need 2 knee operations,diabetic. when I lost my mother in 1985 I wounded up in hospital so weak from cring 365 days-no support. my brother is married in nj. I wish he would stay with me forever but I learned a hard life answer nothing is forever. 1176977-peaches(Lydia)
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Lola, in memory.

Her name was- Lola, she WAS a- show girl..
 
 
Barked: Wed Jul 3, '13 5:25pm PST 
Ark, I lost Lola last week and in her case, it is even harder to have it sink in. She was co-owned and spent time with both me and her co-owner so when I miss her, I automatically think she is with the co-owner.
I haven't decided if that helps OR hurts more!
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Nare

Woo-woo- whineybutt
 
 
Barked: Thu Jul 4, '13 8:35pm PST 
I finally did something I should have done a loooong time ago. Applied for CareCredit and put a number of emergency vets into my phone. Admittedly I wasn't too prepared, had the "It'll never happen to me" syndrome, but not again.


Oh, Toto! frown It would be wonderful if they were just visiting a friends, off and having fun.. and come back to ease our sorrow.


Jax is very very pretty, she has such a happy smile.
When I've been doing stuff with Nare I keep imagining how Ark would react, what he would do. I've never had to worry about Ark, when I wash the car outside he'd just lay on the porch and watch, Nare is the one who gets sneaky and tries to go chase rabbits. But everytime I looked up, it was guaranteed that Arkane would be laying on the porch, smiling and wagging, rolling onto his side to try and entice me to give him a good rub.
He also bounced a lot. When I'd cook / bake, he'd get so excited, he'd walk on his back legs and jump up to take in the smells. Nare was never so involved in my baking, only Ark would lick the bowl spotless and wait by the warm oven for me to take goodies out.


Thank you Misha, both of our boys were so young ): Arya is a cutie, and I hope she brings you many joys and fun times.


JT I hope that you do not have to feel the pain, I wish that no one had to experience the loss of a pet. However, I feel sort of, I don't know, relieved. We had pictures made today and I got a scrapbook and stuff. He looks so happy in all of them, I don't think I ever looked back on them and realized that. I tend to be the person who lingers onto the negative times (I really wish I didn't), so all I'd think of were the times he was sick.. But he wasn't sick that often. A lot of the times he was happy in spite of being sick. He is a good dog.

Good boy Arkane, ilu. cry
Thank you all. Have a wonderful 4th and stay safe.
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Nare

Woo-woo- whineybutt
 
 
Barked: Wed Jul 10, '13 6:05pm PST 
On Monday we left to Oregon.
If Arkane only held on for a few more weeks.. He could be enjoying the sand with us. ): I have his collar hanging on the rearview mirror of the car. It kept me company on the long drive down.
It is really windy down here, Arkane would have liked it. He was the one what stuck his head out the car window and took in the fresh air, Nare looks a little offended after a gust of wind hits him (maybe cause it messes up his fur).
Lots of seagulls. But Ark isn't interested in those. He dug for sand dollars. People saw him digging for them and told me to train him to dig for clams, cause he only went for the alive / non broken ones. I wouldn't know how to do that though.

There is lots of people. Ark would have liked that too. I probably would have had to keep a close eye to make sure no one tried to sneak off with his cute furry butt.

In the mean time, I've got a sandy Narenare. We've visited a lot of pet stores and stuff. Everything in Oregon is cheaper.. ! I could get used to it.

We go back home on Sunday and then on Monday is my interview at Petsmart for a Dog Trainer position. So things are looking up a little bit.
I've called my mum a few times and asked how Ark was. Blah. This will take awhile getting used to.


If anyone sees this.. Nare has gone into the ocean a lot, but the water hasnt gone above his body but he is itching even if i hose him off. Could his flea stuff have washed off ? or is his skin irritated (its not red) ?

Thank you hug
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