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how do we prepare?

Whether a dog dies, is lost or stolen, or must be placed in a new home, this is the place to gather together to give and receive love and support when you experience the loss of a beloved dog.

  
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Sabi

When the night- closes in I will- be there
 
 
Barked: Wed Oct 5, '11 9:26am PST 
So I was reading some of the other posts and realizing that there are a lot of seniors on dogster. I keep wondering how we prepare for what we all know is coming, or can we. I have had Sabs since she was 6 weeks old and she has been plagued by injuries most of her adult life. At 10 I am noticing a drastic decline and I don't think I have a lot longer. But when I look at her I cannot imagine how my life will be with out this wonderful, brave, loyal animal by my side. I suffered horrible depression when I lost my Dane totally unaware that there were people I could have talked to. Sabi was my partner for most of her life and aside from the long nights on patrol when I had only her for companionship, on at least two occassions she was directly responsible for saving my life, literally. Can we prepare for the end? Is it really possible?
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Turner - Gone Too- Soon

Hi I'm Turner- Wanna Smell My- Butt?
 
 
Barked: Wed Oct 5, '11 10:55am PST 
In a word, no.

We knew Baby had cancer and waited (we feel) too long. Boomer stopped eating one day, I took her to the vet, she never came home. Turner, whole bad story, still hurts too much sometimes. I have loads of pictures and videos for my memories. It's not easy. Turner was my heart and soul dog. He went everywhere and everyone knew him as a part of me. With shift work and the type of work we do it's mentally draining and some times physically exhausting. Turner and all of my dogs are my release. I try to think of all of the fun things we did. I printed off all of his Dogster Diaries and made a memorial book with it and pictures. It's never easy, but I think they don't live as long because their job with us is complete.

So can one prepare, I don't think so once they are gone there is silence. But using that silence to remember helped.
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In Loving- Memory of- Chance

The dog who- didn't stand a- chance
 
 
Barked: Wed Oct 5, '11 11:24am PST 
Yes and no.

I don't think we can ever be completely prepared for the silence that follows a loss. Though, many of us go through what's called anticipatory grief. I did for Chance and I do feel that it helped ease the loss a little. I thought for sure that Chance was going to pass away way back in 2007. He started slowing down a lot. But a change of diet and he picked back up. I did go through a bit of anticipatory grieving for him. Well, a lot, actually. In 2007, I realized how old he was really getting and that his time with us very well could be slimming. When he passed away in his sleep in 2009, I was hurt. He'd been with us for my teenage years and my early adult years. I was losing not only a friend, but a family member. Still, I'd already been in my grieving. So, I feel I moved through it faster for him than I did for Cinnamon. Still, I wasn't prepared in the literal sense. His loss still affected me quite badly. I don't think anyone can be prepared in the literal sense. The best piece of advice I can give is to not worry about it too much. Enjoy every moment with your senior dog and never waste a second. This goes for any dog, of any age.

hug
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River

Always hug your- puppy...
 
 
Barked: Wed Oct 5, '11 2:50pm PST 
When Clover was ageing and knowing she was eventually leaving....it was SO hard....but the most sage advise my Mum was given...was not to mourn her before she was gone....just live for each and every precious day as it was your first.....hughug
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Tucker - My Forever- Smiley Boy

Never stop- smiling.........- ..........
 
 
Barked: Wed Oct 5, '11 6:03pm PST 
wave Hi Clover and River! Long time no see! Clover, aren't we married now at The Bridge? I forgot! BOL! big laugh There is no one way to prepare. We're all different. If there is one thing for sure and only one thing for sure, we'll let you know when we're ready. In the meantime enjoy every minute of the time we have together.
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MIKA&KAI

Akita Pals- Always.
 
 
Barked: Wed Oct 5, '11 9:27pm PST 
You can prepare or try to,it won't make any difference.It will hurt just as much,you'll miss them just as much,and you'll be lonely,angry,upset,guilty and hurt just as much. It doesn't get easier the second or third orhowever many times you have made that choice. You will still need to grieve,move thruogh the grief and move on with life. So as Turner said,"In a word,NO"
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Sabi

When the night- closes in I will- be there
 
 
Barked: Wed Oct 5, '11 9:37pm PST 
Thanks guys. I know this is a depressing topic, I just wanted to know if there was a way anyone had found. I have been through this with so many dogs I lost count, but only a few of my own. Maybe just because I am older now, I look at Sabi and all that frustration and grief just takes over. I feel like I should be able to do something. But I am so grateful that she chose me to love.
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Wellington- 4/14/01 - 2/18/13

No I'm NOT a- Saint Bernard.
 
 
Barked: Wed Oct 5, '11 10:24pm PST 
I think there is one thing we can do to help ourselves prepare - and that is to spend time making our babies happy. Their world may get smaller as they decline but you are still the center of it. A belly rub here, a back massage there, a walk someplace new (with new smells) or just being in the same room with them are all things that will bring quality to the time you have together. It won't make it any easier when they finally must go. But you will have more happy memories and fewer regrets. Remember, our beloved animals live in the moment. They don't anticipate what is going to happen and they don't regret not having done things. We are the ones that cloud our love with those thoughts. Know that when the time comes it will still hurt more than you can imagine. But the thoughts and happy memories of your time together will help keep that hurt from killing you.
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(retired)min- ister misty

be calm, dont- worry!
 
 
Barked: Thu Oct 6, '11 12:25am PST 
no not really sabi...
misty is an old girl and i now that she can pass away with the medical issues she has due to old age...
but when she got ill three weeks ago,i just couldn't handle it at all
and she is almost thirteen.
i know that she is old but i'm still not prepared to loose her.
it's just hard to let go of the love we feel for our fur children.
and when the day comes,all we cando is to let it come over us and to deal with it as good as we canshrug
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Angels of- the Roo Crew

Watching over- our pals

moderator
 
 
Barked: Thu Oct 6, '11 7:55am PST 
The best thing to do is love them as best as you can today. Take LOTS of pictures and HOLD onto that love. When the inevitable happens, remember to live your life in HONOR of your beloved dog.
Have you ever watched the movie, "What Dreams May Come"? While it hurts, it helped me.

Just hold on to today. Enjoy what you have for now. Tomorrow will come soon enough. Try not to dwell on it. As hard as that might be, you have to live for today because once Sabi is gone, you won't have those days of crying and wishing to take back and enjoy again.

The days of crying can come after he's gone.cry

If you want a project to help, start a scrap book or a living memorial. Do lots of photographs and paw prints. Learn to make a sweater out of his fur.cloud 9 That would be something WONDERFUL to keep you close forever...

Just some thoughts from another person that has been there.hug
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