|Barked: Mon Mar 12, '07 6:59am PST |
|Here's a poem my mom just wrote this morning. Guess what she had to do yesterday??? BOL
THE POOP-SCOOPIN' BOOGIE
(AKA: ODE TO POOP)
Well, I've waited for Spring and the thaw it is here
But I didn't expect that I'd find everywhere...
This poopage they've left me.... this brown stuff galore!
This yard full of carnage outside my front door!
I look woefully out at the deep mounds of brown
the mine field that lives in my unknowing town
I walk with stiff toes tenderly 'round the brown bombs
that four dogs have left me with joy and aplomb
The stuff it froze hard to the wintery ground
And thus my excuse for just leaving it 'round
But now with the thaw it shows multiple layers
of poopage stuff left from four happy poop players
Poop it is here, and dung it is there
My God, this stuff is just thrown all around, everywhere!
It's over, it's under, it's all covered and frosted
with brown drop-kerplops, I've been duly accosted!
To pick this up, I know, takes at least (my oh my)
Double-lined Hefty bags of 20-plus ply!
And then a big crane to lift just bag one
because of the stuff -- it weighs nearly a TON!
But what - I do wonder - as I shovel the doo
just what would the garbage man say if he knew?
That inside this bag isn't cans or old meat
But stuff that he wouldn't allow on his feet!
Recycle, I think, it would help our great Earth
to help this poop carnage have fancy rebirth
As firewood or compost or something of use
but the stuff simply is just too widespread and profuse!
And here the stuff sits in all stages o' decay
with the thaw telling me I must face it today.
So I go with the shovel, and the 20-plus ply black bag
And hope that the neighbors don't watch this old nag
As she loads up and shovels and digs the great heaps
Of poopsicles thawed now in piles oh so deep
With sunglasses on (not for glare, but disguise)
Here I go, to the thaw, and the poop on the rise.
My one consolation as I lift up the sack,
Is that others today are also scooping their crap.
So I say to my friends, as you scoop your brown cakes!
Merry thawing to all, and may your bags never break.
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